Nothing else better to do than read this

I hate poker

2008-07-25T10:02:00.004-04:00

well....not really, but it sure has been frustrating lately when I keep getting cold cards.

I mentioned that I played poorly in a tourney last Saturday. My demise came when my AK met pocket queens and didn't improve. Last night at Lottery Larry's tournament of champions game, I had deja vu when I was short stacked and was faced with 5 limpers and I was in the small blind with jack seven suited. My hand was meaningless as there was 25% of my stack in the pot including the blinds and if I could use my short stack while it still had fold equity I could make a push and pick up a nice pot. Even if I get called by one of the limpers It's very likely I have 2 "live cards". It's doubtful I was facing a big pair as no one but the first limper would try to foray into a limped pot with a big pair. So I made it look like I had a good hand and pushed all in and the big blind, the only person that I had no reasonable read on, woke up with pocket queens and went all in himself. The others folded and even though I technically hit a full house (the board was 88833), he had a better full house and I was on the rail.

I can at least claim that my early night was due to grief. My wife called me just as the tournament started to let me know that our last goldfish, Michael, had finally succumbed to whatever ailment his two compatriots had fallen to.

RIP
Michael
2007-2008

While the fish were dying at my house, the fish seemed to be thriving at Lottery Larry's house. I am reluctant to mention hands and names as Lottery Larry has recently taken passages from my blog without permission and put it into his trip report. (he'll be hearing from my lawyers Dewey, Phuc M, Goode, & Howe) I don't wish to publicly call anyone a bad player and criticize their hands. Especially since I am no big shakes myself. I like to think I am always improving in poker, but I most certainly don't make all the right moves nor claim to be an expert. I'll just say that worst hand kept winning. Over and over and over again. Even in the low limit cash game I played in afterwards, I had my aces cracked by 67 with a CAPPED PREFLOP POT! (in other words, the bets were raised and reraised 4 times- the most allowed.)

I can't complain all that much, I had fun joking around and I didn't lose very much money. The best line of the night came from the razz specialist, Dan. A player came over to the cash game from the tourney and started complaining that he was knocked out on the bubble. He started playing alot of crappy hands like 10 4 off suit and was winning big pots. He then claimed in defense of his bad play-

"I was a two-thirds favorite to win that hand on the bubble and I lost, so why should I play good hands if that doesn't seem to work?"

Dan quickly remarked, "Because two out three times you aren't going out on the bubble?"

ahhh...nerd humor...

High Stakes Poker will be back for season 5!

2008-07-23T14:56:00.002-04:00

I can't seem to find the official confirmation but according to several blogs from poker players and 2+2 it appears that the show High Stakes Poker will tape it's fifth season in September and air on GSN in February. Originally the option for HSP wasn't renewed and the World Poker Tour was also let go on the Game show Network. It looked bleak for poker on TV as the only shows that were being produced was a time buy in Poker After Dark airing at 2:30AM, The World Series on ESPN and the Heads Up challenge that airs once a year on NBC.

PAD did fill the void of the lack of cash game play by airing a week of cash games last week but it's regular format is a 6 person sit and go. I think that cash is ultimately more interesting to watch and play than a tournament where increasing blinds create variance and dictate action. I suppose the TV execs want the all in action but I think if done well with a good commentator cash games can make for a more interesting show.

Why GSN had the change of heart? I have no idea, but nonetheless, I'm glad it will be back. I will also personally hunt down males aged 18-35 with neilson boxes and make them watch the show. I should've done this years ago for Arrested Development and Firefly.

Phils win in a big comeback, no thanks to Blanton

2008-07-22T22:06:00.004-04:00

The Phils could hardly muster but 2 runs against Mets staff ace Johan Santana tonight. Blanton didn't pitch all that well (surprise, surprise) in his debut for the Phillies as he let up 5 runs in 6innings. Although I still contend that we will regret this trade for years, it was great to see a magnificent comeback 9th inning win.

