Confessions of a Facebook addict.

It starts out with the best of intentions. Heck, you don't even think you'll like Facebook as it sounds like a dressed up version of Myspace. You're no teeny-bopper, after all. Still, you figure to pop on and have a look-see as you might find that old friend of yours that you haven't seen in 15 years and it'll be good to drop him a line.

You sign up and find a few friends. You take a look at their pictures and their cute children. "Aww, look! Steve has his little boy wrapped around his head." "I see Marie hasn't changed much." "Wow, Josh actually is wearing matching outfits with his 1 year old..." A fun jaunt, yes, but nothing too distracting. You leave a message on the wall of an old friend as you log off.

The next thing you know is that you get a notification in your email box from facebook. It's letting you know someone has "poked" you. "Hmmph... I wonder what that's all about", you think to yourself. So you log back on and end up giving a poke back to Andy. Then all of the sudden someone has superpoked you and sent you a hug! Well, I'll teach her and I'll send back a superpoke myself and issue a restraining order. While you're there Facebook is recommending other people to be your friends. You scan and see a bunch of old friends you haven't talked to in a long time. You start sending out your own requests to people to become your friends.

You start getting excited at the prospect of reconnecting with old pals and think that Facebook isn't all that bad. How can it be? Besides, you're in control and you can quit Facebook anytime you want.

The next 2 months are whirlwind of activity as you join groups on Facebook and even find some fun and silly groups like People Who Never Have Seen Gary Busey and Nick Notle in the Same Room at the Same Time. You find that you can leave comments on your status and make remarks on people's pictures. You start using the chat feature with all your friends and also become fans of your favorite TV shows and muscicians. It's all good, right? Meanwhile, your superpoke war has escalated with Cindy and after she threw an octopus, you've raised the stakes to giving Monty Python gifts like a Spanish Inquisition. You've also started playing games on Facebook like poker and word puzzles and also started comparing which movies you like best among your friends and issue IQ contests.

Still, you can stop whenever you want to, right? It's fine, you're just on there for some fun and to waste some time. It's not like you have a problem like some other people do. Now they're the ones that go overboard.

Your friend count has ballooned as of late. After all, you are a social person and they do require friends for interactioning. You've even started to request to be friends with old acquaintances that you maybe have spoken to about 5 times in your life and which was nothing of too much importance. Friends are good, though, so you don't mind. You've also found some internet buddies from a message board that you haven't even met in real life that you befriend. You flutter around Facebook like the social butterfly that you are, feeling good that you have finally cracked the 50 friend mark. But then you start to feel jealous when you see that some friends have 200 or more. "Harrummphh!! What does he have that I don't have?!", you think to yourself as you plot your next move. Perhaps a superpoke to that person or even better you issue out event invitations to your upcoming party to all your new Facebook friends.

It's not a problem, however, I just log onto Facebook only about 25 times a day. It's okay, I can get my work done if I'm careful. I don't need to see what Jeff is doing that night or write all over Karen's wall. I am in complete control. I don't have a problem. No, not me. Hahahahahahahahahahahaha! I'm fine, promise. Heehehehhehehehehe. No sweat. Hohohohhohoo!