Thursday, December 11, 2008

A bailout package we all can agree on

Today's economy is as bad as it's ever been in my lifetime. The government's answer so far has been to grab the credit card, call the bank to increase the spending limit and then go out on a shopping spree that would make Paris Hilton blush. Despite this seemingly illogical solution, the experts on TV all tell us that will help our situation. I sure do wish that I could do something similar if I run into bad times.

"Hello, Capital One? I just got laid off, can you increase my limit to $100,000 so I can stimulate myself?"

Nevertheless, it seems like the executive of the month club has come out to beg congress for bailout money. First the banks and their bad mortgages had their hands out with their sad sack stories and next the Detroit automakers were crying poor since they can't seem to make product that people desire. The amount of money being doled out is staggering to think about. Yet, those smarty-pants TV experts are claiming it's just the beginning. I know to expect some increases in spending when a democrat gets elected for president but the man hasn't even set his foot in the White House door yet.

Times are tough all over and most of us know of someone who has either lost their job recently or themselves are experiencing a pinch. Even the Arena Football League almost closed their doors recently and retracted a team in order to stay afloat. Has it really gotten this bad? How can we continue to function as a society without Arena Football? There's a time period come the third week of February when the NFL season is over, the Flyers and Sixers are mostly out of contention and it's not time yet for spring training.

Arena Football helps fill that gap.
It completes us.
It makes us whole.

Perhaps, we can even credit the Philadelphia Soul's recent championship season as the ice breaker that led us to a Phillies' World Series trophy. They showed them how to do it as we've seemed to forget how to win as a city since since 1983. We simply cannot let Jon Bon Jovi and Ron Jaworski (the co-owners of the Soul) out in the cold after their heroic deeds.

As a child of the 80's, I say when New Jersey's second most popular rock star and the Polish Cannon needs assistance, we help them. An idea as brilliant as indoor football cannot be allowed to languish on the vine. Mom always said not to play ball in the house (OW! My nose!!), but she didn't know the joys of watching the spectacle that is Arena Football. Besides, if we're going to let our elected officials spend trillions of our great-great-grandchildren's hard earned wages then why not let them spend it on something that's at least less trivial than saving the Chevy Aveo?

It would be a mere pittance. Imagine if we all chipped in 25 cents. I've spent more on wishing wells (wishing for a World Series trophy). Arena Football needs financial assistance and we need government pork to save it. Don't let the players go back to their full-time jobs at UPS and the meat processing plant. They need the extra money as they entertain us on the stage made of carpet and plexi-glass. Bon Jovi gave us Wanted, don't you think it's time we paid him back?

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