Friday, February 27, 2009

Where has all the customer service gone?

As I write this, my poor wife, Lynn, has experienced something most of have in this day and age of repairs- the 4 hour window that wasn't met. We had an oven that wouldn't heat up and most modern ovens aren't very easy to fix if you don't know what you're doing. Instead of a pilot light there's some sort of electronic heating ignition device and damn if I know how to replace it without blowing up the house. It's the sort of modern convenience that isn't very convenient to the end user. The GE oven is barely 5-6 years old, so we decided to call a GE repairman.

Since appliances are so cheap these days, we have to pay some guy about 1/4th of what we spent on the actual unit itself to just come out and take a look. The money meter starts ticking as soon as he arrives. I'd be willing to bet that if he had to rebuild the unit with parts that you'd spend 25 times the value of the unit on parts alone. As much as it seems a waste of money the more worrisome part is the waste of your time. Whether it's the cable guy, a delivery of a mattress, or a GE oven repairman, you always get a 4 hour window of when that person will grace you with his presence. Half the time, they don't even do that.

Anyways, Lynn makes her appointment of 8am til 12pm thinking that she could get her sleep in shortly after the repairman leaves as she needs to get about 3-4 hours of sleep in order to work her night shift at the hospital before the kids get home at 4pm. She actually gets an automated call at 10pm telling her that she's the next one to be serviced and to get any dogs out of the way. A nice feature except for the fact that no one shows up. She waits til 12:30pm and no one has shown up. Frustrated she calls the service center.

Now here is where the good companies get separated from the bad companies. Anyone can run a business and have most things go right. Make a good product or service, have that product or service do its intended job and have a satisfied customer, it's the end of story for 95% or more of transactions. But as I've learned so aptly from a beach T-shirt I saw in 1987, "Shit Happens". It's when that shit happens and how that company reacts and takes care of the shit is what makes invaluable service or products.

They could make a great customer out of us by doing the right thing and solve the problem or make Lynn happier by offering some sort of concession. But instead, just like most large corporations, the customer service fought with her. If the word sorry was used it was in regards to how Lynn felt (ie. "I'm sorry you feel this way") and not that they are sorry for making her wait all morning and not have the repairman show up on time or even call to say that he's running late. The rep couldn't even tell her when he could come or if it would be anytime soon. No concessions or discounts were offered until Lynn actually cancelled the order.

It's like when you get a new credit card and cancel the old one the old company suddenly starts offering you a much better rate than before. Well, if you could have given such a great rate before I wouldn't be looking for a new card, would I? So once the words, cancel and stop the order were used the rep changed her tune. But by that time it was too late. I can only guess that they are actually trained to stand pat with the goodies until the customer threatens to fly the coop. How awful is that?

I run a small business and when I get a customer upset that my product broke or didn't show up in time or whatever else that could go wrong, I do something to correct it right away. I don't wait until I hear the customer get so upset that they threaten to cancel their order or go to another place. While it's true that there are some irrational customers who you can never satisfy, most people want someone to listen, correct the problem and do a little something for having their time wasted or go through a bit of a pickle.

Instead most companies would rather do what they can to hold onto their nickles until the very last moment before conceding and some don't even concede at all. We as consumers seem to have less and less power when it comes to the big corporations. Customer service has reached an all time low in my opinion. I guess I sound like a cranky old man, but Ebay, GE and all of the other virtual monopolies can go fuck themselves. We need more competition and we need people to start speaking up to getting treated right.

Monday, February 23, 2009

Libras are irrational

Lately, I've been finding myself arguing or debating with people on completely different levels of thinking. Far be it from to claim that I'm right in my opinions (even though I am), it's becoming apparent to me that it's incredibly futile to try and discuss rational thought when the other person is using emotion and feeling as their argument. Yet, still I find myself arguing and huffing and puffing. It becomes infuriating to watch that persons silly grin as they discuss how Taurus is a big influential sign on her life and relationships with Geminis always end badly.

Honestly, I try to understand and I can see where Karen came to the conclusion that she does better with Taurus men than Gemini men as her 3 biggest and most successful relationships were all men that are born between April 20th and May 19th and her divorce was with a man who was born a Gemini. But to me- there's no causality, it's a small sample size and she may even have selective data as she probably only includes the data where it matches up with her conclusions (and not on purpose either, a lot of us tend to have selective memories when trying to make a point).

