Trip to the Borgata poker report

For those who find my poker stories boring feel free to skip this post. This is a report I made and posted (and edited for here) for the 2+2 website.

Before I start, let me first say (so that there's no confusion) that I think that the Borgata is a great place to play poker and it is of my favorite casinos. The staff is friendly and great and I have no complaints whatsoever about the establishment itself or its employees.

The Characters:

Me- a fat guy who turns 39 the next dayy and went to go play poker yesterday to celebrate

Dave- a friend of mine who went along with him.

DB1- Douchebag number one, playing at the 100 + 20 tourney, a bit milder than the others. A man in his early 30's.

DB2- Douchebag number two, playing at a 1/2 NLHE table. A young feller with spiky hair and listening to an ipod.

DB3- Douchebag number three, playing at another 1/2 NLHE table. A guy with a foreign accent, I think it might have been French Canadian.

Supporting cast-

SGG- Sun glasses guy, almost a douchebag but mostly an insecure fish

OG1- Old guy one- an old guy in good shape who wore work out clothes. His bald head and good build made me think he looked like the Spiderman villian, The Vulture

OG2- Old guy two- wore a hat that he won for getting a royal flush (or so he told me)

OG3- Old guy three- this one had a full head of white curly hair.

BBG- Black bald guy, very nice guy who was a fish

MAW- Middle aged woman, a nice woman in her 40's who was actually a fairly solid player (altho somewhat predictable)

KMLA- Kirk Morrison look alike, a guy who resembled the poker player Kirk Morrison

8am, my wife, Lynn, got home from her night job and I left her and the kids behind as I excitedly embarked on my trip. I picked up my buddy and we drove down to the turnpike to route 76. Before getting off the blue route we listened to KYW's traffic report and heard no problems other than the usual rush hour BS (why is it always backed up at Girard, is everyone going to the zoo?!). I really should know better than to trust KYW. The traffic on 76 was about the worst I've seen in a while. By the time we got on to 76 the traffic was back up for miles due to the Penn Relays, which, of course was reported by KYW when it was too late for us.

Once we got to the bridge it was smooth sailing except for the 5, count 'em, 5 speed traps that we encountered on the AC expressway. I got lucky I wasn't pulled over as I was mostly doing 80 the whole way. The cops were out a few days early for the monthly quota I guess. We eventually made it to the Borgata just in time for the 11am tourney.

My buddy, Dave, was the one who wanted to play in the tourney and since he was the only person who could also take off a day from work to come with me so I felt obliged to play in the tourney with him. It was a $100 + 20 tourney and about 80 players played. I started off rather poorly and lost a few small pots as I watched my stack shrink to about 6500 (we started with 10K). I just couldn't hit anything and I kept getting dealt playable hands like AK and suited connectors to no avail. I also admit that my heart wasn't in the tourney, I just find them so tedious these days.

I decided that my ennui could be cured by some drinking. I asked the waitress what beers I could get and Heineken was the only free beer that wasn't swill, besides I started having fun that I could ask for a Heinie and get away without getting slapped. At my first table at the other end sat SGG. He built quite the chip stack as he was hitting some big hands and even double stacked two players at once. (hitting a flush draw of all things, they all got in on the turn) A fish with a big stack started to make me drool and I probably ended calling with some questionable hands just so I could get in a pot with him.

The first of which was when he made a min raise from UTG (under the gun, first to act preflop) and I was in the big blind with A4. He seemed only capable of min raising instead of making normal 3-4X's raises and even did as such after the flop, so i couldn't gleam any info from his small raise. It was folded to the SB who also called and I defended with my suited ace. The flop came A Q 4 rainbow and the SB checked and I fired out a bet of about 3/4 of the pot. SGG min raised and I just called. The turn was another queen and my 2 pair became counterfeited. I checked to SGG who put out only the minimum!! Based on pot odds alone I had to call, I think if he put in a pot sized bet I would have to get away from the hand. The river was a third queen which gave me a full house. I figured that it was going to be a chop but I threw in a pot sized bet anyways, if he raised me I would have called and hoped he didn't have AA or a Q. He called my bet begrudgingly and tabled his KK!! I scooped in a decent pot and my stack was healthy again.

He made some comments about how I sucked out on him but honestly, why was he in the pot after the flop? I ignored his comments and let him play in his fishy way.

Shortly after I was moved to another table and saw that they had quite a few big stacks including the guy to my right- DB1, who was the table chip leader.

I sat down and noticed DB1's huge stack and figured that he must be an aggressive player to get such a big stack that early. So my first hand I get dealt AK and I'm UTG+1 and DB1 was UTG. He puts in a raise so instead of flat calling I put in a reraise. I figure that my stack won't be effective very long with the antes and blinds climbing so fast. I was prepared to go to war against the big stack with my AK suited if need be. It gets folded around to DB1 and he reluctantly mucks. He mutters that he had pocket tens.

I immediately, say, "Really? You had me beat but it was close to a coin flip." He then gets incredibly indignant at my comment. "What?! You're an idiot. Why would you reraise me with AK or AQ?!" he continued to berate me for my "poor playing skills" (based on one hand!) for a good minute and I just ignored him. Unfortunately just 3 hands later I defended my big blind (to yet another min raise!) with A9 and flopped a set of 9's on a Q99 board. The money got in on the turn and I was all but drawing dead when the villain tables his QQ. C'est la vie I thought as I got up to go to the cash games. I overheard DB1 as I was leaving, "Stupid fish got what he deserved!" I almost stopped to say a few things but I only had 3 beers in me and thought better of it.

They opened a new table of 1/2 NLHE when I put my name in, so 9 of us all sat down to play together. I continued to order more Heinies and was starting to feel a bit looser. I debated trying to play LAG (loose aggressive style) but questioned my ability when I kept getting reraised by OG1. OG1 was a crafty old bastard (The Vulture!!) and I would have taken him on more if my spider sense was working. I did however end up winning a decent 120 pot from the guy to my right. It was probably my biggest pot of the night and it was just a matter of having 2 pair to his TPTK. Right after winning that pot my buddy came over from busting out at the tourney and sat down at another 1/2 table. He soon called me over as there was an empty seat next to him. I was actually enjoying the table I was at but, alas, friendship called and I switched tables. I was up about $75 at this point.

By this point I was inebriated enough to start my silly drunk guy routine. I am bipolar so I'm apt to say weird things by nature anyways so when I get some alcohol in me I tend to be jokey and silly. Most of the players at the table didn't seem to mind and laughed at most of my jokes. (altho to Dave's chagrin and embarrassment) I also got friendly with a lot of the staff and dealers. I recall a tall black waitress with HUGE boobs that liked to sing as she delivered drinks. I felt she was a kindred spirit and I encouraged her singing and told her that and asked if she took requests. Unfortunately, she wasn't familiar with Phish or Umphrey's McGee and she continued with her R&B singing. I also remember telling every dealer that I had that they were the best dealer in the world after every pot that I won. I didn't win any big pots or stacked anyone the whole night but I did manage to win a lot of little pots.

