Santa is a gateway drug to atheisism

We've all heard the rumors, Santa Claus is not who we all think he is and is in fact evil incarnate. All of the evidence is there-

• Santa is an anagram of Satan
• Claus is a homonym of claws
• He wears a red suit
• He is impervious to fire (goes down a chimney)
  
• He distracts us from the real reason we have Christmas (To celebrate the birth of our lord and savior) by enticing us with sinful pleasures filled with gluttony and greed.

While the evidence does seem clear, I am taking the contrarian position and that the whole Santa story and eventual unveiling actually contributes to producing more atheists. While the fundamentalists will claim that creating atheists is evil, non-belief is actually the opposite of belief.

Think about why Santa causes us to doubt religion- You tell your children that a magical and wonderful man exists and he will, at no cost or expectation of payment other than "good" behavior (which the child learns quickly that bad behavior is forgotten if they are good for a few days before Xmas) , deliver them lots of toys and goodies. All of the TV shows and movies stress that faith and belief in his existence is a big requirement. Plus that no matter the problem or long odds that Santa faces, he always manages to somehow "save" Christmas.

Sound familiar?

• God-like powers
• Will do good things to those who deserve it (and people who are contrite at the last minute)
  
• Faith is required and one should ignore others who say differently or ask for proof
• He is the savior

You don't need a 12th grade AP English teacher to tell you what Santa actually represents!!

Eventually, little Bobby and Susie learn the truth about Santa and that he is actually their hard working parents. There are no little elves at the north pole but little Chinese men halfway around the world in factories assembling their toys for companies and conglomerates. You couldn't ask for better PR for Godlessness!!

The rest of the holiday magic then falls like a stack of dominoes-

Tooth Fairy? -NO- it's just bribery from your parents so you don't go walking around with your baby teeth in your pocket as it's creepy.

Easter Bunny? NO- don't be foolish Hershey, Cadbury and M&M Mars all act in collusion and came up with the story to sell more chocolate.

Halloween Ghosts? NO- Fear increases the metabolism and an intense desire for high carbs causing one to go begging at the neighbors for candy. Eventually, the chocolatiers came up with trick or treating.

New Year's baby? NO- people just tend to be horny in the spring.

Valentine's true love? NO- the biggest sham of them all as people still cling to this. Again the chocolatiers manufactured this holiday to boost sales in February, Hallmark also capitalized on it as well.

Yet after all of the magic is gone we are still expected to believe that while the whole Santa and his related kin of magical holiday creatures was all a big lie, Jesus is still real and that the biggest prize of eternal life is still coming to you?

Let's just say that I'm amazed that there aren't more atheists like me.