Wednesday, April 23, 2008

The birthday blues

April 24th is my birthday- brace yourselves for a "woe is me" kind of entry!!

I think since I've turned 30 I've looked less and less forward to birthdays to the point where I start to dread them. Tomorrow I turn 38. While it's no milestone birthday, it still sounds incredibly old to me. Besides, with my 10th wedding anniversary and 20th high school reunion approaching this year, I don't think I could stomach another milestone like turning 40. (like my brother did 2 months ago)

While I realize tomorrow I'm just another day older, the event itself is like a hard poke to your side ribs and a lingering painful reminder of my mortality. Despite the best efforts of my wife and kids to make me happy, I'm sure I''ll end up being a dour piece of ungrateful shit during the whole festive event. This, of course, will lead to Lynn getting upset that she can't make me happy and she'll get all pissy as well. At least misery loves company?

If I get this crummy when I turn 38 just imagine how hard "mid-life" crisis is going to hit me when I get to be in my 50's. (altho-technically if I live to 76 like I'm supposed to then I'm in "mid-life" right now.) I sure hope I'll have enough money to blow on hookers and exotic sports cars or else I may just have to become a serial killer that goes around killing people in their 20's because I'm jealous of their youthfulness and vitality.

Also- please spare me your "38 is the new 28" and "you're only as old as you feel" comments. I will hunt you down by your IP address and get an early start on my new psychotic career.

Happy fucking birthday to me.


Paul said...

I used to be like you, but I got older. I've been able to enjoy my last two birthdays. Since there's nothing you can do about it, you might as well take advantage of the situation. Your wife and kids should treat you extra special--a breakfast with bacon and/or sausage is just the beginning for me on my birthday. There will be cake as well. And then, on the Saturday nearest my birthday, we will do things I like--eat wings and drink beer. No arguments.

You're especially lucky to have a birthday during baseball season. There's a lot more ways you can be indulged than there are in December.

Brian said...

I don't get cake anymore because there's always leftover cake from my son's birthday 3 days prior to mine. He's stolen my birthday thunder, so to speak. Not that I care anymore, he's a kid and birthdays are supposed to be fun for kids- so he can have all the attention he wants, it keeps people away from me when I'm feeling moody from my birthday.

Paul said...

My birthday is three days before my dad's. I wonder if he was bitter about that.

He liked cake though, so mom always made him one.

Brian said...

I aint bitter!!

That little fucker can have his cake and eat it too for all I care!!!