There must be something weird I am doing for this to happen. But in the last two post season appearances the Phillies have made I've been witness to the aftermath of a serious accident.
Last year when the Phils played in game 1 against the Rockies (which they lost), I drove down to see the game with my wife. We were complaining about traffic on route 309 South the whole way down as it was really slow and I was getting worried because I didn't want to be late for the 1st playoff game in 14 years. We felt horrible about complaining because we eventually came upon a construction worker on the side of the road who had a sheet pulled over him. I have no idea if he had a heart attack or was the victim of an accident. Didn't really matter, as dead is dead.
This past Friday my friend Jeff and I were giddy with glee as we left our seats. The Phils had just won game 2 of the series against the Dodgers. But our mood soured quickly as we ventured out to the stairwell from section 419 to see a lifeless body laying on the concrete on the concourse of the 300 level. We overheard that just seconds before the poor guy had fallen over the railing that overhung the stairs and from about row 9. Just from eyeballing it, I'd say it was at least a 30 to 35 foor drop. The man had already had scores of people trying to help so I said to Jeff that it would be best to just get out of the way and not stand around and gape.
It wasn't until hours later I learned from a fellow poster at Backshegoes.com (who I sold the seats next to me and Jeff to) that when he came upon the scene that the man was moving his fingers and had a brace on him as they were putting him on the stretcher. Now, it's comforting to know the guy is alive, but he could be majorly fucked up. It seriously freaked me and Jeff out as we were somewhat silent on the car ride back, especially considering the Phillies just won a huge game.
Had he died from the fall it would have been the 4th fresh dead body I have seen. (I'm not counting funerals) The first was my mother after she gave up the ghost on a gloomy February morning while I was showering. My brother came downstairs to find her dead as we had her home for hospice care for her terminal cancer. My father, broter and I all sat on the couch and looked at her in shock even though we knew that this moment was coming any day.
The next dead guy I saw was at the Trevose train station. I was parked waiting for my girlfriend and future wife to come home from Jefferson university. I was doing a puzzle and heard the conductor screaming at the top of his lungs, "Aw FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!" I looked up and saw a man laying on the tracks behind the SEPTA train. Lynn had found out the next day from other commuters that the man was from New York and was in Philly on business. He was taking the Septa train from Philly to Trenton and catching NJ Transit from there. He had fallen asleep and misheard the announcement of the Trevose stop for Trenton. Once he was off the train he realized his mistake and jumped back on the train without his briefcase. He jumped off again for the briefcase but had fallen under the train and was crushed to death.
I don't really care to see another dead body. Despite the fact that a dead body can't do anything to me, it is a harsh reminder of our mortality. I'd rather blissfully ignore that cold, hard reality as much as I can. It may, however, be more important to remember that for no reason, like that guy who fell asleep on a train, that stupid shit can happen at any time, no matter how careful you are.
Ooops, is this another Carpe Diem post?
Showing posts with label carpe diem. Show all posts
Showing posts with label carpe diem. Show all posts
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Thursday, August 21, 2008
The Wheel of Misfortune
We travel through the bulk of our lives blissfully thinking that we are in control of our destiny. To some extent that feeling is true. Most hard work gets rewarded and most bad deeds get punished. However, the system of karma may not be quite as balanced as we perceive it to be. There are forces beyond our control that can radically or subtly (or somewhere in between) alter our destiny. Despite our best subconscious feeling that we can control our surroundings, the fickle finger of fate may strike at any moment and remind us that we are not in control. Most call this force God, as a poker player I call it variance.
Everyday, before we start out to run our lives, we have to give the wheel of misfortune a spin. Most things are unlikely to occur when you look at your chances on a one on one basis. It's extremely unlikely that I'll have a brain aneurysm today and it may be a better chance that I'll have a bad car crash but that's still very unlikely. It's even unlikely on any particular day for me get a flat tire. Let's say the odds are about 500 to 1 of that happening on any particular day. Any good gambler would love those odds. The problem is that we have to spin that wheel for all sorts of unlikely happenings often enough that it becomes likely for something unlikely to occur sometime in your life. We suffer small accidents that are more likely like that flat tire all the time. We have our stubbed toes and spilled milk to prove that variance effects our destiny, even if in a minor way. But we don't cry over them due to their relative insignificance.
