Yesterday, my wife's laptop showed up at my workplace. There was a decent sale that Dell was running 2 weeks ago that we couldn't pass up, so we ordered Lynn a laptop for her future employment as a teacher. I had it shipped to my warehouse at work for security reasons as I know there's always someone present during delivery hours to sign for it. Which you have to figure is much better than to just have the UPS man leave a big cardboard box on my front porch that has "DELL" in big bold letters on the side. Just a hunch, but I'm guessing that even though I'm in a good neighborhood that the computer would be more likely to disappear that way than if I were to sign for in person.
After I received the computer, I didn't give it much more thought other than the fact that wife will be excited to get her new laptop. It wasn't until I picked up the box to put into the car did I start to think of a devious plot to get my wife good on April Fool's day. The box, although larger than you'd expect for a laptop, was rather light. I know it's just a laptop but for some reason I was expecting it to be heavier due to the size of the box. As a result I initially thought for a split second it was empty. I quickly dispelled the notion but the very thought of an empty box gave me the idea to empty out the box before I gave it to Lynn with a note inside that said "April Fools!!" But on the drive home I hatched an even better plan but it would require some skill and luck in order to pull it off sucessfully.
I got home and took the box into the garage and as originally planned I emptied out the box and left the computer with its accessories in the garage. I then took the empty box and brought it inside with me. I spotted my wife doing sit ups on the floor of our living room, her placement couldn't have been more perfect for what I had planned. I announced, "Hi honey! Look what finally arrived today!" She looked up at me and saw that I was carrying the big box with "DELL" written on the side and exclaimed with a big smile, "My computer's finally here, hooray!"
Just then, I purposely tripped and landed on top of the empty box right next to where Lynn was lying down. My resulting fall and large body frame mercilessly crushed the box flat as a pancake. I really did sell the tripping part too, it was my best acting performance since my turn as Officer Krupke in West Side Story in high school. Try to imagine Chris Farley as the "Van down by the river guy" guy on SNL falling flat onto the coffee table. I think I may have missed my calling as a slap stick artist.
I immediately turned to look at Lynn and she had a huge look of shock on her face, it was truly priceless and worth the bruise I am now sporting on my chest. I let the shock sink for a few seconds and then let her off the hook when I bellowed, "April fools!!" Her look of shock and worry immediately turned to anger and she started to hit me. She knew then that I had gotten her good. It ain't easy pulling off a prank on April 1st as everyone is expecting it. I think you have to go for the quick shock factor before they can think things through.
I'm sure I added fuel to the fire by the very fact that I couldn't stop giggling and smiling about what I had done the rest of the evening. I know I can get rather annoying at times and especially so when I get smug and satisfied like that. Nonetheless, whatever pain I got from the fall or resulting ire I may experience from the wife, that look on her face is something I'll savor for quite some time.
Showing posts with label April Fools. Show all posts
Showing posts with label April Fools. Show all posts
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Pranks a lot!
As promised months ago, since today is April Fool's Day, I'd recount a prank I pulled on a fellow dorm mate in college.
It was the second semester of my freshman year. Two new guys had just moved into the empty room down the hall from where I roomed. Apparently, they were already good friends from high school and they requested that they room together. As most of us know now, there are two things that can ruin a good friendship- the first is living together and not then getting along. The second is when one gets a new girlfriend. At this period in their lives, Jason and Craig had to suddenly contend with both.
Jason was dating a girl named Reenie and his finally living away from his parent's house was a dream come true in the fact that he could have sex with her without fear of his parents walking in on them. Imagine his chagrin when Reenie got extremely mad and embarrassed when Craig walked in on them while she was half naked. After she stormed out of his room, Jason and Craig went into a loud screaming match in the hallway.
Jason basically argued that Craig should have to knock on the door before unlocking and entering the room. Craig rebuffed that he shouldn't have to knock on his own door and he should be able to come and go as he pleases. Their loud spat started to draw a crowd, including my attention as well. As I listened to them debate and observed Jason's face turn red I felt a twinge in the of my brain. It was telling me to do something awful as I was presented with the best set up.
Having briefly met Jason a week ago (we had walked to the local comic book shop together), I approached them and made a suggestion.
"Listen, you're both going all about this all wrong..." I sagely presented my advice, "You're both right, of course, Jason deserves privacy and Craig shouldn't have to knock on his own door every time he wants to get in. What you guys need is some sort of signal. I don't know....put something on the door knob...like...a rubber band!!"
I walked into their room and grabbed a rubber band from Craig's desk and placed it around the door knob.
