Barack to the Future

Today's inauguration speech will probably be considered one of the greats. I'll leave it to history to see if it's as great as Kennedy's, Lincoln's, and FDR's inaugural addresses. Personally, I thought there were some great moments and phrases and hope that he can come through on his promises. As with any great speech, there usually exists a few phrases that one can point to as the keys to what the speaker wants us to come away with. As much as I try to keep my blog apolitical, I few compelled to discuss some of what I got out his speech today.

On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn out dogmas, that for far too long have strangled our politics.

The first part of Obama's speech was actually rather dour. He went on with a laundry list of problems and ails of the country's current state of war, the looming depression and poor health care and educational systems. He then brought hope back in and told us that with hard work and dedication we would eventually make our country great again. What was most interesting about this part of the speech was that he promised that his administration would be different. We could count on them to do the right thing and not what is best for their political lobbies and parties. This above anything else, I think, may be the most significant promise of the speech.

Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions - who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage.

The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works - whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end. And those of us who manage the public's dollars will be held to account - to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day - because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government.

The libertarian in me is screaming at these two parts. But the pragmatic reality is that government is big and has been big since before World War II and it's probably impossible to put the genie back in the bottle now. If it is true that he is willing to end wasteful programs and foster the programs that work then I can live better knowing that. I am not for the big brother type of politics where we ask our government to help us in every facet of our society but if he can trim the fat and bolster that programs that work and are less intrusive to our business and capitalism then I will support his view. I also applaud his little dig at Cheney and Haliburton at the end of this segment. However, I will say that Cheney did do his business in the light of day and still got away with it.

As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals.

We are the keepers of this legacy. Guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort - even greater cooperation and understanding between nations.

Amen!!

Finally after seven years of the Patriot act, illegal wire tapping, water-boarding and torture, and Guantanamo Bay and the lack of due process, someone finally is stepping up and saying no more, If we are to espouse certain ideals and freedoms, we need to live by and execute them- even in the direst of situations and fear of our safety. Not only can we live with ourselves after the threat has passed but we can hold our heads high in front of the world and be joined by allies who are inspired by these actions.

For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus - and non-believers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.

Obama walks the line of being able to flaunt his bi-racial heritage and not alienate the dominant culture very well. He did it throughout the campaign and I believe that his diverse background will be a great asset to his presidency. The ceiling is now broken and I think he will bring everyone he can with him.

Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends - hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism - these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility - a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task.

There is some Kennedy thrown in here for sure. It's also probably the last time a president had the guts to ask his constituency for hard work since Carter failed at asking Americans to wear sweaters. I hope we haven't become too fat, lazy and entitled to fail to meet his challenge.

Mr. President, your clock has just started now. Let's get to work and see what you can do. I hope I am not let down by your words and I hope your promises and promise are what you say they are.

A bailout package we all can agree on

Today's economy is as bad as it's ever been in my lifetime. The government's answer so far has been to grab the credit card, call the bank to increase the spending limit and then go out on a shopping spree that would make Paris Hilton blush. Despite this seemingly illogical solution, the experts on TV all tell us that will help our situation. I sure do wish that I could do something similar if I run into bad times.

"Hello, Capital One? I just got laid off, can you increase my limit to $100,000 so I can stimulate myself?"

Nevertheless, it seems like the executive of the month club has come out to beg congress for bailout money. First the banks and their bad mortgages had their hands out with their sad sack stories and next the Detroit automakers were crying poor since they can't seem to make product that people desire. The amount of money being doled out is staggering to think about. Yet, those smarty-pants TV experts are claiming it's just the beginning. I know to expect some increases in spending when a democrat gets elected for president but the man hasn't even set his foot in the White House door yet.

Times are tough all over and most of us know of someone who has either lost their job recently or themselves are experiencing a pinch. Even the Arena Football League almost closed their doors recently and retracted a team in order to stay afloat. Has it really gotten this bad? How can we continue to function as a society without Arena Football? There's a time period come the third week of February when the NFL season is over, the Flyers and Sixers are mostly out of contention and it's not time yet for spring training.

