Limiting one's strategy

Last night I donked out by the 1st break in a tourney at Lottery Larry's house. I was already getting short stacked and was on the cut off position (the seat right before the button) with no one in the pot yet. It didn't matter what cards I had as I needed to pick up the blinds and this was a rare pot that had no one entering in from early position. (I had 10 8 off suit) I went all in and prayed no one would wake up with a real hand and just then the host himself starting counting out his chips. It looked like he might call but was worried that he wouldn't be left with alot of chips if he lost as he was counting the stack that he would have left if he called. I held out hope that he would fold.

Well, my read was completely erroneous and he was counting his remaining chips so he could announce his all in re-raise. I figured I was pretty much cooked after that announcement, but it turned out to be a good thing for me as he pushed out the big blind who showed pocket 9's as he folded.

Lottery Larry tabled his pocket 4's.

I was elated to have 2 overs and an near coin flip situation to double up and stay alive. I queried as to why he went ape with the pocket fours and he seemed to have a superstition about "the power of 4". I guess he's either a Charmed fan (and got it wrong- it's the power of 3) or has unusual positive expected value with pocket 4's. Usually, I say that superstition is bad luck, but the flop was unkind to me as was the turn and river and I was sent to the rail before the night was still young.

This was becoming a regular situation for me this year and I don't know if I've been unlucky or just playing poorly. I'll have to reassess my play when I have more time and try to recall situations and see if I acted too early with my pushes.

Shortly after my exit I played in a side cash limit game that was a rotation between Hold 'em and Omaha. Omaha is a cruel mistress when played as limit. As hard as it is to push out people drawing in no-limit or pot-limit, it's a damned near miracle to chase anyone out when you have the stone cold nuts on the flop and vulnerable to the flush or full house.

The one hand that almost had me as a tilt monkey the rest of the night I had KdKhTdAh. I was double suited, paired up and on the button in great position, so I raised. Of course, everyone called including the blinds. The flop came Qs Jc 9h. I had the nut King high straight. It was bet, so I raised and everyone called! The turn was still safe but started to get dangerous as an 8s peeled off. It was checked to me so I had to bet and of course everyone called. I guess I should feel fortunate that I was getting a big pot for such a strong hand, but I just knew that the river was going to kill me with so many people still in the hand. Another jack hit the table.

Fudge

It was bet and I really had no choice but to donate and call. Of course I lost to the full house held by a James Caan look-alike. At least he didn't go all Sonny on me and have me whacked.

Considering I have not played limit in a long time, I did make a nice recovery. Maybe I was just getting lucky but I felt like I was making some nice bets and check raises at the correct times and maximizing my profits. I was ahead when I should have left and started to get some cold cards when I stayed a bit too long. I did just about break even for the game. The silver lining was that I donked off some chips to Larry's wife, so both my host and hostess benefited from my appearance. I hope they repay the favor if they come to my cash game in April.

The Easter Bunny has ulterior motives

As nerve racking being the tooth fairy can be, being Santa or the Easter Bunny has it's perks. The Easter Bunny is starting to develop a reputation in our house for bringing some candy that my kids don't really like but my wife and I do. What a stinker he is! How dare he bring jelly beans, Almond Joys and Cadbury creme eggs! He even had the audacity to leave Peeps last year, a candy that no one in the family likes with the exception of moi.

That is until I heard Gabriel utter the phrase yesterday that he now likes Peeps. I'm starting to wonder if the Easter Bunny should leave any Peeps and just let them sit in our garage and get stale since they taste better that way anyways. Peeps are better as they age and get a little chewiness to them and "bite". However, you cant let them age too long or else you have little ceramic like bunnies and chicks that look gaudy.

BTW- Has anyone else noticed that the Cadbury creme eggs are getting smaller? A little video snippet from the Conan O'Brien show seems to prove that we're right!!

The Harrington books are here!

As mentioned before, I am anxiously awaiting the arrival of the 2 books written by Dan Harrington on playing cash games in poker. Unfortunately, I'm getting these books for my birthday from my dad so I'll have to wait another month. Until then I've been reading the free excerpts on the 2+2 website and they just had him as a guest on their podcast.

Dan has already written what has fast become considered the no-limit hold 'em tournament bibles. I hope the cash books live up to the hype, and I think they will. Unless, if any of you reading this blog post play poker with me, in that case- I'm sure these books will suck and you should avoid them at all costs.

I do have a cash game coming up at my house in Early April, so for those interested, drop me a line.

Time to brag about my son

My oldest son Jonathan is 9 1/2 years old. He's always drawing his favorite cartoon characters and Pokemons and dinosaurs. He's actually very good for his age. He's been good ever since he could draw. If you ask me, he draws better than most adults. Yesterday, I saw him drawing and he was copying a picture of a Dalmatian puppy he had in a book. (copying from freehand, not tracing the picture) After he was done the picture, he drew his own background and gave the dog toys, food and even a fun portrait was hung on the wall. He did this picture in less than 10 minutes.

Needless to say, I'm beaming with pride as his talent seems to be getting more refined and mature. I may have to find a way to sqeeze in art lessons between his swimming, karate and piano lessons.

The Beer Man Called!!!

Now being served in my basement:

Help! My wife is becoming an addict!

My wife, Lynn, is not a fan of video games. I think her dislike stems largely from the fact that she isn't very good at them. I must admit that once you get past an Atari joystick, with its one button and one motion control that most controllers, with it's 6 buttons, 2 motion controllers and 2 triggers, can seem daunting to those who don't wish to keep practicing. So once she heard that the Wii is more intuitive with its motion detector from her coworkers (a bunch of 50+ women), she started to express her desire for us to get a Wii. One mention was all it took for me and I immediately starting seeking one out. (see previous blog)

When I bought the Wii I purchased 2 games to go along with it aside from the fun sports games that it comes with- Super Mario Galaxy and Wii Carnival. The Carnival game I bought because it had skee ball in it and my wife loves to play skee ball whenever we're at the shore or at an amusement park. I figure it would best to keep her happy when it came to the Wii so she wouldn't feel buyer's remorse if the bulk of games weren't up her alley. (excuse the pun)

Lynn works the graveyard shift at a local hospital as a lab tech. So if you're in the ER in the middle of the night for crashing your car while DUI, she may be the one who's testing your urine to see how drunk you are. She may also be the one who types your blood so you get the much needed replenishment from all of your bleeding from your massive head injuries, you dumb ass! (Driving drunk, what were you thinking?!) The schedule works out fine while our kids are young. She gets home at 8am, just when I need to leave for work, and puts them on the bus at 8:45am and then goes to sleep until 4pm, when they get home. No day care expenses is a wonderful thing.

The problem is that she needs to get to sleep right after the kiddies leave. It's barely 7 hours if she were to fall asleep right away but usually she needs to wind down a touch and she's happy to fall asleep at 9:30am.

The past week and a half I have been getting calls at work around 10:30am from her. The tone of her voice is the frantic type of ranting that most spouses recognize as when to shut up, listen as best as one can, and then reassure them despite what one thinks. (because if one doesn't then you can kiss sex good bye for at least a week.) I tried my best to keep up with what she was saying and I heard bits and pieces like, "...I can get the ball in the 100 point hole when I snap the remote against my shoulder.." and "..knock all of the clowns down with the ball.." and "...but, no, the damn remote won't fucking respond the way it should..." It was becoming apparent that she is getting addicted to the Carnival game.

The first few calls I figured she was just blowing off steam from a hard night's work. Now I am getting worried that if the trend continues I may fear for my and my children's safety. I can just imagine her forcibly grabbing a remote from their hands and hissing, "Mine! I'm the one who worked hard into the nights for this!! My precioussssss!!" I worry that on the nights when she's off and that she's in bed with me, that she may start wildly flailing her arms around in her sleep as if she were trying to get the damn ball into the stupid fucking 100 point hole. I may suffer a serious eye injury or worse she may impale my crotch as she's trying to bang the remote.

As a crazy person, I readily recognize crazy behavior in others. Obsessing over an activity that causes your endorphin levels to rise is something that is no stranger to me. I am a poker addict and I used to be a smoker. I wish I knew how to stop her from self-destruction, but alas, nothing really worked for me until I hit rock bottom. I guess I'll have to idly stand by and wait until she falls so that I can catch her.