Perhaps I should convince her to date a million men. If she wasn't married, she probably could fulfill that task or at least give it the ol' college try. (I'm kidding Karen!) And after you get a large enough collection of...ahem.."data", she could perhaps see that her chances of having a positive relationship with a Gemini is as equally likely as having one with a Taurus. Or maybe, she even could be proven right and she could nanny nanny poo poo me all she wants. And I would accept the razzing because she used a scientific way to prove her point.

But she doesn't think that way.

And it's not that thinking by emotion makes her always wrong. It probably gets her pretty far with most things as most people use their "gut" to get through life anyways. Heck, some really good poker players are "feel" players who ignore the math completely but still manage to be rather successful. There certainly is something to be said about emotive capabilities.

So why can't I accept that and move on? Why do I have to even view emotion itself as simple chemical reactions and synapses firing and nothing else?

It's not like I give my wife a Valentine's day card and write a note that says, "My endorphin levels escalate every time I am aware of your presence. My hormonal response to your sex organs is a positive experience. I have no plans of mating with other women in the foreseeable future, Brian" Instead I write, "I love you and love being around you. You have an ass that won't quit. Yours forever, Brian." So, why do I have such trouble accepting arguments from the emotional side. Why won't my line of thinking allow me to embrace spirituality?

I'd say that science is my religion but that would be a cop-out and completely untrue. I am without all faith and science is not faith as it constantly changes. Scientists abandon the latest scientific theory as soon as a better one comes along. I also feel what you would could call spirituality at times, it's just I have a voice that tells me that's it's a weird chemical reaction. I think I've somehow learned to detach myself from certain emotions in order to survive my own destructiveness and emotional carnage from my bipolar nature.

I also tend to surround myself with cynics and doubters like myself. It's also why I have become such a pompous ass about my belief system. I was constantly being reinforced as my line of thinking as being the right way of thinking. I would scoff at the religious right and view them as the enemy who was ruining my libertarian way of life with their intrusive morality laws. I started to associate the extreme kooks with your average person who had any faith whatsoever.

In other words, I became an elitist.

Then one day I watched someone else berate their own relative for having a faith based belief. He tried his best to berate that person in front of me and even looked to me for back up. While I thought that this person's belief was correct and logical, I wanted no part of his utterly disgusting display of pompous indignation and audacity. I actually defended the other person. I didn't defend their point of view but rather their right to have that point of view and their right to not take such shit from anyone for having that belief.

It's opened my eyes to a certain extent. While I still have no tolerance for the extremists and people who wish to shove their faith into the law of the land, I've come to accept people who have spirituality and faith as someone with a different take on things. I don't embrace spirituality but I do understand it better and while I may not ever understand anyone's own particular sense of bliss, I do acknowledge and respect it much better than I ever have the past 10 years.

Now all I have to do is learn how to sidestep getting into all of these debates.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Riding a wave into a wall

After tipping a dealer free money, you'd think Karma would repay me back and allow my trip to Vegas end well. But, alas, I am not Earl of TV fame and such cosmic balances don't apply to my life. Once I walked away from the Let it Ride table, I figured my winnings were just shy of $2200. I knew that I shouldn't be stupid in my remaining few hours and not risk much more than $200. But my mood started to turn sour from a very frustrating ordeal in obtaining my storage crate to ship back to work, a fairly bad meal (although comped!!) and a nagging cold that started to develop. I probably shouldn't have played anything at that point and instead just go to my room, masterbate and go to bed early.

Dummy me went to the poker room back at the Bellagio. They had 1/2 again thankfully and I went up again after a quick start. Then I just sort of petered out. I kept getting hands that were excellent draws like open ended straight draws and the nut flush draws, but they always missed so I was losing money fast. Then I just got plain cooled when my set of 4's lost out to an AK flush draw that hit a final heart on the river. My intial buy in was gone. I considered rebuying as the night was somewhat still early but reconsidered when I thought about the following:

The players at the table seemed to be better in skill than previous nights although not unbeatable.
I was in a bad mood and getting sicker.
I was steaming from the suck out.
$2000 is still an excellent amount of money to go home with.

While possible that I could have rewon my buy in and more, I'm glad I walked away when I did. I think I've learned better discipline this trip and while it's very certain that I could've made better decisions along the way to maximize wins and minimize losses, I am still proud of myself for keeping the big picture in mind and not risking more than $300 and usually $200 at any one point. I kept focused most of the time I played and I identified players who were worse than me and tried to isolate them. Overall I give myself a solid B+ for the way I played in vegas.