One strange thing that did occur was that a hand got heads up to me and Dave. The flop had two spades so I remarked in a joking way that "I should check my hand for spades." and I then peeked at my hole cards again. When I looked up I saw that the turn and river were dealt. (the board was J T 8 T J) I blurted out, "What?! What happened?!" The dealer replied that I said that "we would check it down" and I guess the dealer figured out that me and my buddy were friends and thought we would soft play each other. Dave and I looked at each other and didn't know what to do. After some debate we decided to play it from the river and since I had a Jack I threw in a small bet. My friend called with a T and I guess I lost out on a big pot due to the dealer's mistake/mishearing me. I didn't mind so much since it was my friend after all but I did politely inform the dealer that I don't soft play and don't think anyone else should.

A few hands later DB2 sat down with his head phones on so loud you could hear the music from the headphones.

Some new players joined us at this point. OG2 came to the table and he was an older gentlemen that I recognized from the tourney. He was wearing what I call a cabbie/paperboy hat. The type of hat that you see in movies in the 20's where the paperboy is yelling, "Extra, Extra!! Read all about it!" or the cab drivers that say, "Where to mac?" also where them. I actually own one myself, so I complimented him on his hat and he then went on tell me that the Borgata gave it to him when he hit a royal flush. He kind of reminded me of Studs Terkel and shortly after he came to our table I noticed he was napping.

BBG was also there and was donking it up and playing most hands. I chatted him up and he was a super nice guy. Unfortunately for me he would get lucky every time we got involved in a hand together and would take my chips and then donk them off in the next hand to another player. The dynamic of the table seemed fine and dandy at this point, we had OG2 napping, BBG was creating some action and I was Mr. Chatty Fun Guy. That was until DB2 got into a hand with BBG...

I was on the button and DB2 was in middle position and it was folded or limped around to him. He raised it to $12 and my buddy and I folded and so did the SB. BBG in BB called for $10 more and then the limpers folded. The flop came:

534

BBG checked, DB2 threw out a pot sized bet and BBG called

J on the turn

BBG checked, DB2 threw out a pot sized bet and BBG called

river was a blank (maybe a ten?)

BBG had less than the pot left but still checked, DB2 raised enough to put him all in and BBG called right away.

DB2 tabled KK, BBG tabled 62o and scooped the pot.

DB2 went quiet at first and then a moment later mumbled, "You called with that?"

BBG- "Yes I did"

DB1-"You called my preflop raise with that?!- Nice play!" He said in a sarcastic tone.

Personally I really hate this. Yes it's obvious to most of us at the table that BBG is a donk. Yes, he called with a bad hand preflop with stacks that don't warrant a call there. Yes, he got lucky and took all of your chips.

I was thinking, "BUT FOR PETE'S SAKE YOU WANT HIM TO DO THAT!! SO STFU AND LET THE FISH PLAY THAT WAY AND STOP TAPPING THE GLASS YOU ASSMUNCH!!" but didn't say it.

DB2 continued to insult BBG for the next 3-4 hands and I couldn't take it any more. But instead of confronting DB2, I turned to BBG and said, "Forget him, he's just angry you got his chips. You can play however you want, don't let him tell him you otherwise." BBG said, "Damn right! It's my money that's backing up my bets and I can put my money in whenever I damn well please."

And BBG couldn't be anymore correct there. I wish douchebags with thin skin would cut out the crap. IMO, you can't be that all great of player if you're going to criticize someone's play.

The mood of the table really deflated after that outburst. Plus, having not eaten all day and starting to feel the pinch of drinking on an empty stomach my buddy and I racked our chips, cashed out and went downstairs to the Panda for some orange flavored chicken. Stretched our legs and went back up to play some more.

At this point I had made up the money I lost in the tourney and I was maybe up an additional $15 on top of that.

With our bellies full, my buddy and I managed to get another table together right away. I sat down and was immediately big blind. it was limped to DB3, a mid thirties man who with a foreign accent. I'm bad at most accents but if I had to guess, I'd say he was French Canadian. He put in a raise and the SB, who looked sort of like a sickly Kirk Morrison called. I had 84o and then asked the dealer that since it's my birthday, could I take back my big blind until I get a better hand. The dealer immediately replied, "Look pal, this ain't Denny's!" Which I thought was a rather clever reply. A blond middle aged woman called the raise and off to the flop they went.

8 4 2

KMLA checked
MAW checked
DB3 put in a bet of about $15
MAW folded
KMLA called

turn A

KMLA bet $30
DB3 called

river was a blank (J?)

KMLA bet $40 and DB3 acted all indignant that he was bet into again (which told me he had a monster) and put in a min raise. KMLA called after a moment of thought and waited for DB3 to show his cards. DB3 then turned over an 8 and asked, "Ees deese gud enuff?" KMLA flipped over his AK and said, "Sorry, no." And then DB3 paused a moment and then flipped over his second card and said, "Oh? Well, then how 'bout dees wan?", his second card was another 8 which meant he had the third nuts.

KMLA's jaw hit the floor (as did most everyone at the table.)

"You slowed rolled me? Like that?!! Wow, you are incredibly rude!"

DB3 tried to defend himself, "What what? I just try to have a leetle fun wif you! Deese wan two game is soo boring!"

KMLA then retorted that he was playing poker long enough to know what a slow roll was and he then moved to another seat on the table away from the douche bag. I commiserated with KMLA and had it in my mind that I would slow roll the muther f'er back if I got the chance.

So after the slow roll Dave actually got heads up with DB3 and the reverse situation occurred where he had a set of fives and the douche had TPTK. (top pair top kicker) But, alas, Dave doesn't think of such things and didn't slow roll him. The table itself turned out to be VERY nitty. (playing cautiously) I've never seen such tight play at a 1/2 table before. We even had another old guy asleep at the table (OG3). As result I decided to try to play a LAG style and see if I could start running over the table.

Of course, the best intentions never seem to go as planned. It seemed that whenever I would start pushing my hands someone would wake up with a real hand and would push back. Considering how tight the table was I had to give the reraises their due and I started to bleed chips. Just my luck too as I soon got pocket Kings UTG and bet them preflop figuring my loose image would get a callers or reraisers.

nope, everyone folded

I start getting tilty from this, so next hand, I get 69 UTG+1 and raise. Of course I get 4 callers....

Flop:

8 5 2

I throw out a bet and get 2 callers including MAW

turn:

A

Now I have a flush draw on top of my gut shot- woo hoo- but I still wasn't liking the fact I had 2 callers- dummy me I check. MAW bets 1/2 pot only. OG3 folds and I call.

river was a glorious 7

Now I realize that I played this hand rather poorly from the start but I got lucky and got the best card I could as there's no way she's putting me on a straight. I throw a bet of about 3/4 of the pot and MAW calls with her AKo.

I immediately tabled my straight and at first she didn't even see the straight but conceded and politely told me "nice hand".