Arena Football helps fill that gap.
It completes us.
It makes us whole.

Perhaps, we can even credit the Philadelphia Soul's recent championship season as the ice breaker that led us to a Phillies' World Series trophy. They showed them how to do it as we've seemed to forget how to win as a city since since 1983. We simply cannot let Jon Bon Jovi and Ron Jaworski (the co-owners of the Soul) out in the cold after their heroic deeds.

As a child of the 80's, I say when New Jersey's second most popular rock star and the Polish Cannon needs assistance, we help them. An idea as brilliant as indoor football cannot be allowed to languish on the vine. Mom always said not to play ball in the house (OW! My nose!!), but she didn't know the joys of watching the spectacle that is Arena Football. Besides, if we're going to let our elected officials spend trillions of our great-great-grandchildren's hard earned wages then why not let them spend it on something that's at least less trivial than saving the Chevy Aveo?

It would be a mere pittance. Imagine if we all chipped in 25 cents. I've spent more on wishing wells (wishing for a World Series trophy). Arena Football needs financial assistance and we need government pork to save it. Don't let the players go back to their full-time jobs at UPS and the meat processing plant. They need the extra money as they entertain us on the stage made of carpet and plexi-glass. Bon Jovi gave us Wanted, don't you think it's time we paid him back?

Poll Vaulting

In some ways you have to feel sorry for telemarketers and pollsters. The poor schmucks are forced to read from a script and can't really stray from it. They also have to get as many calls in as possible. More calls means more contacts and more contacts means more results or sales. I question the logic of a mid-level manager making their telephone people work so fast as often the person talks so fast and with such monotone that they sound like the end of a radio commercial for an auto dealership. "Taxestagsandregistrationfeesareextra$200amonthleaseisbasedonhighercreditscoresthantheaverageperson
listeningtothissportsradiostationandrequires5thousanddollarsdownplusyourfirstbornsonifyoudonothaveasonto
tradeinthenyourspermwillbecollectedandusedtoourlikingwealsoreservetherighttogeneticallymanipulateyour
spermtocreateasuperraceofcarsalesmenandfasttalkers."

The problem, of course, is when such a person ends up getting me on the phone while I am in a slightly manic mood....

The week before we left for our trip to Florida, I received a call asking me if I had 10 minutes to answer a few questions about the upcoming election. It was my first political poll ever and I was excited to get my opinions heard on the latest national trackers. My hopes were dashed rather quickly when I realized I had a fast talker who couldn't deviate from his script. Here for your entertainment is the paraphrased conversation that we had.

Pollster: Are you a male between the ages of 26-50?

Me: yes

Pollster: Are you a permanent resident of Pennsylvania?

Me: yes

Pollster: On a scale of 1 to 10, where 10 means very likely and 1 means very unlikely, how likely are you to vote in the upcoming election on November 4th?

Me: I don't know how to answer that, I've already voted by absentee ballot.

Pollster: 10 is very likely and 1 is very unlikely

Me: Well, it's not a matter of likelihood, it's a matter of certainty at this point.

Pollster (starting to realize he's run into some trouble): Excuse me?

Me: If you want to ask me how certain I am that I've voted in the election then you can put me down down as a 9, but that's only because I don't trust the postman- he can be cranky at times.

Pollster: well, we're asking how likely it is that you'll vote in the election coming up on the 4th of November.

Me: ..and I'm informing you that I've already voted since I will be away on the 4th and sent in an absentee ballot, so it's not really about how likely it is as it's already happened. Isn't there an option for already voted?

Pollster: No, you must answer on a scale between 1 and 10, with 1 being very...

Me (interrupting him): Yes, yes, I know, but since you can't seem to deviate from the script, we'll compromise and say that I am a 10 and I am very likely to vote in the upcoming election, even though it would technically be a lie.