I wonder which will come first- rock bottom or getting the stupid fucking ball in the Goddamned 100 point hole?

Grandson of 6 degrees of Napster

Okay, same rules as before, but this time we'll start with a group I don't care for all that much and see if we can make our way towards a cool band or singer.



We'll start with a 80's hair band that my wife loved as a girl- Poison. Besides watching Bret Michaels being pathetic on VH1's Rock of Love, their music was filled with overall crappiness and banality. So let's see if Every Rose has it's Thorn, shall we?


1) People who enjoy Poison also enjoy Twister Sister.

I admit that I liked We're Not Gonna Take It, but that's probably because of the video... At least Dee Snyder is kinda cool and isn't pretentious at all. An improvement but we have a long ways to go still.

2) People who enjoy Twisted Sister also enjoy Alice Cooper.

How ironic, Alice's biggest hit (and most annoying song) is titled Poison. Alice did have some decent tunes in the 70's and apparently is a decent golfer, go figure...

3) People who enjoy Alice Cooper also enjoy Foreigner.

Huh? I guess, I'm used to the 80's Foreigner. Foreigner did have some stuff in the 70's that would be considered more heavy metallish than I Want To Know What Love Is.

4) People who enjoy Foreigner also enjoy Hall and Oates.

Sara Smile is a very cool song and one of these guys is from Philly (the one who looks like Baba Booey?), but I just can't get past Out of Touch to consider this a success yet.

5) People who enjoy Hall and Oates also enjoy The Cars.

Ric Ocasek is one very ugly mother-fucker. But the dude had so many big hits that he scored with Sports Illustrated super swim-wear model, Paulina Porizkova. (Billy Joel also bagged Christie Brinkley around the same time.) Even though the band oozed cool, I was never a huge fan. While I usually won't flip the radio when Drive or Just What I Needed comes on, I don't actively seek their songs out.

6) People who enjoy The Cars also enjoy Talking Heads.

Success!! I love the Talking Heads. And She Was is one of my favorites; Psycho Killer and Once in a Lifetime are great as well. I could listen to entire albums of theirs.


So we made it from mediocrity to something special. Hair to slick new wave. Whodathunk it?

The Phillies are just plain tapped out....

I'm just imagining that the Phillies are like a hobo with his pockets turned inside out and his shoulders shrugged, all the while a violin plays some whiny and sad music.

Apparently, despite all of the pitching woes that they are experiencing during spring training, the Phils just can't afford another 4 million dollars for another starter that's readily available. (Kyle Lohse)

"We don't have any interest in him," assistant general manager Ruben Amaro Jr. said of the free agent, a former Phillie. "The fact of the matter is we may not have the dollars and cents to do something like that at this time."

The Phillies have a payroll that could exceed $106 million on opening day, which would be a franchise record. So even if Lohse is seeking a one-year, $4 million deal, they are not interested.

So I guess they'll be trotting out some really bad pitching this year. The Durbin boys, Travis Blackley and Rosario are our best options for the 5th spot (and Kendrick may be falling back down to earth, cross your fingers he rebounds later this spring) since Eaton is a lemon and I'm glad he'll end up on the DL anyways.

Here's hoping we score 12 runs a game....

First an extra day of work and now we lose an hour of sleep?!

WTF?!

Just recently I had to work an extra day without additional pay (see leap year post), now you're telling me that this weekend we have to lose an hour of sleep because we have to "spring forward"?!!

Who was the Einstein who thought up this friggin' bright idea? It's the middle of the night and we're supposed to skip ahead an hour?!

Hey!! I have an idea!! - here's what we should do instead!

When it's time in the spring to set the clocks ahead an hour, how 'bout we do it at 4pm on a Friday?! That way the large majority of us will get to go home an extra hour early!

Brilliant!!!

But NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! Those evil corporate bastards would never go for that idea and they would never let their political lobbies allow their paid off congressmen and senators vote for such an idea.



sigh

He without schmaltz cast the first tease

I've been getting some flack about having "Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head" on my mp3 player as posted on yesterday's blog entry.

Let me get this out in the open now.

Everyone secretly likes some sort of sappy or syrupy entertainment whether it be music or a show or a movie or what have you that is largely considered by the public as schmaltzy.

Aside from having "Mandy" by Barry Manilow on my mp3 player, I always stop to watch Riverdance when I'm flipping or enjoy some QVC or infomercials. I'll sing along to "Afternoon Delight" by the Starland Express if I hear it and sometimes I'm in the mood to listen to Olivia Newton John, Dammit!!

So if you say that you don't like anything that's "uncool", I don't believe you, you fucking liar.

My mp3 player is reading my mind!!

I realize that this sounds completely made up or I've gone off the deep end (finally!!) but I swear on my left testicle that it's true.

This morning when I was ready to leave for work it was pouring rain. Dummy me, I left my umbrella in my car, so I had to make a break for it and I got soaked as I ran to my car. Once inside I started up my mp3 player and hit the shuffle button. I have 641 songs on the player, it's supposed to hold 1000 songs but I have alot of jam band songs that last 10 minutes or longer on the player, so I'm actually surprised it holds that many. So out of the 641 songs I have, it decides to play "Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head". Now I know most of you are wondering why the hell I have that song on my player. But I allow myself some guilty pleasures like BJ Thomas and Barry Manilow, thank you very much.

Of course I recognize that the apt song playing at that particular time was a small coincidence. But just then- I drove through a large puddle and swerved and lost control of the car a bit. The Blind Melon song, "No Rain" came from the mp3 player.

I quickly called my wife and told her how freaked out I was and how my mp3 player was the devil or possessed by demons or it was magical and it will somehow lead us to the promised land. She scoffed at me (yet again) and I hung up the phone. I turned onto Bristol Road in Warrington as the clouds were parting and the sun started to peek it's way through. "Here Comes the Sun" by the Beatles was the next tune the shuffle produced for me.

I called my wife yet again sounding even crazier than before. "It's trying to tell me something!!" My son Gabriel also picked up the phone and started to laugh at me. My own son, a non-believer. I hung up the phone and screamed frantically at the player-

"What is it that you want?! Tell Me!!"

I hit the next song button.

"Hold Me" by Fleetwood Mac came on.

Stupid me. It had wanted what everyone wants, a little love and attention. How could I have not seen this before? I held the credit card sized player gently and caressed it's display and whispered, "shhhhh...there, there, poor sweet baby"

I think it liked that as it started to play, "And You and I" by Yes.

When I arrived at work I knew our short but intense affair had to end. No one could ever understand how two things so different could be together. I had to turn off the player and right before I did it started to play, "Let Forever Be" by the Chemical Brothers.

Yes my little mp3 player, I will let forever be.

Is there a 12th level cleric with a resurrection scroll in the house?!

RIP

Gary Gygax
July 27th, 1938- March 4th, 2008

creator of Dungeons and Dragons

Now with O hit points

Secret little moments of emotional wussiness

Last night I'm sitting my easy chair and I'm watching my wife and 2 kids interact with each other. I don't even really know what they were talking about but they were laughing and smiling at each other and my 6 year old son, Gabriel seem animated and hamming it up while the 9 year old, Jonathan tried in vain to get him to stop. Meanwhile my wife Lynn was doing her best to be attentive to both kids.

Then I started to get a lump in my throat and my eyes welled up a bit (not even from the pink eye) as I thought about how much I cared for all 3 of them. As soon as the moment hit me I regained my composure. I am a man after all. I can't show stupid little moments of emotional wussiness like that.

As a preteen, I was always an emotional wreck, I cried quite a lot and would dangle my Phillie Phanatic out the window with my Mork from Ork suspenders. I would imagine how sorry they'd all be if I was the one who went out the window. Eventually, I learned to control my sadness and crying fits. I clamped down so hard that I never cried again until the week before my mother died. (and I didn't cry at the funeral) I've maybe teared up a few times since, but never let the tears come streaming down my cheeks and had an outright bawling session. It's become a natural reflex for me to stop the tears if the urge to cry ever starts.

