Thursday, April 2, 2009

Pranks a lot part deux

Yesterday, my wife's laptop showed up at my workplace. There was a decent sale that Dell was running 2 weeks ago that we couldn't pass up, so we ordered Lynn a laptop for her future employment as a teacher. I had it shipped to my warehouse at work for security reasons as I know there's always someone present during delivery hours to sign for it. Which you have to figure is much better than to just have the UPS man leave a big cardboard box on my front porch that has "DELL" in big bold letters on the side. Just a hunch, but I'm guessing that even though I'm in a good neighborhood that the computer would be more likely to disappear that way than if I were to sign for in person.

After I received the computer, I didn't give it much more thought other than the fact that wife will be excited to get her new laptop. It wasn't until I picked up the box to put into the car did I start to think of a devious plot to get my wife good on April Fool's day. The box, although larger than you'd expect for a laptop, was rather light. I know it's just a laptop but for some reason I was expecting it to be heavier due to the size of the box. As a result I initially thought for a split second it was empty. I quickly dispelled the notion but the very thought of an empty box gave me the idea to empty out the box before I gave it to Lynn with a note inside that said "April Fools!!" But on the drive home I hatched an even better plan but it would require some skill and luck in order to pull it off sucessfully.

I got home and took the box into the garage and as originally planned I emptied out the box and left the computer with its accessories in the garage. I then took the empty box and brought it inside with me. I spotted my wife doing sit ups on the floor of our living room, her placement couldn't have been more perfect for what I had planned. I announced, "Hi honey! Look what finally arrived today!" She looked up at me and saw that I was carrying the big box with "DELL" written on the side and exclaimed with a big smile, "My computer's finally here, hooray!"

Just then, I purposely tripped and landed on top of the empty box right next to where Lynn was lying down. My resulting fall and large body frame mercilessly crushed the box flat as a pancake. I really did sell the tripping part too, it was my best acting performance since my turn as Officer Krupke in West Side Story in high school. Try to imagine Chris Farley as the "Van down by the river guy" guy on SNL falling flat onto the coffee table. I think I may have missed my calling as a slap stick artist.

I immediately turned to look at Lynn and she had a huge look of shock on her face, it was truly priceless and worth the bruise I am now sporting on my chest. I let the shock sink for a few seconds and then let her off the hook when I bellowed, "April fools!!" Her look of shock and worry immediately turned to anger and she started to hit me. She knew then that I had gotten her good. It ain't easy pulling off a prank on April 1st as everyone is expecting it. I think you have to go for the quick shock factor before they can think things through.

I'm sure I added fuel to the fire by the very fact that I couldn't stop giggling and smiling about what I had done the rest of the evening. I know I can get rather annoying at times and especially so when I get smug and satisfied like that. Nonetheless, whatever pain I got from the fall or resulting ire I may experience from the wife, that look on her face is something I'll savor for quite some time.


jeff cothren said...


Lottery Larry said...

Nicely done

(now, hide the top the comment)

Lynn, he's an idiot- you SHOULD have pummeled him.

Jeff Cantor said...

awesome - thanks for the laugh.