"Look! See, now once Craig goes to unlock the door, he'll see the rubber band and then know to either knock if he really has to come in or go away and come back in half hour. All you have to do, Jason, is once you and Reenie go into the room to fool around is put the rubber band on the knob."
Both of them started to calm down and then immediately agreed it was a good compromise. Now, while my deed was seemingly altruistic I was actually setting Jason up. As I mentioned before, my dad was a rubber band salesman and I had in my possession a 4 foot rubber band. It was 4 feet long and about 2 inches wide and 1/4 inch thick. I believe my father sold them to be used to help seal barrel slats together during their creation but I'm not certain. I can tell you we sell something similar in my business for a completely different use. Their presence in my warehouse still reminds me of my devious prank to this day.
The next day I waited for Jason to take Reenie into his room. I left my door open so I could spot them walking past. Sure enough, at the same time as the day before, they walked hand in hand down the hall and then into Jason's room. Several minutes later I saw Jason (with his shirt off) peek his head out of the room and place the rubber band on the knob. I scurried down the hallway with my enormous rubber and pulled the old switcheroo.
Soon, (because of my telling everyone) a crowd of guys stood outside snickering and waiting to see what the reaction would be. Luckily, Craig was among the witnesses as he was visiting someone in another room. About 10 minutes later, Reenie emerged from the room (to go to the bathroom?) and saw the rubber band hitting the floor and going down the hall about 2 feet. She gave a perplexed look as guys from every room started to erupt with laughter. Realizing that she was now the center of attention for just having had sex, poor Reenie turned bright red, screamed at Jason that she was never coming back to his room and ran down the hall back towards the elevator. Jason came running out after her and was yelling what was the problem and then his peripheral vision caught the large rubber band.
His ire went immediately towards Craig, thinking that he had switched the bands out. Craig tried to send me up the river right away but I had already hid in my room with my door shut. I did have to fess up, however, in order to get my rubber band back. Jason did eventually become a friend of mine, as did Craig.
I try little pranks here and there, but none with such success as that rubber band provided for me. It was a flash of genius that hopefully someday will return.
It was the second semester of my freshman year. Two new guys had just moved into the empty room down the hall from where I roomed. Apparently, they were already good friends from high school and they requested that they room together. As most of us know now, there are two things that can ruin a good friendship- the first is living together and not then getting along. The second is when one gets a new girlfriend. At this period in their lives, Jason and Craig had to suddenly contend with both.
Jason was dating a girl named Reenie and his finally living away from his parent's house was a dream come true in the fact that he could have sex with her without fear of his parents walking in on them. Imagine his chagrin when Reenie got extremely mad and embarrassed when Craig walked in on them while she was half naked. After she stormed out of his room, Jason and Craig went into a loud screaming match in the hallway.
Jason basically argued that Craig should have to knock on the door before unlocking and entering the room. Craig rebuffed that he shouldn't have to knock on his own door and he should be able to come and go as he pleases. Their loud spat started to draw a crowd, including my attention as well. As I listened to them debate and observed Jason's face turn red I felt a twinge in the of my brain. It was telling me to do something awful as I was presented with the best set up.
Having briefly met Jason a week ago (we had walked to the local comic book shop together), I approached them and made a suggestion.
"Listen, you're both going all about this all wrong..." I sagely presented my advice, "You're both right, of course, Jason deserves privacy and Craig shouldn't have to knock on his own door every time he wants to get in. What you guys need is some sort of signal. I don't know....put something on the door knob...like...a rubber band!!"
I walked into their room and grabbed a rubber band from Craig's desk and placed it around the door knob.
"Look! See, now once Craig goes to unlock the door, he'll see the rubber band and then know to either knock if he really has to come in or go away and come back in half hour. All you have to do, Jason, is once you and Reenie go into the room to fool around is put the rubber band on the knob."
Both of them started to calm down and then immediately agreed it was a good compromise. Now, while my deed was seemingly altruistic I was actually setting Jason up. As I mentioned before, my dad was a rubber band salesman and I had in my possession a 4 foot rubber band. It was 4 feet long and about 2 inches wide and 1/4 inch thick. I believe my father sold them to be used to help seal barrel slats together during their creation but I'm not certain. I can tell you we sell something similar in my business for a completely different use. Their presence in my warehouse still reminds me of my devious prank to this day.
The next day I waited for Jason to take Reenie into his room. I left my door open so I could spot them walking past. Sure enough, at the same time as the day before, they walked hand in hand down the hall and then into Jason's room. Several minutes later I saw Jason (with his shirt off) peek his head out of the room and place the rubber band on the knob. I scurried down the hallway with my enormous rubber and pulled the old switcheroo.
