Joke Day!

So this new bar opens and the owner can't think of a name. So he decides to name the bar after the 3rd person who walks in. It takes dosen't take long and soon the 3rd customer walks in.

The owner jumps up and walks over to the girl. “You're the 3rd person to enter my bar and I'm going to name it after you.”

“Okay,” she says, “my name is Jill.”

The owner looks her over and says, “I like your legs so I'm going to name the bar 'Jill's Legs'”

The next day a bum is sitting outside the bar and a cop askes him what he's doing. He answers, “Waiting for Jill's Legs to open so I can get a drink!”

Joke Day!! (NSFW)

A married couple was lying in bed at night. The wife was trying to go to sleep while her husband was up reading a book. As he read, he had stopped for a second to finger his wife's pussy before going on back to his book. Aroused by his touch the wife gets up and takes her clothes off and the husband asks, "What are you doing?"
She responds, "I thought we just had foreplay..."
He says, "No...I needed my fingers wet so I can turn the page."

Joke Day!! X-mas edition.

All the corny X-mas related jokes you can handle....


Where does Frosty the Snowman keep his money?

In a snow bank.

What happened when Santa's cat swallowed a ball of yarn?

She had mittens.

What nationality is Santa Claus?

North Polish.

What does Santa Claus say to Mrs. Claus when he looks out the window?

Looks like "rain deer"

Why does Santa always go down the chimney?

Because it soots him.

Why does Santa like to work in his garden?

Because he likes to Hoe! Hoe! Hoe!!

Why was Santa driving around slowly in the inner city?

Because he likes the ho's, ho's, ho's.

What is invisible but smells like milk and cookies?

Santa Claus farts

Friday is joke day!

I've decided that I'm going to post a joke every Friday. If my pal Chris can post a youtube video of Saved By the Bell every Sunday on his blog, then dammit, I'm going to a joke day!

DISCLAIMER: I can't promise that the joke will be funny nor tasteful.

If you want to submit a joke for consideration, please email me at Brianklaus@comcast.net
(please note: while claiming that I can get lost money from a Ugandan prince is funny- it is not a joke.)

So, without further ado- this week's joke:

t got crowded in heaven, so, for one day it was decided only to accept people who had really had a bad day on the day they died. St. Peter was standing at the Pearly Gates and said to the first man, "Tell me about the day you died." The man said, "Oh, it was awful. I was sure my wife was having an affair, so I came home early to catch her with him. I searched all over the apartment but couldn't find him anywhere. I went out onto the balcony, we live on the 25th floor, and found this man hanging over the edge by his fingertips. I went inside, got a hammer, and started hitting his hands. He fell, but landed in some bushes. So, I got the refrigerator and pushed it over the balcony and it crushed him. The strain of the act gave me a heart attack, and I died." St. Peter couldn't deny that this was a pretty bad day, and since it was a crime of passion, he let the man in.

He then asked the next man in line about the day he died. "Well, sir, it was awful," said the second man. "I was doing aerobics on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment when I twisted my ankle and slipped over the edge. I managed to grab the balcony of the apartment below, but some maniac came out and started pounding on my fingers with a hammer. Luckily I landed in some bushes. But, then the guy dropped a refrigerator on me!" St. Peter chuckled, let him into heaven and decided he could really start to enjoy this job.

"Tell me about the day you died," he said to the third man in line.

"Okay, picture this, I'm naked, hiding inside a refrigerator...."