I was now back to even for that session and the rest of the game I couldn't create any action or get any decent hands. Dave actually busted out to DB3 when his nut flush got cooled when DB3's 2 pair made a full house on the turn. I started to feel bad that Dave was just wandering around the casino while I played trying to get a decent pot. So despite being down a bit I pulled up stakes and left. Overall a loser for the day- -$35.

We stopped at White House on the way back and I scarfed down a "Special" in the car. While no cops were on the expressway, I was amazed at how many deer I saw on the side of the road. I think I saw at least 50+ deer on the way back and it made me very twitchy as you know how they just love to jump at you and destroy your car at 70mph.


It was a fun day despite the douchebags, I just don't get some people sometimes. Nevertheless I made a few new friends at the tables and got to play poker.

Riding a wave into a wall

After tipping a dealer free money, you'd think Karma would repay me back and allow my trip to Vegas end well. But, alas, I am not Earl of TV fame and such cosmic balances don't apply to my life. Once I walked away from the Let it Ride table, I figured my winnings were just shy of $2200. I knew that I shouldn't be stupid in my remaining few hours and not risk much more than $200. But my mood started to turn sour from a very frustrating ordeal in obtaining my storage crate to ship back to work, a fairly bad meal (although comped!!) and a nagging cold that started to develop. I probably shouldn't have played anything at that point and instead just go to my room, masterbate and go to bed early.

Dummy me went to the poker room back at the Bellagio. They had 1/2 again thankfully and I went up again after a quick start. Then I just sort of petered out. I kept getting hands that were excellent draws like open ended straight draws and the nut flush draws, but they always missed so I was losing money fast. Then I just got plain cooled when my set of 4's lost out to an AK flush draw that hit a final heart on the river. My intial buy in was gone. I considered rebuying as the night was somewhat still early but reconsidered when I thought about the following:

The players at the table seemed to be better in skill than previous nights although not unbeatable.
I was in a bad mood and getting sicker.
I was steaming from the suck out.
$2000 is still an excellent amount of money to go home with.

While possible that I could have rewon my buy in and more, I'm glad I walked away when I did. I think I've learned better discipline this trip and while it's very certain that I could've made better decisions along the way to maximize wins and minimize losses, I am still proud of myself for keeping the big picture in mind and not risking more than $300 and usually $200 at any one point. I kept focused most of the time I played and I identified players who were worse than me and tried to isolate them. Overall I give myself a solid B+ for the way I played in vegas.

I went back to my room and tried to get some sleep as I had a morning flight back to Philly. My cold at that point was driving me nuts as my sinuses made me feel like my head was going to cave in. Not to mention that annoying nasal drip was making my throat sweel like a balloon. I ended up with less than 4 hours of sleep. I was happy, however, with my last ride down in the "inclinators", the Luxor's elevators that go sideways and up and down at the same time since the building is pyramid shaped. The inclinators are not very fun to ride when tired, sick, drunk or stone cold sober for that matter as well.

Once back in Philly I came home to some upsetting news which I can't even repeat here (strange for me, yes, I know) so my high from the trip came to an abrupt end. I can describe the feeling as surfing a great wave and instead of gliding into shore you hit a brick wall. Perhaps next time I'll keep the money and let the dealer cry, Karma is a cruel mistress.

Things start to get weird

The third day in Vegas wasn't as profitable and fun as the second but I still continued my winning streak and I had a nice dinner with an old high school friend I hadn't seen in 20 years who was now living in Vegas. The show had run all day so I was feeling quite drained but I managed to get in an hour of poker before meeting Rob. The players again at the Luxor were quite bad. I only managed a small win of 50 dollars.

Dinner with Rob was very pleasant. I wasn't very close with Rob but I always remembered him to be a nice guy, I wish I had spent more time with him back than as he was a joy to spend dinner with last week. After he dropped me off, I went straight back to the poker tables and managed to win yet another "best hand" and an extra $100 when my Queens full of tens held up. The game itself was very wild compared to the night before as there was a very loose aggressive and drunk player present who was splashing chips and making raises with nine deuce off suit (and making hands!). I tightened up and waited and managed to isolate him in a hand and win a decent sized pot. Then 3 hands later he managed to suck out on me and hit his gut shot straight draw so I lost the money I had won from him. The real shame was when he got stacked by another player and left.

Nevertheless, I walked away a $300 winner for the day if you included the best hand win. That put me at $1800 for the trip. I felt great and nothing was going to bring me down- hahahahahahaha!!

Okay, so maybe I wasn't that manic, but it's hard to contain yourself when you keep winning. I was certainly having a good time and remained undaunted when some weird things started to happen the next day.

The next day I was waiting for the show to start so since I was in the Mandalay Bay casino, I decided to kill 45 minutes playing some stupid poker variant where you play against the casino. It was called Crazy 4 poker and despite not really knowing what I was doing, I still managed to win $220 playing it. While that in of itself wasn't weird, it did lead me to see another game that interested me called Let it Ride. I didn't play it that morning but I did make a note to come back and try it later.

That day at the convention, a man came up to my booth and started to give me a small amount of grief in a teasing manner. I immediately recognized as the man who made his straight when I made my full house and won the best hand promo and I took close to $200 from him on that hand. I nervously gave him lots of free samples and whatever I could grab to make him forget that I had taken his money. He was actually nice about it and I may have him as a customer some day. Even still, it's weird when take money from strangers and see them later in your professional life.

The show finally ended and I knew I had to wait a bit for them to deliver my crate. As a result, I made my way back to the casino and tried that Let It Ride that interested me. Again, without really knowing what I was doing, I actually managed to go up about $70. I was having the best dumb luck of my life this trip or so I thought...

Just then a guy walked up to the table. He was the sort of guy who had douche-bag written all over his face. He was dressed in a black suit with a white T-shirt underneath. He had lots of gold chains dangling from his neck and his black hair was slicked back with lots of mousse. I'm not one to racially profile but if I had to guess, I would have said that he was one of those young Iranian men who loved to go clubbing. What's weirder is that he was rolling his carry-on suitcase through the casino. He was just dropped off and fresh from landing at the airport. He almost walked completely by but stopped at our table and plunked a hundred dollar bill. He placed his bets and the amazing happened- he hit a royal flush and won $25,000.

First Goddammed hand of his trip and this lucky fucker wins $25,000. After the excitemet died down the dealer presented him with a full rack of $1000 chips. I was in awe. She also gave him some lesser denomination chips like $25 and $100- obviously meant to tip her. After all, these dealers work mainly for tips and dream of when they finally deal that big winner and get a nice pay day.

The guy takes out 3 $100 chips and give me one and one to the other 2 players at the table. "Thank you! That's very generous!" I quickly said and then he took his racks and left- stiffing the dealer. The dealer became visibly upset and was holding back the tears. Without much thought I then tossed her the $100 chip and said, "Thanks for the excellent service." The other 2 players followed suit and did the same thing. While tearing up she thanked us over and over again. I was just about to cash out my $120 winnings when the pit boss came over and told us that even though he normall can't do as such, he would comp us all for a free dinner for tipping the dealer like that when she got stiffed. I was proud of myself for doing the right thing.

to be continued...