I suppose it's emotionally unhealthy to do this. I also suppose that I come off as being cold to the people around me. But, I do have those moments of emotional wussiness and as I age and as my family grows and I become ever more fond of them with each passing day I find these moments coming to bear more and more often. Sooner or later, I will be found out and outed as a fraud. I will savor the time when it does.

Sick of being sick

So there I was, confident and cocky that I would make it through the winter season without getting an illness that was more than a 24-hour stomach bug. I was bragging to people that I was healthy this winter since I quit smoking. I laughed at the face of sniffles and sneezes and coughs. "Ah-hahahahaha!!" I'd bellow, "You shall not make a sick man out of me, oh you hoary hosts of viruses and germs!!" When I made this speech aloud, I 'd get weird looks at the grocery store, but I would just shrug them off and smile, knowingly, that I was protected this year from sickness!

Then suddenly by the middle of February, all around me people were getting this horrible cold. My trusty employee started to hack and cough and then called out sick for 6 days! I also found out that my old friend Karen was hacking and wheezing her way through work for over a week. (I successfully avoided contact with her!) Then come poker night, my good friend Dave was sniffling and hacking his lungs out while he was in my car! Almost a week passed and I thought I was safe, dare I thought nigh-invulnerable to this dreaded disease.

And then Thursday night came....

At first it seemed like I had a small head cold. "No biggie!" I thought to myself, a little sinus pressure but no coughing. "I can handle this with some antihistamines!" I swallowed a few Tylenol PM's and when I awoke Friday morning, my eye was glued shut with eye boogers. Having been through this experience before, I knew immediately what it was. I had pink eye a.k.a. conjunctivitis. It feels like your eyelid is made of sand paper and your eyes are constantly seeping with goop. The first time I got it I was visiting my friend Mike at his college at Rutgers University in my early 20's. I recall screaming across a study hall to his roommate to see if he had any Visine. It must have appeared that I was huge stoner for yelling that. (well, I was, but I wasn't stoned when I asked.) Needless to say, pink eye is a rather uncomfortable experience.

Then Friday night I started to get a low grade fever that continued all weekend and my head cold made me feel even worse. My sinus pressure is awful and I even resorted to using those kooky sinus rinses where you squirt a solution up one nostril and it comes out the other nostril. I feel tired and somewhat achy but I haven't started coughing yet. I know the hacking and wheezing will eventually come. I have resigned myself to the cold Gods and will soon sacrifice a lamb to appease their anger at me for being so bold. I can only pray that my cold ends soon or that my death will be a quick and painless event.

Stupid leap year extra day

I have pink eye and a nasty head cold and today, so far, has been rather busy at work (reason for the short entry). Had this been a year not divisible by 4 I wouldn't have to deal with this crap.

What do we get for having this extra day? Since I'm salaried, I don't see any extra bonuses in my check today for having worked an extra day. Plus doesn't it screw everything up when you say, "a year ago"? Now you'll have to say a "year and a day ago, such and such happened" for another year.

I'm not happy about this situation and I want answers and I want retribution.

Could blood test for bi-polar disorder be a good thing?

My father recently sent me this link to a news story about how they may have created a blood test that can diagnose bipolar disorder.

The article goes over the debate of whether it's a good thing because of the ease to make diagnoses or a bad thing for privacy. I find it hard to believe that most employers would pay to have your blood tested for this kind of thing, but you never know when it comes to that sort of stuff. Overall, I do think it's a good thing. Personally, I would've been appreciative to know of my disorder 2 years earlier when I went to a shrink for depression. It wasn't until I met a fellow bipolar person that I knew what I had. (after all, who goes to a shrink when you're feeling good or great?) Heck, I may have been able to graduate college instead of crapping out during the worst of my mood swings.

The best thing is that it may be very useful for diagnosing children. Without going into much detail (somethings I will keep more private), a blood test may turn out to be extremely useful diagnostic tool for one of my sons. Diagnosing mental disorders depends largely on the patient relaying their feelings and symptoms to the doctor and many may intentionally omit or overlook important information. I think if I could get a proper diagnosis I could save him from a lot of stress and unnecessary strife.

Of course, the real kicker would be if I took the test and found that I have histrionic personality disorder and not bipolar disorder...

Beer week in Philly!!

I have a kegerator in my basement and my handy dandy wife built a bar complete with a beer tap to accommodate our thirsty needs. I like mostly micro-brews and higher quality beers. Call me snooty but Bud and Coors Light just don't cut the mustard and I would only consider drinking the stuff if my wife divorced me and I had nothing else to drink to get drunk to drown my sorrows.

So imagine my excitement levels when I discovered that soon there will be a beer festival in Philadelphia!! My excitement levels are already elevated from playing poker and Wii in the last few days. I might have to get Ben Gay to soothe my cheek muscles from smiling so damn much lately.

I'm going to have to come up with a really good excuse for missing 10 days of work. Although, I suppose, the work part is easy, as I can always fake a pulmonary embolism. The wife is another story- as she'll smell the beer on me and get jealous and want to escape herself. It's times like these when I wish that the children had an off button and you could store them safely in the closet while you go out having fun and sinning.

Nonetheless, when there's a will there's a way of fooling yourself into thinking that you deserve to go out and have fun and shirk adult responsibilities. Please excuse me while I go to post an ad on craigslist for an O-neg type liver as I'm sure mine won't be any good soon.

Poker updates

Up and down game this past weekend in the regular Saturday tourney.

The good:

I came into the game with a goal- (I do this sometimes to work on my game skills) Successfully bluff someone who would be hard to bluff. In other words bluff a player who is loose aggressive and would usually call with weakish hands in a wide variety of situations. My goal was accomplished early in the tourney when I sat out the 1st 11 hands and then came in strong with 9 8 off suit and isolated a guy who was already trying to run the table over. I made him fold on the turn and he went into the tank for a long time. He said after I showed the bluff that he almost went all in.

Went into the game after the break/rebuy period as chip leader.


The bad:

Had my pocket kings busted by an any ace type of player when an ace hit the flop. Was all she wrote for me. I wouldn't be so frustrated with losing on a bad beat, but my chip lead was dwindled to the point that I had to move all in from some bad play and bad luck shortly after the break. I'm disappointed in myself for being impatient in some spots.

Since I had to wait for my buddy Dave to bust or win I decided to help deal. Then this one guy who I never played with before starts complaining about how I'm dealing. I was putting the flop and turn and river out face down after the deal. I usually don't do this while playing but the table was only 4-5 handed so I figured I could speed things up by dealing and having everything ready after the deal. So this guy starts complaining about it in a somewhat snippy fashion, so I told him I didn't want to ruffle his feathers and won't deal anymore. Turns out that Dave busted on the same hand so I was leaving anyways. Could've turned more ugly than it did. Just kinda ticks me off that I'm being helpful and someone cops an attitude with me when I'm helping when I didn't have to.





Also, more poker related news---

The bankroll challenge is officially over- not because I lost it all (I ended up with $51) but because I'm having a private tourney on Full Tilt for Phillies message board posters. But even if you're a Phillies fan you are welcome to come join us-

The tournament is Tuesday the 26th at 9:15 PM in a room called backshegoes, the password is herewegoagain and the buy in is $10+1 for a NLHE double stack game. Hope to see you there!

Wii? Oui!!

Mission control we have Wii!



Let the games commence!!

I want justice!!

Today I found out that my business American Express has been used this month for unauthorized purchases. I've only used the card online twice so I doubt that the source was through the internet. Also, under further investigation, I was able to get the address to where the stuff was shipped to and it's a business that's only a mile away from my business (using my name).

If the weather wasn't so crappy I'd gather up my pitchforks and torches and burn the place down!!

But, alas, my thirst for blood will have to wait.

Perhaps I should dress up in a UPS uniform and walk into the business and ask for myself for a signature to see if anyone comes to get the package.

But I'm a big wimp.

I suppose the police will have to be brought in for my $200 worth of personal violation.

Case of the Blue-Rays

The dust has finally settled and Blue-Ray has won the high-def DVD battle. With me being a big movie watcher and especially a big at home movie watcher (when you have young kids you don't get to go see movies that aren't PG or G too often), you'd think I'd be rushing out right away to get my fancy and shiny new Blue-Ray player for my LCD high-def TV set.