I went back to my room and tried to get some sleep as I had a morning flight back to Philly. My cold at that point was driving me nuts as my sinuses made me feel like my head was going to cave in. Not to mention that annoying nasal drip was making my throat sweel like a balloon. I ended up with less than 4 hours of sleep. I was happy, however, with my last ride down in the "inclinators", the Luxor's elevators that go sideways and up and down at the same time since the building is pyramid shaped. The inclinators are not very fun to ride when tired, sick, drunk or stone cold sober for that matter as well.

Once back in Philly I came home to some upsetting news which I can't even repeat here (strange for me, yes, I know) so my high from the trip came to an abrupt end. I can describe the feeling as surfing a great wave and instead of gliding into shore you hit a brick wall. Perhaps next time I'll keep the money and let the dealer cry, Karma is a cruel mistress.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

More Watchmen sneak peaks

The Watchmen comes out in about just 2 weeks so lots of sneak peeks are coming to light, here are a few I've found. I still have mixed feelings on if the movie will be good but, damn, some of these clips are awesome.

Things start to get weird

The third day in Vegas wasn't as profitable and fun as the second but I still continued my winning streak and I had a nice dinner with an old high school friend I hadn't seen in 20 years who was now living in Vegas. The show had run all day so I was feeling quite drained but I managed to get in an hour of poker before meeting Rob. The players again at the Luxor were quite bad. I only managed a small win of 50 dollars.

Dinner with Rob was very pleasant. I wasn't very close with Rob but I always remembered him to be a nice guy, I wish I had spent more time with him back than as he was a joy to spend dinner with last week. After he dropped me off, I went straight back to the poker tables and managed to win yet another "best hand" and an extra $100 when my Queens full of tens held up. The game itself was very wild compared to the night before as there was a very loose aggressive and drunk player present who was splashing chips and making raises with nine deuce off suit (and making hands!). I tightened up and waited and managed to isolate him in a hand and win a decent sized pot. Then 3 hands later he managed to suck out on me and hit his gut shot straight draw so I lost the money I had won from him. The real shame was when he got stacked by another player and left.

Nevertheless, I walked away a $300 winner for the day if you included the best hand win. That put me at $1800 for the trip. I felt great and nothing was going to bring me down- hahahahahahaha!!

Okay, so maybe I wasn't that manic, but it's hard to contain yourself when you keep winning. I was certainly having a good time and remained undaunted when some weird things started to happen the next day.

The next day I was waiting for the show to start so since I was in the Mandalay Bay casino, I decided to kill 45 minutes playing some stupid poker variant where you play against the casino. It was called Crazy 4 poker and despite not really knowing what I was doing, I still managed to win $220 playing it. While that in of itself wasn't weird, it did lead me to see another game that interested me called Let it Ride. I didn't play it that morning but I did make a note to come back and try it later.

That day at the convention, a man came up to my booth and started to give me a small amount of grief in a teasing manner. I immediately recognized as the man who made his straight when I made my full house and won the best hand promo and I took close to $200 from him on that hand. I nervously gave him lots of free samples and whatever I could grab to make him forget that I had taken his money. He was actually nice about it and I may have him as a customer some day. Even still, it's weird when take money from strangers and see them later in your professional life.

The show finally ended and I knew I had to wait a bit for them to deliver my crate. As a result, I made my way back to the casino and tried that Let It Ride that interested me. Again, without really knowing what I was doing, I actually managed to go up about $70. I was having the best dumb luck of my life this trip or so I thought...

Just then a guy walked up to the table. He was the sort of guy who had douche-bag written all over his face. He was dressed in a black suit with a white T-shirt underneath. He had lots of gold chains dangling from his neck and his black hair was slicked back with lots of mousse. I'm not one to racially profile but if I had to guess, I would have said that he was one of those young Iranian men who loved to go clubbing. What's weirder is that he was rolling his carry-on suitcase through the casino. He was just dropped off and fresh from landing at the airport. He almost walked completely by but stopped at our table and plunked a hundred dollar bill. He placed his bets and the amazing happened- he hit a royal flush and won $25,000.