A good day

The next day of my Vegas trip turned out to be a very good one. I woke up completely refreshed and excited to play some more poker. I wasn't expected to start the trade show until 3:30 that day, so I had plenty of time to try my luck at the tables. I made my way to the Belagio again and to my immediate dismay I found out that they only had a $2/$5 NL table running and no $1/$2 tables. I decided against my better judgment to take a shot with a short stack but this turned out to be lucky thing for me.

I sat down with $300 and proceded to get pocket Kings, pocket Queens, pocket Aces and pocket Jacks within the first 10 minutes. Not only did this put me up rather quickly but it also led the other players to avoid me in a lot of pots which enabled me to actually win a few pots uncontested. I was also amazed at how the level of play was no better than the play found at the lower stake games in Vegas. I guess Vegas tends to get more touristy players than AC or other places get. The horrible decisions made by most players was truly a great way to make money if you played tight and straight forward and focused. While it was true that the deck was hitting me pretty well I felt that I played my best poker in quite a while. I played for a good 3 and half hours until I realized that I needed to get some lunch and make my way over to the convention. I was up a good 400 dollars or more when I announced to the table that I was playing my last hand. I was dealt pocket nines and was on the button. The under the gun raiser made a more than usual raise which led me to believe that he had a big pocket pair like aces or kings. A bad player from middle position made the call so I decided to call as well and see if I could hit my set and maybe stack the guy. The flop truly was a great flop for me- 983 rainbow. I had top set and the original raiser was betting big into me. Ultimately, we ended up all in and I raked in a huge pot of $1500 when my trip 9's held against his pocket Kings. It was my biggest pot ever and I was walking on air during the convention.

The convention itself was also the biggest I've attended for the type of show it was. There was a lot of students which really do me no good business-wise except to get my name out but I did make a lot of decent contacts and I hope to see some business from it. Even as trade shows drain the life out of you I still managed to let my big win carry me through the 3 hour shift and I dropped into a restaurant on the way back to my hotel. It was called RM Seafood (the RM stood for Rick Moonen) and it was probably the best sushi I've ever had, the Artic Char was absolutely and incredibly delecious.

After a quick change of clothes I planned on going back to the Belagio, but saw that the Luxor actually had a 1/2 table going. I figured I'd save myself a cab ride and took a seat there. Again, with the exception of a few decent players, the level of play was rather bad and I quickly went up and was making some money. They had a special promotion where once an hour the highest valued hand (with some stipulations) would win $100. During my time spent there, I managed to get Aces full of fives and it held up as the best hand for the remaining 50 minutes. That combined with the $200 I won playing made me an $1500 winner for the day.

Up $1500 with a great meal in my belly, I slept like a baby that night. Blissfully unaware of any problems at home I had a great day where the only thing I wish for was my wife by my side to share it with.

to be continued...

What happens in Vegas gets blogged about in Vegas

Considering how much I love poker, it's kind of amazing that I haven't played in Vegas in the last 5 years. The last time I was able to get here was 2003, just months before I started playing regularly. Instead, I've languished as the trade shows I have to attend are in places like Indianapolis and Nashville. I was overjoyed last year when I saw that I was finally getting to go to Vegas this February.

And here I am.

Not after a arduous trip, mind you, it's never easy. I did myself the disservice of booking a 6:15AM flight out of Philly. That meant I had to wake up at 3:30AM. Of course, I was manic the night before so I barely got 3 hours of sleep. The flight itself was okay if not for the extremely noxious and gassy passenger located some where near me. I'm not joking when I say that there was a 2 hour period where you smelled a nasty fart every 5 minutes. He or she was laying them low too, so there was no warnings, just an awful odor coming from somewhere. As a result I didn't get to nap on the plane as I desired,

Fortunately the Luxor hotel was able to check me in early and I freshened up and decided to get a bite to eat. I ate at their buffet but they were only serving breakfast and my body clock was wanting lunch. Usually I have no problems eating breakfast foods for lunch or dinner (or "Brinner" as Turk from Scrubs would call it.), but I was just in the mood for a hamburger. Not to be daunted I ate my omlete and bacon and made my way to see what the poker room at the Luxor looked like.

It was maybe 7 tables tops and only one table was playing. I hoped it was a cash game but it was the end of their sit n go from the morning. It appeared that the Luxor only runs small sit n go's as they can't seem to get enough interest in cash games. Maybe they run some in the evening. I decided being tired and not wanting to go anywhere that I would just sign up for a $32 sit n go for noon. 22 ended up playing and the level of play was mostly very bad. But the tourney helped those players as it went very fast in blinds and thatstructure allows for luck. Even still, I managed to stay alive until I finally got too short stacked and had to push with Ace Ten and lost to a person who won with K rag. It paid out to 3 so I missed the money. C'est la vie.

After setting up my booth I skipped lunch and went back to my room to nap. For whatever reasons I couldn't fall asleep and at around 6pm Vegas time I got up and headed to the Bellagio for some cash poker. The Bellagio is the nicest casino you'll find and the poker room was rather ornate. After sitting down at a 1/2 no limit Hold 'em table I noticed that my ass was literally 5 feet away from the doors to "Bobby's Room". I turned around and looked inside and saw the nice comfy chairs reserved for the highest limits. The big famous pros including Phil Ivey and Doyle Brunson will play their high stakes games when they are in town. I guess no one was around as the room was empty. Still, I felt appreciative of the history and felt a little star struck.

I managed toget up a hundred or so until I got cooled when my pocket two's hit their set on the flop of a limped pot (A82 rainbow). Me and another player got all in on the turn when a second ace filled me with a full house. I figured he had trip aces but just about the only reasonable hand that beat me (A8) was what he had. I rebought and managed to double up an hour later with pocket Kings vs. someone's two pair on a board of QT3 (I also had two pair when a the turn brought a second 3) and played cauiously until I felt really tired and went to bed only down by 20 bucks. I got about 11 hours of sleep and woke up today refreshed and ready to play some more poker.

to be continued...

Boredom in poker is often a good sign that you're playing it correctly

This past weekend, my monthly poker group had its tournament of champions game. Basically, throughout the year, we throw an extra $5 on top of every buy-in. The pot gets built up fairly quickly and the points leader for the year gets 10% and then we have a tournament to play for the remainder of the pot. This year we had 7 players and 2 spots to be paid.

Since there was no rebuys or add-ons I played a very tight game. Most of the game, I folded more than usual preflop and folded to most bets postflop when I had medium strength like top pair good kicker. The end result was a fairly boring game for me. Somehow I coasted, never amassing a huge amount of chips, to the final 3. I then stole a few pots and got lucky a few times until the 2 other stacks went into a all in. The bigger stack had AJ while the smaller stack had AQ. I was cheering for the jack the whole way and was pleased to see a jack spike the river card and make for a suck out.