Well, I guess you forgot what a cheapskate I am at times. I would hate to pay $300-400 now, when I know that in just a few months the price will probably drop to $200-250 and then come Black Friday you'll see a great deal at the Walmart for $88 from some weird electronics outfit that you've never heard of before. (I can picture names like Aiwony, Santhro, Yomikishu, and Mismachi- Japanese sounding but made in Hong Kong or Mexico)

There's something about feeling ripped off when you know that there's a better deal around the corner. The problem being is that often you wait and wait and wait and you never get the item and the next you know a brand new fancy and shiny invention comes along that replaces what you wanted in the 1st place. But you can't buy the new invention because it's too much and you know that it'll be cheaper if you wait.

Wash, rinse, repeat.

It's why buying a computer sucks. 2 weeks later and you see your computer cheaper or it has much better upgrades for the same price.

It's all a big conspiracy, I tells ya. Those Japanese are still pissed off at us for nuking their asses and having bigger penises.

I've arrived!

There are moments when you come to the realization that you've really accomplished something.

An hour ago I typed the following into the Google search engine:

"Poker Phillies Bipolar"


The very 1st result was this blog.

(strangely enough my friend Chris is number 2 and even though he's nuts he isn't bipolar)


A tear came strolling down my cheek after I saw that.

3 relatively common words and I'm the number one on the interwebs. My kids will be so proud.


I'm number 1!! I'm number 1!!!

Should we be scared of the boogey man?

The Mets acquisition of Johan Satana is a big blow, but will it spell doom for the Phillies?

The bad news-

He's the best pitcher currently in the majors and it will create at least an additional 5-6 wins for the Mets.

If Pedro is healthy, then the Mets have the best rotation in baseball.

The good news-

The Phillies still have the best offense in the National league.

Despite the anemic off-season, we still pick up some wins by moving Myers to the rotation.

The Mets will eventually regret the contract as Johan will decline or get injured.



The Mets and Phils are pretty evenly matched this year- it will be a classic battle of offense vs defense. Should be fun. Here's hoping for a repeat division title and more!

Baseball is coming

Can you feel it?!

Photos from Yahoo! Sports

Wii- Waaaaaaaahh!

The local Gamestop got in 7 Wii systems yesterday morning.

They sold out in an hour.


It's 2 months past X-mas and you still can't readily walk into a store and buy a Wii?!


WTF?! Doesn't everyone have one by now?

My wife, who isn't a video game fan in the slightest now wants one- so I'm trying to take full advantage of this fact before she changes her mind.

But the damn stores can't keep them in!!


I guess it's because other non-video game playing people like her also want a Wii.

To make matters worse, I keep hearing from friends who have a Wii about how freaking awesome it is and how it's the greatest game system ever.


I refuse to over pay on Ebay and will not buy a huge bundle pack of extra crud that I don't want. So, I'll wait some more and make more calls until I find one.


Bitch bitch bitch

moan moan moan

Waiting for mistakes

I played in a poker cash game that I haven't played in before on Saturday night. The game itself was fun, the host, Ron, did a nice job and the players were solid. The stakes were lower than I usually play, but I didn't mind as I needed a low key game to get myself back on track for this year. I did win about 50 bucks so that puts me back to even for the year if you don't count the small win in online play.

The very 1st hand I got paid off big by a person with top pair when I had 2 pair. It was probably because I was a new face. Most new players are often thought of as trying to steal or bluff alot. Shortly after the big pot I earned respect as a tight player and most of my raises were met with little skepticism and folds. As a result I made 2 successful bluffs and 1 bad bluff that I couldn't follow through with on the river because I knew I was getting called if I fired a 3rd bullet. I've made less and less bluffs in cash games through the years and it's been paying well for me. Basically, when I face solid players like I did, I usually sit back and wait for mistakes. As a general rule, I try to only bluff once per hour unless a good situation pops up.

It's boring to do that, but thankfully the company was fun enough that I could wait for big hands. As the night wore on, the players, who were drinking high quality scotches and bourbons, were getting looser and looser. I wasn't catching cards as well as I hoped, but I made enough hands to be a winner for the night. I could've made about 20 bucks more if I didn't keep adding to the straddle. I'll have to remember it's a dumb play and you'll usually lose money if everyone doesn't participate.

With my small online success and Saturday's win, I feel more focused going into this weekend's tourney. There will be more players than usual, so I'll have to listen to my own advice and sit back and wait for mistakes. They will come and hopefully, I'll be there to capitalize on them and not make any of my own.

A different take on things...

What my blog would look like if...


Ants attack!


Snoop Dog wrote it.


Mars attack!!

In memormiam: Joyce Klaus 3/8/1944-2/17/1995

Mom,

It's been 13 years since you died and I still think of you often. Your grandchildren are doing so well and I know you would have spoiled them silly. I really wish you could've met them. You live on in my memory and your traits of sensitivity and generosity have passed on through my children. Duane and I get along much better than we did before and you would be proud of how the 3 of us have built a successful business together. I can honestly say that I have a great life and I'm happy. I have you to thank for that.

I'll talk to you next year.

I love you,

Brian

All you need is love

Today I watched Across the Universe on DVD. While it's stylistically fun and the soundtrack is great (it is the Beatles after all...) the actual plot wasn't anything to shout about. The plot was a typical late 60's story and the themes have become cliche and somewhat boring. The best part of the movie was listening to Beatles tunes.

I've recently ripped my Beatles CD's onto my laptop and mp3 player. Rediscovery is always a neat thing. Aside from wondering why you ever stopped enjoying something, you also recall the times and events that surrounded you when you first discovered something. The Beatles was one of the first CD's I bought when I got my own CD player. (cutting edge back in 1986!) They released them slowly and one at a time, so as soon as the next one was available I went out to the Sam Goody and bought it. (I believe Peter Gabriel's So album and Sting's 1st solo album were also out at the same time.)

The Beatles early pop tunes are good stuff but Revolver and Rubber Soul was the beginning of something really special. I know Sgt Pepper and the White Album get tossed around as critical masterpieces (and they should) but if you get some time this week, go back and play these 2 albums. You won't be disappointed. Songs like Norwegian Wood, In My Life, Nowhere Man, Eleanor Rigby, Tomorrow Never Knows, and And Your Bird Can Sing are all beautiful and classic.

Of course, this being Valentine's Day, I would be remiss to not mention that the main theme of almost all Beatles songs is love. While certainly songs today have this theme, you just don't see it as often or with such poetry. Maybe I'm being one of those crotchety people who don't think things are as good as they used to be (and also complain about how hard they had it!) but pop music seems so manufactured nowadays and doesn't come from the heart or soul.

So dust off your old albums or cd's and play some Beatles during your romantic dinner tonight, I bet you'll thank me tomorrow.

Kris Benson signs with Phillies

Kris Benson, trying to make a comeback from shoulder injury, just signed a minor league deal with the Phillies. While not exciting in of itself because even if Kris is as good pre-injury, he ain't all that great. Nonetheless, it's a cheap move and low risk, worst case is that you dump him, best case is that he is a serviceable back end of the rotation guy.

And then there's some "other" perks to this deal....

Kris is married to Anna Benson (pictured right) and we may be hearing and seeing more of her if Kris makes the team. I've heard she's nutty, but that just means she's full of passion.

BTW- Here's an open letter to Michael Moore that Anna has posted on the web back in 2005- hahaha, I may learn to love her.

Bankroll update

As of last night my tight play has bumped my online bankroll up to 62 dollars ($7.50 of it was released from bonus, which expires tonight- I doubt I'll reach the next release). I'm still playing the cap games but if I get to $100, I'll play the 5cent/10cent NLHE and buy in for 10 bucks. I had some rough patches but overall my play seems to be superior to the typical player at those levels.

I think the reason that I'll never hit the $10K goal is that the level of skill in the players at the higher levels is much greater than that of your typical casino player. At the Borgata, a $1/$2 NLHE game is a donkfest (poker slang for lots of bad players), but if you play at 1/2 online then you're usually playing against some really good players. (probably 18 years old and already has more experience than me) The players also tend to have the latest software tools that help them analyze their game and the other players and they play even more effeciently. If I do get up to that level I may invest in some of the programs.