Down by 5-2 and no Billy Wagner available for the Mets to close out the game, the Phillies had the following players go on base without making an out-

Werth
Dobbs
Victorino
Ruiz
Taguchi
Rollins

Not the players you'd expect to mount a huge comeback as there wasn't any real power hitters in there. The biggest hit was a bases loaded double that came off the bat of Mr. Awful this year himself, So Taguchi.

When the inning finally ended they were up by 8-5. Lidge successfully closed it out and the Phils won 8-6.

This was one of those games that you look back on as one the top 3 or 4 games of the year that make you look back and smile big. Whenever you beat your divisional rival in an unlikely come from behind win to take sole possession of 1st place, I think it becomes one of those moments where you're overcome with wonderful feelings of being a baseball fan.

Thanks So, I'm sorry I bad mouthed you so many times this year. I'm sure come the next game I'll be bad mouthing you again, but you were key tonight. Let's pull for 2 more big wins!!!

The Darker Knight

2008-07-22T11:01:00.003-04:00

tsk tsk tsk

Christian Bale, the actor that plays Batman, was arrested recently for allegedly assaulting his own mother. Wow, If true I guess all that money from his percentage of gross from this weekend's record breaking box office had made him so angry and violent that he would hit his own Ma. If this isn't proof that fame and money don't buy happiness then I don't know what does. Celebrities are just as infallible as we are and perhaps more so. I'd argue that you have to be a crazy wack job to be in the public spot light. So perhaps their proclivities make them more apt to do things most of us wouldn't even consider.

Just look at Mel Gibson's anti-semitic drunken rants, Britney Spear's umbrella attacks and head shaving adventures, and murderous rampages by OJ Simpson. Well, okay so maybe the last example was a bit extreme, but you get the point. We see actors act on television and movies and asume that they have their shit together when in fact it may even be worse for them.

It's hard to be in control when you aren't.

Butt Glue

2008-07-22T09:31:00.003-04:00

Since I was ordered to rest my foot by my doctor I am confined to my chair in my office right now. I can't really skip work as our sole employee already had requested the day off. Thus I am answering the phones and emails as my brother gets some much needed exercise in the warehouse as he puts together the orders.

While I will be helping out I won't have all that much to do. It's bad enough when I have lulls at work when I'm out in the warehouse but it'll be even worse with me stuck in a chair. So look out blog posts, facebook, and internet message boards!!

Aside from it's incredible utility, the internet is a huge waste of time. But time killing is what cures my ails right now. Like most of us, I've always required some sort of mental stimuli in order for me to function. Which, of course, brings us back to "what did we ever do without the internet?" feeling.

The Dark Knight

2008-07-21T21:33:00.003-04:00

Wow!

I promised a review but I feel that I can't give this movie it's proper due as it will just come across as me gushing on and on about how great it was.

Just go see it. It's worth your 10 bucks.

In some ways I feel that any superhero story that comes out now will pale in comparison to this movie.

I can die happy now. My inner nerd is sated.

Good old self-medication!

2008-07-21T21:15:00.004-04:00

One of the main symptoms of mood disorders is drug or alcohol abuse. The reason for this is that the unaware bipolar person ends up self-medicating themselves to regulate their moods. The unfortunate consequence is that their friends and family tend to focus solely on the drug problem and blame the behavior on the drugs or alcohol. Those who aren't addicted quit the drugs rather easily but still suffer the mood swings and thus end up using again or over indulging.

It was no secret that the past week was a bit manic for me. (well, I did blog as such) I admit that instead of going back on proper medication I over indulged in alcohol this past weekend. Alcohol is a depressant and it for the most part it quells my racing thoughts. I knew what I was doing and I figured it would be "fun" instead of feeling foggy on Zyprexa. Gotta love mania induced logic as I paid the price.

For starters I performed horribly in the Saturday poker tournament. I was basically hung over by the time I got there. I grew impatient rather quickly and was the 2nd to bust out as I overplayed AK vs. QQ. After being inebriated for most of the remainder of the weekend I woke last night with horrible foot pain. I can't even walk on it. The worst part is that I have no idea as to what the heck I did to it. I'm guessing in my drunken state I must've stumbled enough to cause some damage. My x-rays revealed nothing today so it appears I have sprained ligaments of my metatarsals.