Since our stacks were almost even at that point we decided to chop the pot and we each got about $340. The honor of TOC winner on paper went to Tom as he had 7,000 more in chips (out of 350,000) but I didn't care in the slightest. My recent heads-up performances have been abysmal and filled with bad luck. I was more than happy to take a bigger guaranteed cut than to risk getting less to try and get $470.

Tonight, I am playing in another no rebuy or addon tourney but the blinds escalate alot quicker so I don't know if I can stay bored for as long. Perhaps my recent depression will keep me in an ennui and allow me to play better?

Feeding all my addictions at once

Last night I got to watch the Phillies win their first NL Pennant in 15 years and win some decent scratch at a poker game at the same time, not to mention I also got to drink some decent beer. The only thing missing was getting a BJ under the table. (and since Lynn reads this, I'll say that I wish it was her) Usually, I wouldn't mix everything up like that. Especially considering you need to concentrate to play poker effectively. But I was going to miss this month's tournament and was jonesing for some poker in a bad way. I am glad I went as the deck was hitting me hard in a good way most of the night.

You don't need to concentrate all that much when you flop trips 3 times in an hour, get the nut flush, recieve pocket Aces once and Kings twice. You basically put the money in the middle and hope that your hand holds up, which it did repeatedly last night. I would have been an even bigger winner had I not run into a few cooler spots towards the end. Nonetheless, I had managed to fold my way out of those spots, which is a good thing as I minimized my losses. I admit at times when I'm stuck or just break even for the night I'm more apt to call with weaker holdings out of frustration and/or boredom.

One of the funnier moments came when the host, "Lottery Larry", wasn't paying attention to the game and looked up while they were replaying Shane Victorino's grand slam in the divisional series 2 weeks ago. He pumped his fist and clapped his hand and let out a loud, "Yes! Home run!!" We all then laughied at his misunderstanding. I suppose the fact that the Phillies were in their home white uniforms and the Brewers being on the field didn't tip him off as to the fact it was a replay/flashback. Of course this led to some teasing the rest of the night. Everytime Fox would show a flashback we would scream something like, "Hey Larry! Look Dave Hollins hit a home run against Greg Maddux! Greg looks like he lost some weight!" or "Oh NO! Kirk Gibson hit a home run to win the game!!" Even when they weren't playing flashback clips we still made jokes like Del Ennis had hit a homer while he the TV went black and white.

Men are brutal, one sign of weakness and the rest of the pack will pounce.

The Wheel of Misfortune

We travel through the bulk of our lives blissfully thinking that we are in control of our destiny. To some extent that feeling is true. Most hard work gets rewarded and most bad deeds get punished. However, the system of karma may not be quite as balanced as we perceive it to be. There are forces beyond our control that can radically or subtly (or somewhere in between) alter our destiny. Despite our best subconscious feeling that we can control our surroundings, the fickle finger of fate may strike at any moment and remind us that we are not in control. Most call this force God, as a poker player I call it variance.

Everyday, before we start out to run our lives, we have to give the wheel of misfortune a spin. Most things are unlikely to occur when you look at your chances on a one on one basis. It's extremely unlikely that I'll have a brain aneurysm today and it may be a better chance that I'll have a bad car crash but that's still very unlikely. It's even unlikely on any particular day for me get a flat tire. Let's say the odds are about 500 to 1 of that happening on any particular day. Any good gambler would love those odds. The problem is that we have to spin that wheel for all sorts of unlikely happenings often enough that it becomes likely for something unlikely to occur sometime in your life. We suffer small accidents that are more likely like that flat tire all the time. We have our stubbed toes and spilled milk to prove that variance effects our destiny, even if in a minor way. But we don't cry over them due to their relative insignificance.

It's big freak accidents or horrible diseases and disorders like MS and cancer that really change the path of our destinies. That flat tire can suddenly happen while you're driving 70 mph on the highway and cause your car to jump the median and straight onto an opposing car. A tornado can hit your house. You might wake up and spin the wheel and have a cell mutate into cancerous cell and you won't even know about it until 2 years later until you have 5 tumors in your colon. (That is if you don't get struck by lightning first.)

A good poker player does two things about variance- First, he does his best to reduce variance and put himself in situations to have the odds be more in his favor. He'll play better starting hands or use position or tells for when a bluff would be better utilized. The second thing is that he accepts that variance happens and understand it is a part of the game. If the poker player receives a bad beat from the lucky donk, he understands that such things will happen and stays emotionally calm and avoid "tilt" to get back in the game. (or he at least tries) Of course this should also apply in your view of variance as well. We try to attain more favorable odds by doing things like eating better, creating better medicines, not smoking, checking to make sure our tire pressure is within the proper psi range, and getting express written consent from major league baseball. The wiser of us also accepts variance and knows it is a part of life. If we survive what bad luck comes our way, it's best to get back in the game with emotional calm. It's best to do now what you want to do because you never know what the wheel will land on.

I suppose this is just thinly veiled carpe diem advice. As an athiest I know that no matter what we do that in the grand scheme of things it all means naught. But you can either sit around and wait for death with doom and gloom or at least have some fun while you're waiting. There's a reason the small phrase "carpe diem" survived in latin. It's old and it's true. That truth will survive as long as there is self awareness.

Played okay, lost anyways

Last Saturday I set some goals for myself and I think I did a good job of following those goals. Nonetheless my luck didn't hold out for me towards the end and I missed the money and came in 4th place. The night was interesting to say the least as there was a blow up between two players and for whatever reasons everyone except one guy had the worst gas. It was akin to the beans scene in Blazing Saddles. Duane- crack a window next time!!

So, despite the chemical warfare and unfriendly argument I managed to play decently. Let's take a look at my goals and review-

Goal #1: Fold trouble hands like Ace Ten and lower, King Queen, and Queen Jack from any position except the button and blinds while my stack to blinds ratio (aka "M") is 20:1 or better.

I did really well at this. The exception was one hand where I played KJ suited and lost a decent pot for just the same reasons I shouldn't come in out of position with trouble hands like that. Aside from that I folded alot of hands that I usually donk around with largely because I'm bored. I was happy with my discipline. I ultimately lost with a QJ but it was only 4 handed and my M was about 6 so with one limper and a caller and me in the big blind I took an all in shove stab. Got called by KT and was on my way.

Goal#2: Use my position to take a pot from one of the LAG players.

Well I did this, kinda. The player was more of a LAP than a LAG (loose passive vs loose aggressive) but the big LAG at the game was directly to my left so there wasn't much opportunity to use my position on him. Not to mention the fact that he's really been playing tighter lately and may not even be as Laggy as before. In the hand, I stole using solely position and "air" (aka a bad hand that wasn't going to improve.) The board was perfectly set to make him believe I had a hand better than his. I got a big pot out of that steal and I may even had gotten a bad call out of him later on in the game as he figured me for bluffing again.