I'm in the wrong business

Just a half hour before the trade show that I attended last week started, I walked around to look at the other booths to see what was new and who was there and gather general info about the industry and my competition. If I haven't posted it before, I am part owner of a family business and we sell physical therapy exercise equipment like latex bands, tubes, stability balls, range of motion pulleys and the like. Most vendors at the display booths were selling similar equipment or recruiting for jobs or schools, or selling software, or selling large, bulky, and expensive medical equipment. You also see some of the chiropractic quacks with their natural cures and back cracking equipment.

Just having completed my look-see around the hall I wandered up to my booth and said hello to the guy in the booth next to me. I glanced down at his medical devices and products to see what he was selling and saw a weird oval pump with a tubular attachment. The sign above it read, "Clitoral Pump". I continued to walk towards my booth and suddenly my brain screamed, "Did that just say clitoral pump?!!"

Nah...

I must've been seeing things. It had to have said, "Clinical pump."

I spun around to double check and noticed the guy start to giggle. Sure enough, it was a clitoral pump. Not only that, but upon closer inspection, he had all sorts of plastic phallic "vaginal dilators that vibrate" and lubricants and a life size female pelvic model.

This guy was selling sex toys!

He was calling them "medical therapeutic devices for women's health", and instead of pornographic pictures on the box they were stark white and clinical. But let's call a spade a spade here, he had dildoes, vibrators, clit pumps, lube and sexual position instructional books. Most of his stuff could be found in an adult book store.

"Hahaha! I get that double take all the time!" said the man who was minding the booth.

"You're a thinly veiled smut peddler!" I remarked back while holding up the clitoral pump.

"Well, women who have diabetes issues with circulation and..." I interupted him before he could finish pleading his case, "You don't have to tell me, I understand completely. Besides, there's nothing to be ashamed of, sex is fun and natural and completely healthy. It probably does wonders for healing. Better than that back straightening device, I bet." I pointed to the booth across from me where the yoga guy who I nearly chewed up and spit out hours earlier from travel frustration was hanging upsidedown on a torture-like device. (see earlier blog about him) I continued my unsolicited thoughts on sex and ended with the phrase, "You're doing God's work."

It was fun for the rest of the show watching others do the same thing as I did and do double takes. There were alot of fine looking young women PT students at the show and I was certainly tempted to ask a few if they wanted to try out some of the equipment in my hotel room later that night. You know- for science. But alas, I don't think Lynn would completely understand my thirst for scientific endeavors and knowledge that could benefit all of woman kind, so I kept quiet and sold my comparatively boring latex items, straps, cuffs and balls.

Six Bombay Sapphire and tonics, one 22 ounce rib eye steak and one Goo Goo Cluster later....

Life is good...

It's the little things that matter...

Every time you travel, whether it's business or pleasure, you run into little snags every now and again. Usually, you don't let small nuisances stress you out as you've come to expect a little inconvenience when you travel. BUT WHEN EVERY SMALL NAGGING NUISANCE POSSIBLE HAPPENS YOU START TO GET A LITTLE ANNOYED!

What's happened to me so far:

• 90 minute flight delay, including an hour of waiting on the runway, so I couldn't even get out of my seat to stretch or pee.
• Forgot to charge my mp3 player, so it died before takeoff.
• Guy sitting next to me had bad breath.
• Woman in front of me audibly and aromatically farted 3 times.
• Baggage was lost, it was found, but I had to wait an extra half hour.
• Hotel sticks me at furthest corner away from the entrance (big hotel too).
• When I finally get to my room, there's an annoying high pitched whirring noise emanating from the industrial heater fans right outside and below my door, I call to get room switched, and had to hike up to the front and then they stick me at opposite furthest away corner.
• Front desk calls me up to say the credit card is declined. I have to go up front desk again and it turns out that American Express wanted them to see my ID to confirm. WTF?! I presented ID at the time of check in!
• This morning I go to shave and notice my razor broke during transport.
• I get to the convention hall to set up my booth and there's no carpeting or furniture that we ordered. I go to see what happened and they claim that they never received order and tried to charge extra for late order- I was fortunate enough to have the actual fax with date and time to argue and get price reduced.
• I go to breakfast while the furniture is set up and come back and they get the order completely wrong!
• I got a huge splinter from our crate that we use to ship the show materials.
• Cheap razor I bought gave me 4 nicks and I now have little toilet paper pieces all over my face.
• I'm in Nashville.
  

AAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!! What's fucking next?!!!

The yoga guy in the booth across from me noticed my stress levels rising and tried to get me to "breathe"- I told him to go fuck himself since he's probably God damned flexible enough to do it for real.

Okay, so that last part was just fantasy, but I really came close to saying it.

Twisted roots

"They took the nails out of my shoes!"

I laugh and make fun of that statement now, but as an 8 year-old kid that's a pretty scary thing to hear your Grandmother say. It was one of the few times I actually saw my Grandmother (maternal) in one of her paranoid schizophrenic states. My parents did a good job of shielding me from the truth and full extent of her problems. As an older teen I learned that she was diagnosed as having Schizophrenia and was hospitalized in and out over the years since she was a young adult. My mother was often cared for by her aunt (since my grandfather passed away when she was a girl) and I think she came to dislike her mother as an adult. I can't blame her for feeling abandoned and resentful for losing both parents through death and mental illness. My father told me that one of the reasons we moved to Richboro was that it was out of range of SEPTA's transportation system. Of course, it didn't help that my cranky great aunt Ruby was always going on about how her problems weren't real. She would cromudgeonly go on and on about how her younger half-sister was spoiled and always got her way and she was just trying to get attention like she always had before. I think after I crapped out of college from my own mental issues, my mother started to understand her own mother and sympathized more.

My grandmother died when I was in college and I just started to develop my own mental problems with bipolarism. Never having known her all that well, her death didn't affect me that much. I do wish I had the foresight to ask my mother questions about her behaviors and problems before she died herself in 1995. One of the things I learned over the years is that bipolar disorder is often misdiagnosed as schizophrenia or has schizophrenic associative qualities. So, while I often point out that my father demonstrates manic tendencies, I really should be delving more into my mother's family tree for my bipolar hereitage.

But alas, I really have no contacts left. My mother and great aunt are gone and I haven't seen my uncle Ed since my mother's funeral. He's not the type of person who I think would open up much about her anyways, so I don't really wish to seek the guy out and bother him with unpleasant memories just so I could feel better about myself.

That's the thing about roots- they're twisty and gnarly and don't look pretty, but without them you wouldn't be grounded.


You see what I just did there? I made a nifty keen metaphor! Damn, I'm a good writer sometimes!

I miss the animated beer bottles

The Bud Bowl was always the big highlight for me when I watched the Superbowl when I was in College. It wasn't a very expensive commercial and it was just pure stupid fun. Those are the type of commercials I find entertaining, so I really didn't find much exciting last night. I most certainly found the SalesGenie.com commercials fairly offensive for this day and age. (Pandas speaking with a Chinese accent?! WTF?)

I did enjoy the Tide talking stain commercial. I don't how often I get a little stain on my shirt and I feel like that's the only thing anyone is paying attention to. I enjoyed the Coke commercial with the parade balloons fighting over the Coke bottle. (Plus it was nice to see Charlie Brown catch a break for a change.) There were a few lightly enjoyable commercials but overall most were not up to stuff, so to speak. (The Audi/Godfather commercial was done so many times before, it was trite)

Oh, and the football game was pretty entertaining at the end. I'm glad to see the Pats flop on their faces and see the cheaters get their comeuppance. Sadly, the Eagles are now the only team in the NFC East to not get a Superbowl ring, let alone at least 3 like the Skins, Cowboys and Giants do.

Bankroll management Schmankroll management

Over 16 months ago, Chris Ferguson, the 2001 WSOP main event winner, challenged himself to start from nothing and get up to $10K in online poker.
The concept behind this is to use proper bankroll management and if you're a good player in the long run you'll eventually hit the stated goal. Of course, starting from scratch meant that Chris had to eventually get lucky in a free-roll multi-table tournament. Once he made a small amount of money, he stuck to his rules of never allowing more 5% of his money be on the poker table and in play. This bankroll management concept figures that if you're a winning player, you'll be able to weather the swings of variance (poker nerd talk for periods of bad luck) that poker will often give you.
So, yesterday I get an email from Full Tilt Poker letting me know I'm getting a free $75 buck bonus since I haven't played in a long time. With a skeptical eye I checked my FTP account to see what the skinny was. Turns out you need to earn your you bonus by playing raked games and they slowly release the 75 smackers depending on their points system. "Screw that!" I thought to myself as I didn't have any desire to deposit any money online at this time.