First Goddammed hand of his trip and this lucky fucker wins $25,000. After the excitemet died down the dealer presented him with a full rack of $1000 chips. I was in awe. She also gave him some lesser denomination chips like $25 and $100- obviously meant to tip her. After all, these dealers work mainly for tips and dream of when they finally deal that big winner and get a nice pay day.

The guy takes out 3 $100 chips and give me one and one to the other 2 players at the table. "Thank you! That's very generous!" I quickly said and then he took his racks and left- stiffing the dealer. The dealer became visibly upset and was holding back the tears. Without much thought I then tossed her the $100 chip and said, "Thanks for the excellent service." The other 2 players followed suit and did the same thing. While tearing up she thanked us over and over again. I was just about to cash out my $120 winnings when the pit boss came over and told us that even though he normall can't do as such, he would comp us all for a free dinner for tipping the dealer like that when she got stiffed. I was proud of myself for doing the right thing.

to be continued...

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

In memormiam: Joyce Klaus 3/8/1944-2/17/1995

Hi Mom,

It's now been 14 years since your passing and I still have trouble believing you're not here. I think the thing you would have enjoyed the most aside from your grandchildren is the fact that Duane and I get along much better than we have in the past. Well that and the Game Show Network and the reruns of The Match Game. The celebrity gossip certainly hasn't dried up either so you would've enjoyed that awful show TMZ as well. Since you passed from colon cancer, I got my first colonoscopy last year and the good news was that I was polyp free. I wish you had more warnings or an early checkup that would have given you better fight. But it's too late and I can do is learn from your mistake. I do miss you so and I think of you often.


Your son Brian

Monday, February 16, 2009

A good day

The next day of my Vegas trip turned out to be a very good one. I woke up completely refreshed and excited to play some more poker. I wasn't expected to start the trade show until 3:30 that day, so I had plenty of time to try my luck at the tables. I made my way to the Belagio again and to my immediate dismay I found out that they only had a $2/$5 NL table running and no $1/$2 tables. I decided against my better judgment to take a shot with a short stack but this turned out to be lucky thing for me.

I sat down with $300 and proceded to get pocket Kings, pocket Queens, pocket Aces and pocket Jacks within the first 10 minutes. Not only did this put me up rather quickly but it also led the other players to avoid me in a lot of pots which enabled me to actually win a few pots uncontested. I was also amazed at how the level of play was no better than the play found at the lower stake games in Vegas. I guess Vegas tends to get more touristy players than AC or other places get. The horrible decisions made by most players was truly a great way to make money if you played tight and straight forward and focused. While it was true that the deck was hitting me pretty well I felt that I played my best poker in quite a while. I played for a good 3 and half hours until I realized that I needed to get some lunch and make my way over to the convention. I was up a good 400 dollars or more when I announced to the table that I was playing my last hand. I was dealt pocket nines and was on the button. The under the gun raiser made a more than usual raise which led me to believe that he had a big pocket pair like aces or kings. A bad player from middle position made the call so I decided to call as well and see if I could hit my set and maybe stack the guy. The flop truly was a great flop for me- 983 rainbow. I had top set and the original raiser was betting big into me. Ultimately, we ended up all in and I raked in a huge pot of $1500 when my trip 9's held against his pocket Kings. It was my biggest pot ever and I was walking on air during the convention.

The convention itself was also the biggest I've attended for the type of show it was. There was a lot of students which really do me no good business-wise except to get my name out but I did make a lot of decent contacts and I hope to see some business from it. Even as trade shows drain the life out of you I still managed to let my big win carry me through the 3 hour shift and I dropped into a restaurant on the way back to my hotel. It was called RM Seafood (the RM stood for Rick Moonen) and it was probably the best sushi I've ever had, the Artic Char was absolutely and incredibly delecious.

After a quick change of clothes I planned on going back to the Belagio, but saw that the Luxor actually had a 1/2 table going. I figured I'd save myself a cab ride and took a seat there. Again, with the exception of a few decent players, the level of play was rather bad and I quickly went up and was making some money. They had a special promotion where once an hour the highest valued hand (with some stipulations) would win $100. During my time spent there, I managed to get Aces full of fives and it held up as the best hand for the remaining 50 minutes. That combined with the $200 I won playing made me an $1500 winner for the day.

Up $1500 with a great meal in my belly, I slept like a baby that night. Blissfully unaware of any problems at home I had a great day where the only thing I wish for was my wife by my side to share it with.

to be continued...