It's big freak accidents or horrible diseases and disorders like MS and cancer that really change the path of our destinies. That flat tire can suddenly happen while you're driving 70 mph on the highway and cause your car to jump the median and straight onto an opposing car. A tornado can hit your house. You might wake up and spin the wheel and have a cell mutate into cancerous cell and you won't even know about it until 2 years later until you have 5 tumors in your colon. (That is if you don't get struck by lightning first.)
A good poker player does two things about variance- First, he does his best to reduce variance and put himself in situations to have the odds be more in his favor. He'll play better starting hands or use position or tells for when a bluff would be better utilized. The second thing is that he accepts that variance happens and understand it is a part of the game. If the poker player receives a bad beat from the lucky donk, he understands that such things will happen and stays emotionally calm and avoid "tilt" to get back in the game. (or he at least tries) Of course this should also apply in your view of variance as well. We try to attain more favorable odds by doing things like eating better, creating better medicines, not smoking, checking to make sure our tire pressure is within the proper psi range, and getting express written consent from major league baseball. The wiser of us also accepts variance and knows it is a part of life. If we survive what bad luck comes our way, it's best to get back in the game with emotional calm. It's best to do now what you want to do because you never know what the wheel will land on.
I suppose this is just thinly veiled carpe diem advice. As an athiest I know that no matter what we do that in the grand scheme of things it all means naught. But you can either sit around and wait for death with doom and gloom or at least have some fun while you're waiting. There's a reason the small phrase "carpe diem" survived in latin. It's old and it's true. That truth will survive as long as there is self awareness.
Everyday, before we start out to run our lives, we have to give the wheel of misfortune a spin. Most things are unlikely to occur when you look at your chances on a one on one basis. It's extremely unlikely that I'll have a brain aneurysm today and it may be a better chance that I'll have a bad car crash but that's still very unlikely. It's even unlikely on any particular day for me get a flat tire. Let's say the odds are about 500 to 1 of that happening on any particular day. Any good gambler would love those odds. The problem is that we have to spin that wheel for all sorts of unlikely happenings often enough that it becomes likely for something unlikely to occur sometime in your life. We suffer small accidents that are more likely like that flat tire all the time. We have our stubbed toes and spilled milk to prove that variance effects our destiny, even if in a minor way. But we don't cry over them due to their relative insignificance.
It's big freak accidents or horrible diseases and disorders like MS and cancer that really change the path of our destinies. That flat tire can suddenly happen while you're driving 70 mph on the highway and cause your car to jump the median and straight onto an opposing car. A tornado can hit your house. You might wake up and spin the wheel and have a cell mutate into cancerous cell and you won't even know about it until 2 years later until you have 5 tumors in your colon. (That is if you don't get struck by lightning first.)
A good poker player does two things about variance- First, he does his best to reduce variance and put himself in situations to have the odds be more in his favor. He'll play better starting hands or use position or tells for when a bluff would be better utilized. The second thing is that he accepts that variance happens and understand it is a part of the game. If the poker player receives a bad beat from the lucky donk, he understands that such things will happen and stays emotionally calm and avoid "tilt" to get back in the game. (or he at least tries) Of course this should also apply in your view of variance as well. We try to attain more favorable odds by doing things like eating better, creating better medicines, not smoking, checking to make sure our tire pressure is within the proper psi range, and getting express written consent from major league baseball. The wiser of us also accepts variance and knows it is a part of life. If we survive what bad luck comes our way, it's best to get back in the game with emotional calm. It's best to do now what you want to do because you never know what the wheel will land on.
I suppose this is just thinly veiled carpe diem advice. As an athiest I know that no matter what we do that in the grand scheme of things it all means naught. But you can either sit around and wait for death with doom and gloom or at least have some fun while you're waiting. There's a reason the small phrase "carpe diem" survived in latin. It's old and it's true. That truth will survive as long as there is self awareness.
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