But wait a sec...

My balance says I have $2.15!

I don't remember the whys or wherefores, so to me that's a free 2 bucks and 15 cents! It's like finding a fin in the dryer lint screen- sure, it's yours technically, but it's free money since you weren't even aware of it in the 1st place.

Thoughts of Chris Ferguson blog posts on bankroll management immediately came to me and soon I was already spending the $10K in my mind. Not a minute longer than that and I was plopping down my $2.15 in a heads-up match ($2 +$0.15 fee- it was perfect!!).

Ummmm..what? 100% of my money was on the table.?!

Chris took his meager freeroll money and played micro-stakes LIMIT hold 'em. Limit is just not my regular game and I knew that I'd probably come out a loser. So I risked it all on the best chance I knew of to double it up. A heads up match- assuming I'm better than my opponent, I had maybe a 55% chance of winning. Besides this is FREE money, right?!

Thankfully, I won. I now had 4 bucks. But instead of another heads up match, I decided to play more conservatively in a $.05/.10 NLHE game with $3 cap. (meaning that most you can bet on one hand is 3 bucks) I played tight as a drum and eventually I've built my 4 bucks into 20 bucks (I'm still far away from getting my bonus). So, I think as long as I stick to the micro-stakes until I've built a substantial bankroll I might be able to build a decent chunk of change.

Of course, having someone bluff into you while you hold quad Kings is always helpful!

Go injuries!!

As an Eagles fan, I have no real rooting interest in either team in this weekend's Super Bowl. Even worse is the fact that I despise both teams that are in it. I guess you could say that I am rooting for good commercials, spectacular Theisman-like injuries and naked titties during the halftime show.

My interest in the Super Bowl has faded exponentially since the Eagles lost to the cheating Patriots a few years ago. I'll be surprised if I watch the whole thing. So if you really want to read a blog about Super Bowl Hype then I suggest you skip this and go somewhere else.

Oh- too late- this post is already over- hahaha tricked ya!

Ooops, she did it again.

I just want to say that I called it over a year ago. Even before the "smacking a car window with an umbrella while sporting a shaved head" incident, I sensed that Britney Spears was bipolar. While I won't be crying on youtube to leave Britney alone, I probably have more sympathy for her than the regular Joe.

As much as people have delighted in seeing Britney self-destruct, (our society loves to bring down that which they brought up) I have been cringing and have had repressed memories of my young adulthood come to light. For those not in the know, many mental disorders have their onset and often hit their debilitating peak during young adulthood. Bipolarism is no exception; 20-24 was hell for me and I'm amazed I'm still here and I was never hospitalized.

If you take someone who is bipolar, who is an early 20-something and then throw in some sort of significant stressful situation- well, you'll have what we're witnessing in the tabloids. Fortunately for me, I wasn't followed by hordes of paparazzi to document the whole experience because I had similar factors at that period of my life. My parents went through a separation at the time, I was struggling in college and my behavior and mannerisms weren't pretty to say the least. (although, admittedly there was some fun amidst the madness)

There is a certain freedom to going off the edge. You have no sense of consequence and immediate gratification (however jumbled it appears to the outside world) is your only desire. I'm sure Britney's recent hospitalization won't be the last. However, the silver lining is that it's likely she'll learn to cope, find the right mix of meds and come to terms with her disorder like I have. Most of us manic-depressives do in today's modern medical world. So, I will look forward to seeing Britney tramping it up on the stage again in the future. Heck, with this life experience, she may even be profoundly slutty and poignantly whorish.

Where has all the nostalgia gone?

As mentioned briefly a few weeks ago, I had an interesting conversation with my long time friend Mike about how nostalgia doesn't exist anymore. Thanks to recent technologies and mainly the ability of niche marketers to be successful on the internet he felt that we can get anything that we missed or remembered without too much problem or expense.

The impetus of this conclusion was the fact that he was able to purchase an exact copy of the Air Jordan sneakers that he had as a teen. I'm willing to bet that even if there weren't a company making replicas he could've easily (though paid much more) found a pair on Ebay or some other online specialty site like Craigs List. Unlike our parents who had to hunt for nostalgic items at yard sales and pay through the nose at auction houses, mine and future generations will have no problems finding much if not all of their precious childhood memorabilia.

You even see it in "collectible" hobbies. Comic books can be read online and downloaded for free if you're savvy enough with the computer. (and most comic book nerds are...) Even before that the major comic book publishers would reprint the difficult to find issues in paperback or reprint issues. I've even seen food items and candies that aren't as popular anymore being sold on the web at specialty stores.

While replicas and reprints and downloads aren't the same thing as the genuine item, it will decrease the demand and nostalgic feelings that we as a culture share for certain things. There will always be a demand by some people for the "real" article, but most of us will satisfy our long lost yearnings with replicas and reprints. This ability to have what we want, when we want it, and how we want it is a mostly a good thing, but I'm reminded of when you spoil a child and then don't deliver. I wonder if there will be some sort of cultural meltdown or temper tantrum if that day were to come.

Lazy Sunday

After a wonderful evening of seeing old friends on Saturday night, I couldn't for the life of me remove my ass from the couch the next day. Even better was the fact that my wife felt the same way, so there was no nagging to get anything done from her. Aside from going to the bathroom and attending to my and the children's nutritional intake I was a lump all day, drifting in and out of sleep. It was truly the most religious experience I've had since my vasectomy and had a frozen bag of peas on my dingly-danglies and was loaded on Valium and Percocets.

I guess if you think about it, the Buddha might have just been a on a run of lazy "Sundays" for 40 days. You have to admire a culture that will revere pure unadultured procrastination and idleness. Even the greatest leaders of the 20th century took pride in sitting on their asses to get things done. MLK Jr and Ghandi may have been using civil disobedience not because they were peaceful, but they themselves were having a lazy Sunday and simply didn't want to lift a finger, let alone arms, to advance their cause.

I'm being somewhat facetious, of course, but that lazy Sunday was something I needed. I recommend turning into a vegetable every now and then- just be sure to wake up after a while or people will notice you haven't bathed.

Son of 6 degrees of Napster

Just because I'm bored on a Friday night-

Let's start with an old favorite of mine Cat Stevens (yeah, yeah, he's a terrorist now, blah, blah, go read snopes ya ignorant hick) He created many beautiful songs with a message mainly of comprised of peace and love.


1-apparently people who enjoy Cat Stevens also seem to enjoy Carole King

Well this makes sense- both are considered among the greatest singer/songwriters of the 70's.

2-apparently people who enjoy Carole King also seem to enjoy Elton John

hmmmmm...we've quickly went from meaningful to schmaltzy- Not that it's a bad thing, Elton does schmaltzy very well.

3-apparently people who enjoy Elton John also seem to enjoy Michael Jackson

At first glance this seems to be a weird connection, but remember both artists hit their peak in the 80's. But we seem to be getting further away from the message.

4-apparently people who enjoy Michael Jackson also seem to enjoy Britney Spears

Say what? Although, it's really no surprise- both are huge pop stars from their eras, both are famous for their over the top videos, both are in the tabloids 24/7 and both are whackos. But at least Michael sang of love sometimes, Britney seems to ooze sex and sluttiness.

5-apparently people who enjoy Britney Spears also seem to enjoy Jessica Simpson

Just when you thought you couldn't get any more vapid....

6-apparently people who enjoy Jessica Simpson also seem to enjoy The Spice Girls

There you have it- Cat Stevens is just 6 degrees away from The Spice Girls

Katmandu is 6 degrees away from Wannabe

I wish that Cat's songwriting ability were further away from the manufactured pop of the 90's.

Reconnecting the dots

This June I'll have been out of high school for 20 years.