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

What happens in Vegas gets blogged about in Vegas

Considering how much I love poker, it's kind of amazing that I haven't played in Vegas in the last 5 years. The last time I was able to get here was 2003, just months before I started playing regularly. Instead, I've languished as the trade shows I have to attend are in places like Indianapolis and Nashville. I was overjoyed last year when I saw that I was finally getting to go to Vegas this February.

And here I am.

Not after a arduous trip, mind you, it's never easy. I did myself the disservice of booking a 6:15AM flight out of Philly. That meant I had to wake up at 3:30AM. Of course, I was manic the night before so I barely got 3 hours of sleep. The flight itself was okay if not for the extremely noxious and gassy passenger located some where near me. I'm not joking when I say that there was a 2 hour period where you smelled a nasty fart every 5 minutes. He or she was laying them low too, so there was no warnings, just an awful odor coming from somewhere. As a result I didn't get to nap on the plane as I desired,

Fortunately the Luxor hotel was able to check me in early and I freshened up and decided to get a bite to eat. I ate at their buffet but they were only serving breakfast and my body clock was wanting lunch. Usually I have no problems eating breakfast foods for lunch or dinner (or "Brinner" as Turk from Scrubs would call it.), but I was just in the mood for a hamburger. Not to be daunted I ate my omlete and bacon and made my way to see what the poker room at the Luxor looked like.

It was maybe 7 tables tops and only one table was playing. I hoped it was a cash game but it was the end of their sit n go from the morning. It appeared that the Luxor only runs small sit n go's as they can't seem to get enough interest in cash games. Maybe they run some in the evening. I decided being tired and not wanting to go anywhere that I would just sign up for a $32 sit n go for noon. 22 ended up playing and the level of play was mostly very bad. But the tourney helped those players as it went very fast in blinds and thatstructure allows for luck. Even still, I managed to stay alive until I finally got too short stacked and had to push with Ace Ten and lost to a person who won with K rag. It paid out to 3 so I missed the money. C'est la vie.

After setting up my booth I skipped lunch and went back to my room to nap. For whatever reasons I couldn't fall asleep and at around 6pm Vegas time I got up and headed to the Bellagio for some cash poker. The Bellagio is the nicest casino you'll find and the poker room was rather ornate. After sitting down at a 1/2 no limit Hold 'em table I noticed that my ass was literally 5 feet away from the doors to "Bobby's Room". I turned around and looked inside and saw the nice comfy chairs reserved for the highest limits. The big famous pros including Phil Ivey and Doyle Brunson will play their high stakes games when they are in town. I guess no one was around as the room was empty. Still, I felt appreciative of the history and felt a little star struck.

I managed toget up a hundred or so until I got cooled when my pocket two's hit their set on the flop of a limped pot (A82 rainbow). Me and another player got all in on the turn when a second ace filled me with a full house. I figured he had trip aces but just about the only reasonable hand that beat me (A8) was what he had. I rebought and managed to double up an hour later with pocket Kings vs. someone's two pair on a board of QT3 (I also had two pair when a the turn brought a second 3) and played cauiously until I felt really tired and went to bed only down by 20 bucks. I got about 11 hours of sleep and woke up today refreshed and ready to play some more poker.

to be continued...

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

The tree of insanity

It's February 3rd and if any mention of holiday decorations comes up right now it's because you see a few hearts or cupids here and there, mostly stemming from advertisements for Valentine's day goodies. If you're like most people who celebrate Christmas, the decorations have long been torn down and the tree, if live, is firewood at this point and it's packed away if it was a fake tree. Any thoughts of Christmas or it's decorations is 10 months away.

That is, unless you're a crazy person like my Mother-in-law, Marge.

I'm surprised that I haven't really blogged much about my whack job of a Mother-in-law as she really is a great source of entertainment if you're not the one banging your head against the wall at her illogical nature and stubborness. I also really should point out that I have indeed grown to love the woman, warts and all. She has a good heart, can be very generous and is almost always well intentioned. That said, there's some wiring upstairs that needs to be ripped out and redone.

The weekend after the new year is when I always tear everything down. Most people are the same way, if they're a touch lazy it may take an extra weekend, but no biggie. Most of the time St. Patty's days comes to pass before my in-laws decide to pack it up. And they used to get a live tree until these past few years. I'm not sure which irked me more- the fact that they had a major fire hazard in their house or now they can keep the tree up until the 4th of July. When it was a live tree I would joke that they threw the tree away one needle at a time and I wasn't far from the truth. So now with a fake tree, they keep it up even longer (and they have), driving me ever more crazy.