Pollster (breathes a sigh of relief): Next question, on a scale of 1 to 10, where 10 means very likely and 1 means very unlikely, how likely are you to vote for Barack Obama in the upcoming election on November 4th?

Me: Well, again it's not a matter of likelihood here as I've already voted for...

Pollster: CLICK

Me: Hello? Hello?


Guess, he felt he could hit his quota with someone less demanding. No wonder the polls are never very accurate.

Things that are 100% Real American

I've tried my best to avoid politics in my blog but every now and then, I see or hear something that just gets my goat enough to say something. Lately, the republicans have been throwing the words "Real American" around as if it means rural, God-fearing, hunting on the weekends, and hard working blue collar, white men. In an effort to create an us against them type of attitude they've dangerously crafted an atmosphere of not-so-subtle racism and anti-intellectualism. I honestly don't know if they're just trying to fire up the base or if they honestly think that they can appeal to undecided voters with such clap-trap.

So, in a an effort to clarify what is indeed a real American, the following is a list of things that are completely 100% American.


Jazz

Movies

Blues

Rap

Comic strips and books

Square dancing

Disco

Cowboys

Rock N Roll

Peanut-butter

Mickey Mouse

Bugs Bunny

Fake Poop gags

Skateboards

Mohawks

Blue Crab

TastyKake

Coca-Cola

Democrats

Republicans

Grits

Hippies

EDIT: Baseball & Poker (sheesh, how could I forget my two favorite hobbies?)




I could go on, but my point remains the same. That's quite an eclectic list and it includes all ethnic groups and by nature all American culture is a mixture or melding of different cultures.

So, please, let's cut the crap and stop talking about "Real Americans" as if it applies to one distinct group of people. The last thing we need to do is to divide ourselves instead of what real Americans actually do best- which is work and live together while maintaining in our own diversity.

Which asshole doesn't stink so much?

With the conventions looming upon us in the next few weeks, the vice president nominee being announced any day, and the ad campaigns starting to heat up a bit you know it's that time again. Like the Olympics (which also comes the same every 4 years), you can't avoid the hype of the presidential race.

Unlike the Olympics, which at least offers up some positive storylines (ie. MICHAEL PHELPS IS THE GREATEST OLYMPIAN EVER....EVER.....EVER...EVER!!!), the presidential race tends to get a bit nasty. Political messages and advertisements tend to be why you shouldn't vote for the other guy and never too often about why you should vote for that candidate. The American public is ultimately left to vote for the lesser of two evils or for whomever they dislike less.

Having watched most of the John Adams miniseries on dvd (yeah, I'm a bit late on that..), I found it funny (funny strange, not funny haha) that the candidates did not campaign for themselves in the early years of our country under the new constitution. Perhaps it's because the eligible voters back then were just the land owners and campaigning was done more behind closed doors and by proxy. Strangely enough our system today has become eerily similar is some vein as the candidates often have "others" do the dirty work for them.

If you notice at the end of most positive ads (ie. "boring ads"), there is a message that sounds something like this- "I'm Mike Hunt and I approve this message." Not too often is there a really negative ad (like the outright lies of the swiftboat ads that helped bring down Kerry) that comes directly from the candidate himself. Those are the ads that stem from 527's. In a nutshell, the 527's are political non-profit groups that can avoid all of that fun legal mumbo jumbo on campaign financing when it comes to a what a candidate can and cannot do to get money or do with that money. What ends up happening are groups that support certain candidates and make all sorts of nasty ads about how their opponent would be horrible for their cause.

So, essentially, a candidate can turn a blind eye to these ads and have his hands be clean. The public meanwhile gets to see the smearing, slandering, and mud throwing that any WWE fan could ever want and more.

After all this name calling and negative campaigning the public is left the choice between a giant douche bag and a turd sandwich. (as South Park so brilliantly put it 4 years ago)