(I hate the sound of that- I feel so old)

Despite the fact that I will not attend my 20 year reunion this fall, I have been slowly recontacting many old high school friends. Some even found me. I figure most of my friends or people I'd be interested in seeing again wouldn't attend the reunion either or they were in a different class. Many of my friends in my senior year were juniors and some, including my girlfriend, were sophomores. I guess I was too immature for my own peers.

Over the past year, I've slowly amassed a decent chunk of my old friends back again. Most of us have jobs, kids, spouses (some even married each other), and are productive members of society. Heck, some even are award winning members of society. (I'm like a proud father) It's been great hearing what everyone's been up to and what their kids are like. I even have fun bragging that I'm vice-president of a multi-million dollar corporation (don't get too excited- it's the family biz).

So, as anti-reunion attending as I've become, I am hosting a dinner for 6 ex-high school classmates of mine tomorrow night. Hopefully it'll be like old times, except for the fact that we'll have alcohol and no worries about getting busted by our parents. Although, I suppose it would be awkward for my wife if I start making out with my old girlfriend, so I guess I shouldn't plan on making it much too much like old times. (note to Lynn- I'm Kidding!!)

I plan to get an even bigger get together some time in the summer as I know I can get even more old friends to come. Strange how comforted I've felt reconnecting with old friends, I wonder why I've even lost touch in the first place.

Pop Quiz!!

You're a masseuse and you let yourself into your high profile client's apartment for an appointment. You notice he's sleeping so you set up your table. You then try to wake him but he's cold to the touch and unresponsive. Your next move should be....?


A) Call 911

B) Check to see if he's breathing

C) Take his wallet and run

D) Call Mary-Kate Olsen twice

E) Have your way with him, they don't call 'em "stiffs" for no reason.

Goodbye Heath

RIP Heath Ledger

It's always disappointing when someone whose talent you admire and enjoy suddenly dies. As of right now, there are no official reports as to the cause of his death but I'm reminded of when River Phoenix died of an overdose. Both Heath and River were young talented actors who died in their 20's. Both actors could have easily cashed in on their good looks and made bonzo bucks making mediocre action films but instead chose to act in films with a little more bite to them.

If you have Netflix, I recommend renting Running on Empty and Monster's Ball, both are good examples of excellent acting by young men with a great future in front of them.

So fare thee well Heath, I look forward to seeing your interpretation of the Joker in the The Dark Knight this summer.

6 degrees of Napster

Napster has a feature that lets you know the 20 most popular artists that are liked by other people who also like the artist that you're currently looking at.

So in the spirit of Kevin Bacon I decided to pick one of my favorite bands and see how far I could go astray by looking at "also enjoyed by people who like..." 6 times.


Let's start with Phish

1-apparently people who enjoy Phish also seem to enjoy Jack Johnson

not exactly my cup of tea but he's not bad and I like Curious George as much as the next guy.

2-apparently people who enjoy Jack Johnson also seem to enjoy The Wallflowers

I like that one hit they had a few summers ago, One Headlight, so far we're not too far off course.

3-apparently people who enjoy The Wallflowers also seem to enjoy R.E.M.

now we're talking- R.E.M. has always been a favorite of mine- can't say that they resemble Phish all that much however...

4-apparently people who enjoy R.E.M. also seem to enjoy Green Day

hmmm...quite punkish

5-apparently people who enjoy Green Day also seem to enjoy The Ramones

I wanna be sedated. I actually saw these guys in concert before half the band kicked the bucket.

6-apparently people who enjoy The Ramones also seem to enjoy The Misfits


There you have it-

Phish is 6 degrees away from The Misfits

Wading in a Velvet Sea is 6 degrees away from Dig Up her Bones

A fun journey with a few good stops on the way.

Don't quote me on this

I enjoy getting some "feedback" on my blog. For starters it's nice to know that people take the time to actually read the "crud" that I "regurgitate" onto my" blog". So, even though I also get some "criticisms", it's nice to know about some "things" I could do to improve it. And, no, I won't take "offense" when someone tells me that I use to many "quotations" in my writings when I want to "emphasize" something.

I will say that I differ in opinion and say that quotations are often a softer way of highlighting a word or phrase. Bolding words gives me eye strain and italics are hard to read. I COULD USE ALL CAPS BUT PEOPLE WILL JUST THINK I'M SCREAMING! SO I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND IF I USE QUOTATIONS A LITTLE MORE THAN YOU'RE USED TO SEEING.


But "thanks" for the feedback Marie

Senuous Census

Have I had enough intimate partners?

I haven't had more than 1 in the last 14 years and so far I've been content with that.

I suppose I've had "enough" in the past to know what I want and how I want it. No real regrets in who I've slept with or that I could've possibly slept with more if I gave it more effort. Ultimately, the fact that I've found a great partner in my wife makes me a big winner, despite any tallies. Some people don't even get to achieve that and doomed themselves into sexless marriages.

Yet, why do I feel inadequate when someone tells me that they've had X more partners than me? It's not like I'm going to go out and fuck anybody I can just so I hit some quota. It's too much work to get what you want and how you want it (and you put aside the fact that I love my wife and would never cheat on her.).

I guess it's my competitive nature and in some innate way I place value on the ability to score. Kinda sad, but we're animals deep down.

So, I've decided I'm going to lie from now on and say that I've had sex with 10,000 people. That way only Wilt Chamberlain could claim more than me. Who cares if people think I'm a liar? I'll be balla to those who choose to believe me.

4 more years!!

No....not another 4 years of Bush ...(altho he'd probably win the republican nomination right now despite being so unpopular)

Bud Selig was signed to an extension to be the commissioner until 2012.


someone freeze me and wake me up then


Aside from looking at his grumpy and wrinkly face he has been the worst commissioner baseball has had. He's a complete toady for the ownership (and was an owner himself).

I don't know why I expected anything different.

Put on a happy face

I must admit that I thought I was really good at hiding my emotions. Being bi-polar my rational mind is constantly fighting with my emotionally crazy mind and over the years I've done a good job of putting on a front when I need to. My inner voice is either screaming or feeling agitated or saddened and I'll don't often express what I'm feeling to anyone. Lately, however, I seem to be either slipping or realizing that I've never been as adept as I thought I was.

Rereading some emails to friends I can see myself making either "snippy" comments or inappropriate statements. It's a sure sign of up and down swings. I wonder if my actual behavior is just as obvious. Perhaps, it's not as obvious to those around me as it is to me?

Lately, my downswing is an "agitated" downswing. It's hard to describe, but if mania is a speeded up and racing thought process, an agitated downswing is almost the same but gone south, so to speak. Most manic episodes feel good. You enter into a state of euphoria- your ego is inflated, you're feeling sharp and witty, and it may sound fun but you start getting jumbled and disconnected or start saying the wrong things, buying things you can't afford, taking risks, and losing sleep. My agitated state is the same racy roller coast ride but I want to get off and I can't so it becomes terrifying. I start to get angry or frustrated easily and I'm almost jittery. It's not a good form of depression. I don't necessarily feel "down" but I'm definitely upset and wired up in a bad way. I usually end up secluding myself until I slow down and the normal type of depression usually follows soon after.

Agitated states are the hardest to hide and maybe that's why I'm noticing my mask slipping off. But, it's most likely I don't have as much control as I'd like to think I have.

down and out

wow, I realized I have nothing to say today. For those who know me that may seem unusual. I guess when I have a small downswing in my mood, I don't feel like talking or writing. I've even re-written this 5 times because I don't like what I'm writing.

Oh well, time to self-medicate!

Unlucky at cards, lucky at love

Busted out early in this weekend's tourney. My wife also played, so if you count her buy-in and mine then poker this week was a wash. Losing early wasn't a big disappointment as my Dad had the kiddies for the night so my wife, Lynn and I went out to the Drafting Room. That's a great little bar in Spring House PA that has a HUGE selection of draft beers and bottles from all over. I had a pink beer of all things (raspberry infusion), it was not the best beer, but Im willing to try most things. It was truly nice to get out and have a conversation and good time with the wife. I am looking forward to when we take our 10th anniversary trip to San Fran in May.

Pink beer and pink elephants, not a bad way to spend an evening if you can't catch the cards.

Whew!