Soon, (because of my telling everyone) a crowd of guys stood outside snickering and waiting to see what the reaction would be. Luckily, Craig was among the witnesses as he was visiting someone in another room. About 10 minutes later, Reenie emerged from the room (to go to the bathroom?) and saw the rubber band hitting the floor and going down the hall about 2 feet. She gave a perplexed look as guys from every room started to erupt with laughter. Realizing that she was now the center of attention for just having had sex, poor Reenie turned bright red, screamed at Jason that she was never coming back to his room and ran down the hall back towards the elevator. Jason came running out after her and was yelling what was the problem and then his peripheral vision caught the large rubber band.
His ire went immediately towards Craig, thinking that he had switched the bands out. Craig tried to send me up the river right away but I had already hid in my room with my door shut. I did have to fess up, however, in order to get my rubber band back. Jason did eventually become a friend of mine, as did Craig.
I try little pranks here and there, but none with such success as that rubber band provided for me. It was a flash of genius that hopefully someday will return.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
I'm an April fool
I have a devious mind at times and warped sense of humor. If you were to say that April Fool's day was meant for me specifically, you wouldn't be too far off. Every year I try to get someone fooled by a prank, most years I'm successful. My favorite one was when I saved the newspaper that we had delivered from April 1st, 1985 and woke up early on April 1st, 1986 and replaced the new one with the one from last year. It took my Dad 5 minutes to realize he was reading last year's news. The paper was slightly yellow, but he still got fooled. Generally speaking, I think we don't notice things out of the ordinary unless it's blatantly obvious.
That leads us to this year's prank and victim.
About 3 years ago I run into my ex-high school sweetheart, Karen at the local Toys R Us. Turns out that she lives about 5 minutes from me. A year later we run into each other at the Walmart, at this point we exchange emails to send pics of our kids to each other. We exchange pics but the correspondence stopped there.
Then last year I get an email about her Komen's women breast cancer walk on Mother's day and if would I like to sponsor her. It was a chain email that she probably sent to her entire email address book and I'm sure she wasn't even aware she had me on it. I decided to donate 50 bucks and left a note "anything for an old friend". She then emailed me back thanking me and we started to email each other during slow periods at work and we rekindled our friendship. There was no inclination for either of us to have an affair or anything like that. We've met with the kids a few times at the playground and she's come over my house twice for events and we went out together with our spouses a few weeks ago.
Today I sent her this email:
She called me up in less than 5 minutes and started to needle me because I fooled her.
Pranks are fun. I'll have to start planning next year's prank tomorrow.
That leads us to this year's prank and victim.
About 3 years ago I run into my ex-high school sweetheart, Karen at the local Toys R Us. Turns out that she lives about 5 minutes from me. A year later we run into each other at the Walmart, at this point we exchange emails to send pics of our kids to each other. We exchange pics but the correspondence stopped there.
Then last year I get an email about her Komen's women breast cancer walk on Mother's day and if would I like to sponsor her. It was a chain email that she probably sent to her entire email address book and I'm sure she wasn't even aware she had me on it. I decided to donate 50 bucks and left a note "anything for an old friend". She then emailed me back thanking me and we started to email each other during slow periods at work and we rekindled our friendship. There was no inclination for either of us to have an affair or anything like that. We've met with the kids a few times at the playground and she's come over my house twice for events and we went out together with our spouses a few weeks ago.
Today I sent her this email:
| I'm sorry I have to say this. So last night I had one of those knock down drag out fights with the wife. Eventually the subject of you popped up. I guess I didn't realize that Lynn was hiding alot of insecurity and jealousy. You and I both know that's there's nothing going on with us whatsoever aside from friendship and boredom at work, but for some reason she has really harbored some ill feelings that I email you so much and keep in touch with you. I will spare the details of our "spat" but unfortunately, Ive been put in a position that I feel is unfair to me and you but nonetheless I have no real choice as to what to do. I have to end our correspondences and keep our friendship on the back burner. I will still host the party in 2 weeks, but I understand if you feel uncomfortable to not want to come. I wish there was another way and I know it really sucks and I truly hope you understand that this is an April fool's joke and you've been had. I'm such a brat. Really, you didn't seriously believe that Lynn would act that way?! |
She called me up in less than 5 minutes and started to needle me because I fooled her.
Pranks are fun. I'll have to start planning next year's prank tomorrow.
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