Goal #3: Play to win, not to cash. This may sound weird to some of you, but it means to play aggressively enough to amass chips to get a better chance of taking 1st place money and not play passively to just make the money.

Hard to say- for a while there we were all playing cautiously. when we got 5 and 4 handed. I started to bluff a bit more with some limited success but Ican't say I was as aggressive as I wanted to be. Part of the problems, in my opinion was that the blinds were capped too early. Part of my game is use the escalating blinds to my advantage and steal, steal, steal. I was in that range of 10-20 M (blinds to stack ratio) which is frustrating as you're too deep stacked for all in steals but pot committed rather quickly after coming into a pot. I will have to analyze this goal further later.

Goal#4: Don't try to trap unless I have a dominated board in which case most bets will scare others away from the pot. In other words I may even bet out if I flop trips if the board is right. Obviously, if I flop a full house or nut flush, I'm better off letting people "catch up" a little to get more money.

I did get an unexpected full house (sevens full of fives) out of the big blind and tried to trap on the river to a usually aggressive bettor. He unfortunately missed completely and checked behind without a bluff. Aside from that, I got pocket Kings 4 or 5 times that night and played all but one straight forward and won some decent sized pots as a result. It pays to get your money in loose games when you have the goods, don't screw around if you don't have to. Goal accomplished here.

Goal#5: Act slower and be more patient in order to think more methodically about what hands people have and what bets would be best to make or not make.

I think I did this with the exception of one or two times. I am getting more patient and analytical and I was happy with my improvement last game.

In summary my concentration was up and despite some unfortunate side stuff, the game was enjoyable and I was happy with the way I played despite my lack of reward for doing so. Better luck in my cash game coming up at the end of the month!

Tourney goals for tomorrow

It's been a mediocre year for me in playing tournaments. I'm slightly under break even for the year. I'd be ahead if I didn't have the heads up meltdowns. I need to refocus and start setting some goals. Setting goals for the short term in poker isn't necessarily attainable. Luck and variance plays more of a factor in just one or two tournaments than skill does. However, I wish to set some goals for tomorrow's tournament because it will at least give me something to focus on. Obviously, I play better when I concentrate more and right now I need any edge I can get.

Goal #1: Fold trouble hands like Ace Ten and lower, King Queen, and Queen Jack from any position except the button and blinds while my stack to blinds ratio (aka "M") is 20:1 or better.

Goal#2: Use my position to take a pot from one of the LAG players.

Goal #3: Play to win, not to cash. This may sound weird to some of you, but it means to play aggressively enough to amass chips to get a better chance of taking 1st place money and not play passively to just make the money.

Goal#4: Don't try to trap unless I have a dominated board in which case most bets will scare others away from the pot. In other words I may even bet out if I flop trips if the board is right. Obviously, if I flop a full house or nut flush, I'm better off letting people "catch up" a little to get more money.

Goal#5: Act slower and be more patient in order to think more methodically about what hands people have and what bets would be best to make or not make.

Easier said than done, but Sunday I'll go over this list and see how I did.

Shuffle up and deal.

I hate poker

well....not really, but it sure has been frustrating lately when I keep getting cold cards.

I mentioned that I played poorly in a tourney last Saturday. My demise came when my AK met pocket queens and didn't improve. Last night at Lottery Larry's tournament of champions game, I had deja vu when I was short stacked and was faced with 5 limpers and I was in the small blind with jack seven suited. My hand was meaningless as there was 25% of my stack in the pot including the blinds and if I could use my short stack while it still had fold equity I could make a push and pick up a nice pot. Even if I get called by one of the limpers It's very likely I have 2 "live cards". It's doubtful I was facing a big pair as no one but the first limper would try to foray into a limped pot with a big pair. So I made it look like I had a good hand and pushed all in and the big blind, the only person that I had no reasonable read on, woke up with pocket queens and went all in himself. The others folded and even though I technically hit a full house (the board was 88833), he had a better full house and I was on the rail.

I can at least claim that my early night was due to grief. My wife called me just as the tournament started to let me know that our last goldfish, Michael, had finally succumbed to whatever ailment his two compatriots had fallen to.

RIP
Michael
2007-2008

While the fish were dying at my house, the fish seemed to be thriving at Lottery Larry's house. I am reluctant to mention hands and names as Lottery Larry has recently taken passages from my blog without permission and put it into his trip report. (he'll be hearing from my lawyers Dewey, Phuc M, Goode, & Howe) I don't wish to publicly call anyone a bad player and criticize their hands. Especially since I am no big shakes myself. I like to think I am always improving in poker, but I most certainly don't make all the right moves nor claim to be an expert. I'll just say that worst hand kept winning. Over and over and over again. Even in the low limit cash game I played in afterwards, I had my aces cracked by 67 with a CAPPED PREFLOP POT! (in other words, the bets were raised and reraised 4 times- the most allowed.)

I can't complain all that much, I had fun joking around and I didn't lose very much money. The best line of the night came from the razz specialist, Dan. A player came over to the cash game from the tourney and started complaining that he was knocked out on the bubble. He started playing alot of crappy hands like 10 4 off suit and was winning big pots. He then claimed in defense of his bad play-

"I was a two-thirds favorite to win that hand on the bubble and I lost, so why should I play good hands if that doesn't seem to work?"

Dan quickly remarked, "Because two out of three times you aren't going out on the bubble?"

ahhh...nerd humor...

High Stakes Poker will be back for season 5!

I can't seem to find the official confirmation but according to several blogs from poker players and 2+2 it appears that the show High Stakes Poker will tape it's fifth season in September and air on GSN in February. Originally the option for HSP wasn't renewed and the World Poker Tour was also let go on the Game show Network. It looked bleak for poker on TV as the only shows that were being produced was a time buy in Poker After Dark airing at 2:30AM, The World Series on ESPN and the Heads Up challenge that airs once a year on NBC.

PAD did fill the void of the lack of cash game play by airing a week of cash games last week but it's regular format is a 6 person sit and go. I think that cash is ultimately more interesting to watch and play than a tournament where increasing blinds create variance and dictate action. I suppose the TV execs want the all in action but I think if done well with a good commentator cash games can make for a more interesting show.

Why GSN had the change of heart? I have no idea, but nonetheless, I'm glad it will be back. I will also personally hunt down males aged 18-35 with neilson boxes and make them watch the show. I should've done this years ago for Arrested Development and Firefly.

Rooting for the hotness

The World Series of Poker Main Event is down to the final 3 tables of 27 players. The only two "recognizable" names are actress and poker hostess Tiffany Michelle and known pro Brandon Cantu. I can't say that I knew of Tiffany Michelle other than her hosting on camera for Pokernews.com. I have no idea if she is a good player or not. Quite frankly, with past winners like Jerry Yang and Jamie Gold, I don't think it will be required. Apparently she has some minor acting roles to go along with her poker hosting duties.