I used to have a lot of sympathy for my father-in-law, Gerry, him having to deal with Marge's pack rat nature and never wanting to throw anything away. There's stacks of newspapers in the house (she loves fire hazards?); she saved floppy discs from an old Apple II computer; the fridge is stuffed to capacity because she'll never throw away any food. She even serves expired mayonnaise if you're not vigilant about looking at the labels. I'm not lying when I say that my wife, Lynn, and I will actually go over to their house during their vacations and furtively throw things out. We once found some meat marked with dates from the mid-90's in her freezer downstairs. Marge was keeping meat that was from a cow that was alive when the Ashey twins were still on Full House! She lives with just herself and Gerry and yet she keeps buying food for a family of 5 and storing it in the basement. When armageddon comes a knockin', I know exactly which basement I'm making a break for.

And despite all of this craziness, I've lost most sympathy for Gerry. For starters, I've come to realize that he's a big enabler. He only seems to ever challenge her when company is present so he feels like he has backing. Secondly, I think he's the larger perpetrator when it comes to the tree. I think he pretends that it's Marge who wants the tree up so long, but I've sensed something different is going on, plus, he never complains about the tree behind her back like he does about everything else.

I think he's dealt with her big heapin' helpin' spoonful of loony tunes for so long that he himself has been driven into madness. He clings to that tree and the good times of Christmas for as long as he can. The more you try to pry that tree away from him, the harder his grip gets and the longer the tree stays up.

And you know what is even crazier?

I let it all bother me.

Yes, I make my little jokes to them about the tree or the stores of food and newspapers but here I sit perplexed at all the madness and I can't fathom why they are!! I think I complain about Lynn's Mom and dad more than she does and she's their daughter, so you'd think she'd have about 18 years more stress to bear than me. But for whatever reason, they're driving the bus to crazy town and I'm in right there with them in the front seat.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Brian the Fuck-up

There's some quite off-putting when you get called a "fuck-up". It's even more depressing when it's coming from your father. I'm sure he meant to motivate me in some fashion but all it's really done is left me in a funk most of the week. I think he may be right that I'm fucked-up in the fact that I keep seeking approval from him or just plain acceptance for who I am. Something that I consciously try to do with my sons is to praise them often or hug them openly or not use negative reinforcement of bad behaviors. I'm sure I'm far from perfect in regards to that but I'm doing my best to break the cycle of a long line of cold German bastards who were brought up to be stern and not demonstrate any love because it would be considered a sign of weakness for a man to be any different.

It's not that my father is a complete asshole, because if he were, he'd be a lot easier to just write off. He's certainly saved my ass on more than a few occasions and I've probably been a disappointment in many ways when you consider the wasted potential I had before I became a college drop-out. But he gets in these cocky moods where he feels like he's better than anyone else and that's when he's extra annoying. I suppose I can attribute that to the bipolar genes we share but he likes to deny. I guess since he won't recognize his own possible mood disorder that he doesn't have sympathy for those who will.

I certainly don't want to use my disorder as a crutch and I always think that you need to take responsibility for your actions despite the causality. But I don't think my Dad knows just how hard it's been just achieving what I've accomplished in the last 12 years. I'm a homeowner, a good husband, a good father, and while I may not be the biggest go-getter when it comes to the family business I've certainly contributed quite a lot and I am a big reason for its success. Perhaps, I've been a bit despondent lately because my opinions tend to get ignored or put aside and my attitude towrds the business comes across as being lackluster. But, I will get a bit non-plussed when he calls me a fuck-up and I should take more initiative.

Yes, I do screw around a bit more than I should. It's obvious as I'm on Facebook doing puzzles or even here blogging at 3:30 in the afternoon. But I take pride in the fact of how efficiently I can get my work done. I guess I should be spending every possible moment in a frenzy trying to stir up business, so if that's the case, then I'm a big fuck-up. But you, Dad, are a fuck-up as well. Maybe not as a business and sales man, but as a supportive and caring person. Yet, I still love you and wish to have your undying appreciation and apporval despite the lack of it. I doubt either of us will change all that much but it's not that fucked-up to think differently and strive to be better.