"Fun"

During my doctor appointment I got a renewal of mood stabilizing medications. Hopefully, I can have the control to make a better decision the next time I get as "up" as I did this past week.

The triumphant return of the comic book nerd!!

2008-07-18T08:46:00.006-04:00

If the Simpsons character to the right (aptly named the "Comic Book Guy") makes you laugh then you must have met a comic book nerd somewhere along your travels. While I like to think that I am a bit more socially adept; I am at times a full blown comic book nerd. At one point in my life I had over 25 boxes of comic books! I had to grow up eventually after having kids, so I sold them all (at a loss). However, I still get uppity when it comes to the recent rush of comic book characters showing up in movies. All of which, I would read in my bedroom in Richboro or my dorm room in College Park Maryland.

The really good stuff like A History of Violence, Road to Perdition and Persepolis is not even known by most people to be comic book errr...ahem!!...excuse me... graphic novel material. Thus I won't include that material in this discussion. I am referring to, of course, super heroes.

Let's face it, it's hard to explain to a girl you have sexual interest in that Spiderman, the X-men, and Batman have some really good and thought-provoking stories. I'll readily admit that there's more chaff than wheat in the industry as a whole, but writers like Alan Moore, Grant Morrison and Frank Miller could make some damn good superhero comic books that would appeal to a mature audience. The only thing you could do was give someone a copy of Batman: Year One or The Watchmen and hope that would actually read it because if they did, you'd have a convert. But, alas, even my own wife can't get through The Watchmen. She has a hard deciphering which panel to read next and I don't think she has the nerd gene that allows her to read comic books.

Which brings us to the current rush of movies.

In a way, it started with the Tim Burton Batman movie. Today that movie looks silly compared to Batman Begins despite it's initial lauded reaction by the general masses. Movies like Spiderman, Iron Man and X-men are not only getting people to see how good a superhero story can be but they are also becoming very profitable for Hollywood. There are some clunkers like Daredevil and Fantastic Four and also some near misses like Superman Returns but if you let Hollywood get a hold of any printed material they will most likely screw it up. The ratio of good movies vs. bad superhero movies is actually quite good compared to most of your popular fiction novels that have been given the movie treatment. I suppose the fact that comic books are essentially story boards is what lends itself to better translation. It just becomes a matter of good writing and the fact that special effect technology is there to create "plausibility".

Tonight, I am seeing a movie in the theater without the kids for the 1st time in over a year. I have been psyched to see Dark Knight ever since the ending scene of Batman Begins. Based on the reviews I have been seeing, Dark Knight appears to be that movie that will justify my comic book nerdom. It is the movie that will let the general masses see that even a superhero story can have substance and meat and thoughtful art. It is the movie that will make my 30 years of reading in shame all worthwhile. I know my expectations are high but I know they will met. I'll try and put in my own personal review sometime this weekend.

Personally, I think The Watchmen is the greatest superhero story told in graphic novels and I'm very excited to see the movie next year. But I fear that a 2.5 hour movie will not do it justice. A good Batman and Joker story doesn't need to be longer than 2.5 hours whereas The Watchmen is a complete story and not a serial comic. Nonetheless, good stories are making their way to the big screen. Me and my fellow comic book nerds are in a golden age.

Best comic movie era ever!

Fuck you Pat Gillick

2008-07-17T19:33:00.003-04:00

Joe Blanton sucks donkey balls, he is NOT an upgrade. Yes we need pitching, yes we should trade away premium prospects like Cardenas to get said pitching. BUT NOT FOR BLANTON WHO SUCKS THIS YEAR JUST AS MUCH AS ADAM FUCKING EATON.

You make it hard to be a Phillies fan today.

Watchmen preview

2008-07-17T16:24:00.004-04:00

EDIT-

they removed it from youtube!! Dammit!!