While it isn't definite, it is very possible for her to make the final table with her currently being in 3rd place out the 27. Sure, she could have an epic meltdown like me last Saturday but her odds are good she'll make the final table. She'll be the 1st woman to make the final 9 since Barbara Enright did it for the 1st time in 1995. This year they are taking a 4 month break after the final 9 is set so ESPN can air the final table 2 days after showing all of their coverage up til then. That way they can keep the winner more suspenseful. The extra media coverage will also make the final 9 stars instead of unknowns (and more marketable). If Tiffany makes it she will have the spotlight thrust on her the brightest.

Which in my opinion is a very good thing. In some ways it's a shame that her good looks will be a part of that fact but it will perhaps encourage women to not be so intimidated at the poker table. Plus the extra ratings will be a very good thing for those who enjoy watching poker on television as lately the ratings have not been stellar. Shows like High Stakes Poker haven't been renewed and I miss that show terribly.

So if a nice looking female can play decently or get lucky and thus gets some extra press for poker, it's all good. Poker could use some more positive stories after two big cheating scandals in Ultimate Bet and Absolute Poker. (look for 60 minutes this September) Plus it's better than watching Phil Hellmuth throw another tantrum and berate players.

Heads up melt downs

This past weekend's poker tourney I cruised into the final two with a 7 to 1 chip lead.

I came in 2nd.

It's the 2nd such meltdown this year. I know anyone can win heads up due to higher variances but it is certainly disappointing and it makes me wonder if I have a serious weak spot.

I do feel I get somewhat impatient heads up and my aggressive play may be too strong. But then again, the short stack is usually 10 big blinds or less so any action taken needs to be forceful or else you're just giving away chips.

While I doubt myself at my heads up skills I do think when I play live my table talk gets people to call me down when I have the goods. The fact that I joke alot and perform some antics gives people the impression I am playing too many hands when in fact I'm playing rather tight.

I guess if I were to take 2nd in every tourney I wouldn't be so upset but it smarts when you have such a commanding lead and can't hold on. I have yet another tourney this coming weekend, here's hoping I get a chance to practice my heads up play.

TJ Cookier

This is old time poker player and degenerate gambler TJ Cloutier...



Someone on the poker fan website pocket 5's saw this cookie....



...and thought that if he were to combine the 2 pictures the resulting picture would be funny. (and it was!!)



Now I know it may seem stupid to you, but I've literally been laughing at this picture for over a week now. So, I feel compelled to share. They've even started a whole thread dedicated to putting TJ Cookier in different situations and movie posters over at 2+2. Enjoy!!


(snicker...TJ Cookier...guffaw!)

Yet another poker report

Played in a home cash game last night (Lottery Larry again) and will be playing in a tournament at my house tomorrow night.

Pokerpokerpokerpokerpokerpokerpokerpokerpoker......whoooohooooo!


While I wasn't a huge winner by any stretch, I definitely made some plays that I liked. One hand in particular I think I made a nice read. The blinds were $0.50/$1.00 and I was in on the cut off position and looked down at pocket tens. The hand was limped once or twice to the guy to my right. (it was a night of lots of limping, which ultimately if you can play better post flop pays very well.) He put in a raise to $4 and was playing rather loosely up most of the night and had no problems raising with 10 9 offsuit. I decided to pop it again as I didn't think he had a real hand. To my dismay the small blind called rather quickly and then the original raiser also called.
At least I had position on both of them!

The flop cam a low and ragged one. I believe the board was 2 4 6 all different suits. Both my opponents checked. There's no way anyone was playing a 3 5 or even low pocket pairs. Plus the more I thought about it, there really was only one hand that was conceivable that was currently beating me- pocket jacks. I firmly believed that if either of my opponents had a bigger pocket pair than jacks that they would have reraised me preflop. I just didn't think either player was capable of slow playing aces in that spot with a raise and reraise. My opponents range of holdings was down to JJ, 10 10, 9 9, 8 8, AK, & AQ, all of which I beat except the jacks.

Needless to say I liked my lot in life just then and put in a strong bet. There was 39 dollars in the pot so I put in about 2/3rds of the pot ($26). If either one had an underpair I get some more money into the pot with a call, if they have the jacks they're likely to push all in and I have to make a big decision. If they have AK or AQ they'll likely fold and I push out out their chance of hitting one of their overcards. I threw out the bet and both folded after some hemming and hawing. Both later said that they both had AK. Had I had my x-ray glasses I think I wouldve only thrown out 1/3rd of teh pot and hoped to get a call, but nonetheless I played it properly and made a good read. It's moments of realization like these that make you appreciate the game.

Here's hoping I make some similar ones tomorrow night.

Online poker is rigged

well, not most sites, but do not play at Absolute Poker or Ultimate Bet

Ultimate Bet Cheats

LOL Donkaments

Poker when played optimally will lead to winning money over enough time and hands. Of course there will be short term variance that will lead to losing streaks despite how skilled you are. Tournaments have an even higher variance due to the escalating blinds and antes (forced bets) that create players to act with hand holdings that are less than preferred and players will try to bluff and steal more often than in cash. The increased luck factor obviously takes out some of the skill. The more players that play in a tourney, the more luck is a factor over skill. It's why guys like Chris Moneymaker and Jerry Yang have won millions of dollars in the main event of the WSOP.

The higher variance of tourneys has led the posters over at 2+2 to nickname them "donkaments". The donk part refers to "donkey"- lingo for a bad player. The posters there even raised alot of money to donate to Barry Greenstein's charity to get him to say the phrase, "LOL Donkaments" on the TV show, High Stakes Poker.

This past Saturday's home tourney reminded me of why donkament is such an apt name. Never have I seen so many inferior hands win over statistical favorites. One player even called an huge all-in pre-flop bet with an ace and ten of hearts to be dominated by his opponents aces. Less than one times out of ten will the ace ten suited win, so it was a big suck out when 4 hearts hit the board and the poor player with aces went home in 4th place.

Personally, I even beat 4 to 1 odds to win a huge hand that propelled me to a 2nd place finish. The blinds started to get big and it was time to start making some moves. I was dealt a king and queen of diamonds so I came in for a raise. I ended up with 3 other callers (BAH-No respect!!) so already the pot was large before the cards came out. The flop was ragged as it contained a 9, 10 and 5 with 3 different suits. Since I was the preflop aggressor and there was a decent amount of chips to be won I figured I should take the first stab at it. I bet the size of the pot and I got a quick call from Chris, the others folded.

Chris is a solid player, but his flat call made me suspicious. It meant one of two things to me- he had a huge hand and was trapping me (possible but unlikely) or he suspected me of stealing (which I was) and had a "bluff-catcher". A bluff-catcher is a hand that probably beats most of my holdings if I'm bluffing. So, he could have hands like AK, AQ, 88, 77, 66, etc. I ruled out jacks or better because I think he reraises preflop with those. I think this type of hand is the most likely and therefore I think I can move him off the hand with an all-in bet if a favorable turn card comes. If I get called by nines, tens or fives then "c'est la vie" and I go home.

