Thursday, September 11, 2008

I'm the Son of Sam of the goldfish world

I either have no clue as to the correct care of goldfish or experience the worst luck in goldfish health conditions. This past Saturday my wife went to go change the water and clean the tank and she found poor Whitey was floating at the top. His lifeless body caught in the filter.


That's now 4 fish in approximately 3 months. I am at a higher ratio than 1 fish per month. While that's no shakes to people who live in Japan or to those rough and tumble fellows you see on Deadliest Catch, I get the feeling that goldfish feel as if I am the angel of death. I fear the next time I go to the pet store to pick out a replacement that the fish will all cower in the back and low corner of the tank or perhaps behind the shipwreck or the bubbly diver head.

If the Fish Police ever come to arrest me then I will claim insanity and tell them that my dog is Satan and told me to do it. One look at Brutus and you'll know instantly that his gaze hypnotizes you into anything he wants you to do. I often feel myself losing control as he looks at you with puppy dog eyes. It's no wonder that I may be killing fish and doing his bidding.

Brutus can't stand sharing his attention with other pets. If you ever want to call Brutus all you have to do is start petting our other dog, Sammy and he comes running. He'll jump in bewteen you and poor Sam so that he gets all the lovin'. So, I admit, it's possible that Brutus has somehow pulled a Manchurian Candidate on me and I've been killing the goldfish with my lack of knowledge and consent.

You try looking into those eyes...and feel your eyelids getting are getting sleepy...sleepy...

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