EDIT on the EDIT-

as posted by Mr. Odney himself- Preview in glorious HD

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

2008-07-17T14:33:00.003-04:00

7 hours sleep in the last 2 nights and I'm revved up and raring to go!

YEEEEEEEEHAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!

Damn, it feels great at times but I sure could use a breather...

Manic mania

2008-07-16T16:02:00.003-04:00

The past 2 days I've definitely been manic. Although you might think when I'm manic I would post up a storm on the blog but the contrary is quite true. It's just hard to concentrate and focus long enough to even make a 2 paragraph blog post. I may be fun to chat with but I'm certainly in no shape to make whimsical blog entries.

I'm sure things will get ugly in a few days, so in the meantime I'm going to enjoy myself while trying not to get myself into debt or trouble.

Until then-

bisous

Rooting for the hotness

2008-07-14T11:25:00.005-04:00

The World Series of Poker Main Event is down to the final 3 tables of 27 players. The only two "recognizable" names are actress and poker hostess Tiffany Michelle and known pro Brandon Cantu. I can't say that I knew of Tiffany Michelle other than her hosting on camera for Pokernews.com. I have no idea if she is a good player or not. Quite frankly, with past winners like Jerry Yang and Jamie Gold, I don't think it will be required. Apparently she has some minor acting roles to go along with her poker hosting duties.

While it isn't definite, it is very possible for her to make the final table with her currently being in 3rd place out the 27. Sure, she could have an epic meltdown like me last Saturday but her odds are good she'll make the final table. She'll be the 1st woman to make the final 9 since Barbara Enright did it for the 1st time in 1995. This year they are taking a 4 month break after the final 9 is set so ESPN can air the final table 2 days after showing all of their coverage up til then. That way they can keep the winner more suspenseful. The extra media coverage will also make the final 9 stars instead of unknowns (and more marketable). If Tiffany makes it she will have the spotlight thrust on her the brightest.

Which in my opinion is a very good thing. In some ways it's a shame that her good looks will be a part of that fact but it will perhaps encourage women to not be so intimidated at the poker table. Plus the extra ratings will be a very good thing for those who enjoy watching poker on television as lately the ratings have not been stellar. Shows like High Stakes Poker haven't been renewed and I miss that show terribly.

So if a nice looking female can play decently or get lucky and thus gets some extra press for poker, it's all good. Poker could use some more positive stories after two big cheating scandals in Ultimate Bet and Absolute Poker. (look for 60 minutes this September) Plus it's better than watching Phil Hellmuth throw another tantrum and berate players.

Tie a yellow ribbon...

2008-07-13T21:25:00.004-04:00

Charities are good. Charities need to advertise in some fashion as it helps them get more donations. Whomever invented the ribbon idea was a genius. Everyone knows a yellow ribbon is for hostages or vets, pink ribbons are for breast cancer. But after that it starts to get a bit hazy.

Nowadays you need a color coordination chart to know what color ribbon represents which charity.

"Honey, the car in front of us has a mauve ribbon!"

(scans the chart) "Oh! That's habitat for humanity!"

I guess, it's not the worst thing to have a ribbon for every charity, but really, wouldn't it be more memorable for that charity to have their own symbol or reminder?

Heads up melt downs

2008-07-13T21:12:00.004-04:00

This past weekend's poker tourney I cruised into the final two with a 7 to 1 chip lead.

I came in 2nd.

It's the 2nd such meltdown this year. I know anyone can win heads up due to higher variances but it is certainly disappointing and it makes me wonder if I have a serious weak spot.

I do feel I get somewhat impatient heads up and my aggressive play may be too strong. But then again, the short stack is usually 10 big blinds or less so any action taken needs to be forceful or else you're just giving away chips.

While I doubt myself at my heads up skills I do think when I play live my table talk gets people to call me down when I have the goods. The fact that I joke alot and perform some antics gives people the impression I am playing too many hands when in fact I'm playing rather tight.

I guess if I were to take 2nd in every tourney I wouldn't be so upset but it smarts when you have such a commanding lead and can't hold on. I have yet another tourney this coming weekend, here's hoping I get a chance to practice my heads up play.

