April 24th is my birthday- brace yourselves for a "woe is me" kind of entry!!
I think since I've turned 30 I've looked less and less forward to birthdays to the point where I start to dread them. Tomorrow I turn 38. While it's no milestone birthday, it still sounds incredibly old to me. Besides, with my 10th wedding anniversary and 20th high school reunion approaching this year, I don't think I could stomach another milestone like turning 40. (like my brother did 2 months ago)
While I realize tomorrow I'm just another day older, the event itself is like a hard poke to your side ribs and a lingering painful reminder of my mortality. Despite the best efforts of my wife and kids to make me happy, I'm sure I''ll end up being a dour piece of ungrateful shit during the whole festive event. This, of course, will lead to Lynn getting upset that she can't make me happy and she'll get all pissy as well. At least misery loves company?
If I get this crummy when I turn 38 just imagine how hard "mid-life" crisis is going to hit me when I get to be in my 50's. (altho-technically if I live to 76 like I'm supposed to then I'm in "mid-life" right now.) I sure hope I'll have enough money to blow on hookers and exotic sports cars or else I may just have to become a serial killer that goes around killing people in their 20's because I'm jealous of their youthfulness and vitality.
Also- please spare me your "38 is the new 28" and "you're only as old as you feel" comments. I will hunt you down by your IP address and get an early start on my new psychotic career.
Happy fucking birthday to me.