The turn card was a 4, so unless Chris was fucking around with a 78 the card is a good one to make the bluff with as it likely hasn't hit Chris. I take a little time to count out my stacks and then push it in and announce my all in.

I get instacalled.

He turned over pocket 8's which really surprised me. That basically told me he thought I was bluffing the whole time as there really weren't many hands that he can beat except for a bluff. Pocket 7's were the only holding aside from a bluff that I could have that he could be beating and even that hand would be me bluffing at the pot. A10, A9, 78, K10, J10, 10's, 9's, 6's, 5's, jacks thru aces wre all strong possibilities for me to have in my hand. Chris went with his gut that I was making a play and made a great call here. I have to give kudos to him.

Unfortunately for him, the bad luck was high that night and the queen came on the river and I won the huge pot and took the chip lead. (I had about an 18% chance of winning with a jack, queen or king) He lasted a little while on a short stack but never recovered. My respect for Chris' game has risen over the past year and I somewhat regret inviting him to the game. (not really tho, because it's mostly for fun)

I eventually got heads up with a 6 to 1 chip lead but as luck would have it my opponent doubled up twice with some small bad beats to me and I had no choice but to go all in with an ace three and lost to his ace queen. Shame the worse hand wins trend stopped there.

What can you do? LOL Donkaments

Who's Ed McMahon?!!

Just this past Saturday night I played in my regular home game and poker tournament. (report coming up tonight or tomorrow) At the final table I am sandwiched in between two guys in their early 20's, Tim and Chris. I was fairly manic-y that night as I usually am during poker events. The previous night I was up until 3am with insomnia due to racy thoughts. So fueled solely on a manic high I was more Brian-ish than usual. (Wow, two made up words in one paragraph!!) I was singing at times. I was making inappropriate jokes (like joking about Tom sucking on his Mother's tit with her right next to him). I was also doing silly impersonations. In other words, I was my usual obnoxious self.

Certain phrases and words said by others were triggering my brain to sing songs that those words or phrases reminded me of. So, when someone announced that he had a pair of sixes by saying, "I got sixes", the Schoolhouse Rock song, I Got Six popped into my head and I started to sing it. Tim curiously started to look at me as I was singing the song, "I got six, that's all there is. Six times one is six- one times six." "Is that a made up song?", he queried.

I fully expect someone of Tim's age and generation to not know the Schoolhouse Rock catalog of songs. Especially as I Got Six is one of the more obscure and less popular ones. The Schoolhouse Rock animated shorts were beloved by my generation as they played in between the usual mix of Saturday morning cartoons. Most of my core knowledge of the multiplication tables, American History and the preamble to the constitution, basic science and human physiology and grammar was due to me being a typical kid couch potato every Saturday morning. I weep for Tim's generation as they did not have Schoolhouse Rock's catchy tunes beaten into their young impressionable brains. He did a have a glimmer of recognition when I told him it was the same guys who made I'm Just a Bill and Conjunction Junction.

I felt a touch old as I thought about that but then I felt even older a few minutes after that. After a interesting card came out on the turn on one hand I screamed, "Hey-o!!" in my best Ed McMahon impersonation. (well, it really was an impersonation of the late, great Phil Hartman impersonating Ed, but you get my point.) I followed up my initial Ed catch-phrase with a "You are correct sir!" and an Ed laugh. Chris then asks me, "Who are you impersonating?" I didn't know if I should be insulted as I thought Chris didn't recognize the impersonation because I was doing it poorly. I sheepishly replied, "Ed McMahon" Then the shock and awe bombing began with the next question from Chris-

"Who's Ed McMahon?"

"Are you serious?!" I incredulously replied somewhat out of line.

After some explaining that Ed was Johnny Carson's sidekick on the Tonight Show and he's the guy who delivers the big Clearinghouse sweepstakes check, he did know who Ed McMahon was. He then made the comparison to him being an Andy Richter and since he was close enough, I let the subject drop. A person who was a pop culture icon to my generation and to the 2 or 3 generations before me was becoming a footnote.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think Chris is dumb or anything like that for not knowing who Ed McMahon is. Quite the contrary as Chris appears to me to be a very intelligent, mature and funny young man. (good poker player too) Looking up the tonight Show on wiki, I see that Ed and Johnny said their goodbyes in 1992. While 1992 doesn't seem all that long ago to me, it's 16 years!! Chris was around 7 years old when Ed for the most part left the TV scene. Unless Chris' parents were completely neglectful or had weird ideas about when to put children to bed and what to let him watch on TV, It's understandable that he wouldn't instantly recognize the impression or name as I do. It's just like when I got a dirty look for not knowing who Ernie Kovacs was when I was in college. (I do now, having seen alot of his stuff, he was brilliant and groundbreaking)

So there you have it- what was once a star is now a memory. I am a bigger old fart than I previously thought (yet again, it seems to be getting worse...) and my only solace is knowing that someday Chris might finding himself saying, " 'Who's Andy Richter?!!' How could you not know who Andy Richter is?!!"

ESPN/Harrah's shakes up the WSOP

A few things happened to the World Series of Poker format while I was away-

For starters, here is the ESPN TV schedule for this year's WSOP events:

• July 22 - Event 1: $10,000 pot-limit hold 'em
• July 29 - Event 2: $1,500 no-limit hold 'em
• Aug. 5 - Event 3: $1,500 pot-limit hold 'em or Event 4: $5,000 mixed hold 'em
• Aug. 12 - Event 5: $1,000 no-limit hold 'em with rebuys
• Aug. 19 - Event 45: $50,000 HORSE
• Aug. 26 - Event 50: $10,000 pot-limit Omaha
• Sept. 2 to Oct. 28 - Event 55: $10,000 no-limit hold 'em main event
• Nov. 4 - Event 55: WSOP main event final table preview show (10pm)
• Nov. 11 - Event 55: WSOP main event final table

No stud events with the exception of the HORSE event (mixed games consisting of Hold Em, Omaha, Razz, Stud, and Eights or better stud.) I know that TV ratings are getting weaker and weaker for poker so it's a bitter pill to swallow to see less variety. A shame that they cut the HORSE down to 2 hours, 6 hours last year was perfect and fulfilling.

The other big change is that they are stopping play when the final table is established and will restart play in November, either a few hours before the televised event starts or a day or so. (I'm uncertain at this point)

That is big news to say the least. I think it could suck but if it helps boost the excitement of poker again to it's 2004/2005 levels then I'm all for it. Collusion could come into play. Players who made it to the table via some luck may get some coaching and may change how the game would've been played. Plus someone could die in that 4 month period!! I really hope it works and nothing taints the game. Poker has come a long way to get some respect and not be associated heavily with cheating, The Absolute Poker scandal didn't reach a big audience but a collusion scam at teh WSOP would be a huge media event that I'd hate to see come to pass.


Cross your fingers and hope ESPN and Harrah's knows what they are doing...