TJ Cookier

2008-07-09T21:23:00.006-04:00

This is old time poker player and degenerate gambler TJ Cloutier...

Someone on the poker fan website pocket 5's saw this cookie....

...and thought that if he were to combine the 2 pictures the resulting picture would be funny. (and it was!!)

Now I know it may seem stupid to you, but I've literally been laughing at this picture for over a week now. So, I feel compelled to share. They've even started a whole thread dedicated to putting TJ Cookier in different situations and movie posters over at 2+2. Enjoy!!

(snicker...TJ Cookier...guffaw!)

The fish are dropping like flies!!

2008-07-08T15:40:00.004-04:00

RIP Leo
2007-2008

Yet another dead fish in the tank this morning. I didn't say anything to kids this time as I needed to drop them off at camp and get to work. My lack of being up front with the news of their pet's passing was based solely on their previous over the top reaction to the death of their first fish. I would have been at least a half hour late if I informed them of Leo's demise. But really, I do think Leo would have wanted it that way. I am the main fish food dispenser after all, so one can logically assume that he did like me. Thus, I'm positive he wouldn't want me to be late for work on his account. The least I can do is respect the wishes of a dead fish. Besides, Lynn can break it to them when she picks them up.

That leaves Michael as the sole survivor of the upstairs tank. We have a Betta named Fabio in a small bowl downstairs. You can't put the Bettas in with the goldfish as they will continue to attack them until they are dead. Had I known Leo was so close to meet his maker I would have put him in the bowl with Fabio. That way he could have gone out with some panache and style. Plus it would entertain poor Fabio who seems rather bored with his existence lately.

I'm debating whether or not to get more fish. If the kids have another wailing fest like they did last time I don't think I could handle any more pet deaths. The little hypocrites hardly ever fed the fish or merely gaze at them in their tank very often. I think we should give them fish sticks for dinner as we break the news to them so the event would be compete with irony.

Vote for Pat

2008-07-07T15:09:00.002-04:00

Pat "the Bat" Burrell got snubbed for the all-star game this year. If you look at the starting outfield for the National League you would laugh. The names are all recognizable but they're all having rather mediocre years. Pat is having one of his best years and I will contend that he plays very well and ranks among the top left fielders year in and year out. Sure he's a touch slow in the field but he has a good arm and knows how to take a pitch and most importantly, get on base.

So, if you have a few spare moments, go here and vote as many times as you wish for Pat. It might be his last year as a Phillie, so let's see him leave in style.

A year without a cigarette

2008-07-05T12:48:00.004-04:00

If I sound like one of those pain in the ass ex-smokers who annoy the crap out of you because I constantly talk about the fact that I quit smoking and feel so much better now, well then, tough shit. For starters, it was hard. the actual time I quit wasn't that bad (thank you Chantix), but it took me at least 15 tries before I finally did it. My pride can't be contained because it's a huge accomplishment to me. (just as it was one of the dumbest things for me to ever do in the first place)

Also, it truly is a very healthful thing for me. Even after only a year I notice the differences. Just last Monday I got a cold. When I was smoking the congestion would linger up to 2-3 weeks. The major sniffles from my current cold subsided Thursday and by this morning the excess mucus is all but gone. Plus, it's really an awful thing when you are sick and you just have to grab a smoke. Nothing worse than having all sorts of congestion in your chest and adding the tar and smoke from a nasty habit. My sense of smell has improved and I'm able to breathe better when I exercise or do strenuous activity.

Lastly, I don't stink any more. I always knew that smokers have that smell, but never realized the full extent until after I quit and my sense of smell improved. It was in my clothes for months after I quit. I had no idea how much I reeked. It's nice to be neutral smelling these days and not offensive to some people.

July 5th 2007 was the last time I had a cigarette. It's been one year for me and hopefully I am never weak or dumb enough to smoke again. Please allow me this self-indulgence as I enjoy this moment.

I did it! I did it! I did it!

Dreams of insomnia

2008-07-03T11:58:00.005-04:00

Last night I had the weirdest dream that I was awake and I couldn't get to sleep. I was lying in bed watching TV and tossing and turning and getting upset that I wouldn't go to sleep when it was 4:25AM. Then I heard my alarm go off and, of course, it was real life letting me know it was in reality time to get up.

This is about the 3rd or 4th time that I've had this kind of dream. It's really disconcerting to be dreaming that you're all anxious because you can't get to sleep and the next that happens is that your alarm is blaring to wake you up. As a result you don't even feel like you've slept those 8 hours at all. The line between feeling normal and feeling disconnected from reality becomes awfully blurry as a result. It takes at least 2 hours to recover from this sort of dream. I've had horrible nightmares of being stabbed to death or being stalked by a killer chainsaw wielding maniac and those dreams don't affect me past 15 minutes of wakefulness like this stupid dream has.

One of the ways that I know that I'm slipping into a manic mood is that I don't need as much sleep or can't get to sleep. So, if I'm dreaming about not being able to sleep is that a cue that I will be having some manic dreams? What sucks even more is that I can't remember the last time that I had a sex dream. I guess I'm past my sexual prime and my subconscious mind knows it.

I suppose the weirdest moment in dreams is when you realize that you are indeed dreaming but don't wake up. Nonetheless, I still don't have that ability to control my dreams when I have the mental awareness of being in REM. The only control that I seem to exhibit is that if something scary or bad happens I can tell myself it's just a dream and wake myself up. The ultimate nightmare scenario would be if I couldn't wake myself.

That sentiment, of course, goes back to my fear of sleep since I relate sleeping to death. Back when my anxiety was full blown I had terrible insomnia and was afraid to go to sleep just because I was concerned that I might not ever wake up. Letting go of your conscious mind is somewhat like dying, at least it is to me. Slipping into sleep is a mental release that I still need to do to this day. I essentially give myself permission to sleep.

Yeah, I'm pretty fucked in the head, aren't I?

Slow ball offerings

2008-07-02T08:56:00.006-04:00

Shortly after the announcement that the Phillies announced Myers assignment to the minors they announced the promotion of left handed relief pitcher, RJ Swindle.

I can hear most of you now-

"Who?"

Well for starters- he's not Myers replacement in the rotation. He's filling in the bullpen for Clay Condrey who is on paternity leave. Secondly, he's a guy who isn't considered by many professional baseball scouts to be a good prospect or even a major leaguer.

"Why?" You ask?

He's a tad old as he's turning age 25 this Monday (Happy Birthday RJ!!) and his best pitch is a curve ball that travels at the speed of 51 mph. Yes, you read that right; that's not a typo. He throws a ball at a speed that you and I can throw without much effort. His fastball can reach speeds up to a Jamie Moyeresue 84 mph.

"He sounds like he sucks, are the Phillies' minor league system that bad that they have to call up this guy?!"

Well, while the upper tiers of the system don't exactly inpire confidence, RJ's performance has forced the Phillies' hand to make this move. His numbers are very, very good despite having what you would might consider an unimpressive repetoire of pitches. He's struck out 48 batters in 40 innings for the Lehigh Valley Iron Pigs and has an ERA around 2. If you didn't know what he throws you might think we have another Lidge waiting in the wings. Funny thing is- if you look at his stats throughout his career he has very similar numbers. Yet he keeps getting dropped by teams like the Boston Red Sox and New York Yankees.

I highly recommend that you read this interview that was conducted at The Good Phight about a month ago when his stats started to receive some attention. I guess scouts and talent evaluators don't know everything and I truly hope that he has a chance to show his stuff and has success at the major league level with the Phillies. Pitching is often about changing speeds and location and pure speed isn't everything. Greg Maddux and Jamie Moyer are proof of this.

Congrats RJ!

Excuse me while I pick up my jaw off from the floor....

2008-07-01T16:18:00.001-04:00

Just when you think you have the Phillies pegged...

Brett Myers has been awful this year, but you figured the Phillies had too much money invested in him to do much about it.

NOPE

Wow, just wow.

I see dead people

2008-06-30T21:19:00.003-04:00

In honor of George Carlin's passing, NBC reran the very first episode of Saturday Night Live this past weekend. I watched most of it and I was astounded to see how many people on the show that are now no longer with us. Sure it's been 33 years, but here is a list of people of the top of my head on that show who are now dead.

Michael O'Donohue-originally a Not Ready for Prime Time player (for 2 weeks) and eventually a head writer, he opened the show with Belushi and Chase.

John Belushi- the first big death of the original cast. I was surprised at how low key he was in the 1st episode.

George Carlin- he was the host, yet he didn't appear in any sketches that I saw. He did parts of his stand up including on how baseball and football differ. I had his stand up on cassette tape back in high school and I would listen to it often.

Jim Henson- While he was only on for a year Jim Henson and his Muppets (no Kermit or Fozzie tho) were a regular feature of the show. I really miss Jim and his imagination and craft.

Gilda Radner- one of the funniest comedians, male or female there was.

Billy Preston- he was a musical guest, the man played with Beatles and was a legend all on his own.

Andy Kaufman- this warped genius made his TV debut with his Mighty Mouse routine, part of me thinks he's still alive and laughing at us.

Interesting note- George Carlin was 38 (my age) when he hosted the show---AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Thought of the day

2008-06-30T20:47:00.003-04:00

We are probably the last generation or the next to the last generation of people who will die from natural causes.

If you think about the fast speed of technology, computers, medical science and genetics, someone somewhere will figure out how to stop aging or transfer our brains into a computer or revitalize our bodies towards immortality. The question is when and not if. If I had to guess, sometime by 2060 we'll have discovered how to stop aging and therefore people will only die from accident, disease or design (like war).

The consequences are many, the gap between class will increase even more and humans will evolve through their own design rather than by natural selection. Unfortunately I think me and my peers will just miss the chance to be ageless. Perhaps my children will, I wonder how they will honor the dead as it will become even more rare.

RIP Oogley Googley

2008-06-27T12:14:00.006-04:00

My children have just experienced their first pet death. We have had three gold fish since September and last night I noticed that the one that had bulging eyes looked white and was limp and caught in the filter. His cause of death is unknown but hey, it's a fish and I'm not doing an autopsy on the way to the toilet. My nonchalance attitude about Oogley Googley's demise was quite the opposite reaction that my children had.

The kids were brushing their teeth before bed and I informed Lynn as to the dead fish. She grabbed the net and scooped him into a container and we decided to let the kids say goodbye before flushing him away to his final watery grave.

"Jonathan and Gabriel" Lynn said as she walked into the bathroom with the corpse, "I have some bad news, Oogley Googley has died." (Try saying that with a straight face!!)

Immediately both kids started bawling and howling as if they were told I was dead or all of their Pokemon cards burned up in a freak fire. Tears streamed down their faces as they loudly lamented the news of his death. While I wasn't expecting them to be happy about the news, I was somewhat shocked about how hard they took it. Their wails were reminiscent of Muslim women at funerals in the middle east. They were bawling so loudly that it became comical to my wife and I and I even had to leave the room to laugh as Lynn hugged them close so she could smile without them seeing. I know that sounds insensitive but the complete overreaction was a sight to behold. It was just a fish after all.

Nevertheless, we consoled them as best as we could as toothpaste dribbled out of their crying mouths. Jonathan informed us that he may want to stay home the next day so he could grieve. I would've thought it was good angle shoot but his concern was genuine so I didn't answer him right away. They seemed fine this morning and they went to camp seemingly unaffected.

They expressed their wishes that if we were to get another fish that we would honor him and name him Oogley Googley II. Death hits us all differently. In some ways having fish is a good growth tool as children can learn about mortality without having true tragedy.

So, thanks for brightening our lives a little bit Oogley Googley, it was nice knowin' ya!

Oogley Googley
2007-2008
RIP