Last night I played at a home poker cash game. I played $0.50/$1 no-limit Texas Hold 'Em, although a limit game was available at another table. The host does a nice job of setting the game up, he's a moderator at the 2+2 poker forums and knows what he's doing. He sends you a 50 page rules document via email, a tad OCD, but I'd rather have over-organization in poker for a fair game instead of bad feelings when rules aren't enforced properly. He has a nice selection of food and drink and always has a decent turnout. I wish I could go more often to his games, but since he has them on Thursday nights, my schedule doesn't always permit it.

Shortly after the game started a new player came up to the table, sat to my right and was what can best be described in poker lingo as a "maniac". He played close to 85% of the hands and would call large pre-flop raises with hands like 8 10 suited. I started licking my chops as he was getting super-lucky early and his Q 7 would hit 2 pair and his J 6 would make a flush. Nothing better than a loose calling station with lots of chips. Unfortunately for me I played poorly and had some bad luck to start off. Maniacs tend to get the pots big and if you get impatient you can lose some big money if you don't wait for stronger hands. There's no "outplaying" a maniac as most times they call you with middle pair or top pair no kicker. You can let them bluff into you a lot, but you're better off getting your money in the pot when you have a strong hand as most times they'll come along for the ride.

Stupid me, I got impatient and tried to isolate myself in hands with the maniac by re-raising preflop and getting heads up. It's not a bad plan but I was doing it with marginal hands like A 9 and that can be dangerous, especially since other solid players woke up with better hands and squeezed me out. It didn't help that I made a huge mistake and called a big maniac bet with just middle pair. (I thought he was drawing with 2 diamonds on the board, he had 2 pair) My poor play created a downward spiral of losing close to 200 bucks. I was down to my last 58 dollars and was steaming on full tilt.

Then the best thing that could have happened, happened. I went on a long, bad run of starting hands. It was a shit storm of endless 9 2's and 8 3's. But, it was what the doctor ordered since I was folding everything pre-flop and the resulting downtime allowed me to calm down and think about what I did wrong. Soon enough I got big slick (AK), and hit my king on the flop in a pot with the maniac. I got my stack up to 80 bucks and completed a small blind in a limped pot (no one raised pre-flop) with 7 4. The turn card was lucky as I hit my straight. My buddy Chris bet out big on the turn, the maniac re-raised and I went all in. Chris begrudgingly folded and I won a big pot as I more than doubled up after the maniac called. (At this point the maniac lost all of his early winnings to other players and was rebuying.)

After a few decent hands and small pots won I found myself a much smaller loser than just a few minutes before. But it was midnight and I was getting tired, so since it was the hand before I was big blind I announced that it was last hand I was playing and at that point I was losing a "paltry" 30 bucks for the night. Considering the circumstances I was more than content with that outcome.

But then I was dealt pocket Jacks.

Crap

What a predicament, you're mentally prepared to leave and then you get a hand that could turn ugly fast but it's too good to pass on it.

I thought about folding for about 2 seconds and then raised it up bigger than usual as to let people know, "Hey! I have pocket Jacks or Queens so get out of my way." I know it's dumb to be so obvious, but maybe the maniac will play with me while everyone else folds. Sure enough, that was the outcome. The maniac called and the flop came A 10 J. Bingo! I hit my set and an ace was on the board, so if he has a strong ace I'm getting his money. The maniac bet out over the pot and I noticed he had another 100 or so behind him. Knowing the maniac won't fold an ace, I went all in. If he had KQ, I still had outs and I would just consider myself unlucky. But fortunately he had A 10 and was drawing to an ace which missed. A ten did hit the river and in my tired state I misread the board and thought I lost at first, but my jacks full was a better hand.

So I went home a 120 dollar winner. Not too bad for playing so poorly and impatiently. Maniacs can sure change up your game if you're not careful. Hopefully I will learn from the experience.

Joke Day!

So this new bar opens and the owner can't think of a name. So he decides to name the bar after the 3rd person who walks in. It takes dosen't take long and soon the 3rd customer walks in.

The owner jumps up and walks over to the girl. “You're the 3rd person to enter my bar and I'm going to name it after you.”

“Okay,” she says, “my name is Jill.”

The owner looks her over and says, “I like your legs so I'm going to name the bar 'Jill's Legs'”

The next day a bum is sitting outside the bar and a cop askes him what he's doing. He answers, “Waiting for Jill's Legs to open so I can get a drink!”

Santana to the Mets would suck

According to the Star Tribune the Mets are close to a deal with the Twins to get Johan Santana. Basically, they would trade their 2 best prospects and a few B grade prospects and then sign Santana to a 6 year 120 million dollar deal. If I were the Mets I'd do the deal in a heart beat. Unfortunately, I don't think the Phils could match the deal, let alone pay Santana that kind of scratch. It would really, really suck if this deal were to come to fruition. It really makes the Mets a much better team on paper than it is currently and probably makes them better than the Phillies. Currently the Mets pitching is better than the Phils, but the Phils' better offense compensates for it, Santana would be too much of a pitching upgrade to overcome.

Cross your fingers Phillies phaithful!

How did I ever live without that?!

It's been a busy week at work so far. Lots of packages shipping out, stuff coming in that needs organization. In other words Brian has to get off his fat ass and do some tedious manual labor.

The good news is that my new MP3 player has made this almost a pleasant experience to go out and do some work while I'm groovin' to some tunes. There are some really cool features that I enjoy. The best of which is the shuffle button. I'm able to have my player randomly choose from 665 songs that I like and have uploaded to the player. What's cool about that is that I'm listening to songs I haven't even thought about listening to in a long time or would consider seeking out.

The summer between my sophomore and junior years of high school I spent alot of time listening to Paul Simon's Graceland album over and over again. I haven't listened to that album in years, but since I uploaded it to my MP3 player I can now enjoy "I Know What I Know" all over again. It's true That I could've done this without a MP3 player but the ease of use is what created the new desire.

It's yet another technological advance in my life that makes me wonder how I ever got along without it before. The internet is a huge example of this. Just the other day, Comedy Central was playing the movie "Drop Dead Gorgeous" and one of the other actresses playing a nerdy beauty contestant looked familiar to me and for the life of me I couldn't remember what the heck her name was or what else she starred in. BUT because of the internet I hopped onto imdb.com and found out it was Brittany Murphy. (When in the hell did she suddenly become so hot? Turns out that she was in a bunch of movies as a nerd or plain friend like "Clueless".) Before the days of the world wide webs, I might've lost alot of sleep wondering who the fuck that actress was. If it really bothered me, I'd have to go look it up in a book IF I had it or go to the library- in either case that's too much work and the inconvenience inhibits me to do it.

So Thank You Al Gore and your wonderful information highway. I don't know what I'd do without you.

It's Springtime in January!

As the icecaps melt and global warming seems to be heating up, we're experiencing some pretty damn nice weather in January! Now, I know it's not worth letting Manhattan turn into Venice but hey, if corporate America, overpopulation and the industrial revolution give you lemons, you make lemonade.

I recall the last time we had a warm January day like this was almost exactly 10 years ago when my then fiance Lynn and I took a skiing trip to the Poconos with another couple. Of course, since it was so warm the slopes were closed. Even tho it was warm enough and no snow was on the ground, the summer attractions were closed as well. So that left us with not much to do except stay in the cabin playing cards and drinking (alot) and well... let's just say that Jonathan was a direct result of our boredom and drinking. Rememeber kids, withdraw is NOT an effective method of birth control!

New features

Added 2 new features for your enjoyment-

The first is song recommendations for the week, usually I'll post 3 songs that I'm currently "into" and think some of you might enjoy. Eventually I'll start posting live songs and show dates.


Next is my bi-polar mood meter to let you know you all know how I'm feeling at that particular moment. I haven't been really "bad" as far as severe mood swings in a few years now, so don't get too worried if you see an top or bottom mood as it's probably just a quick phase. If I'm feeling off the charts, don't worry about having to take action because I doubt that I would post anything during those periods anyways...

Rating the Kids shows part III- Pokemon

Friends of Michael Vick want to claim that dog fighting is part of the hip-hop culture. Little did they know that animal fighting is actually a stalwart in the culture of white suburban youth.

The immense popularity of Pokemon among boys aged 6 to 13 is impossible to ignore. It's so big that I would doom my sons to become social pariahs if I don't let them watch it on occasion. So despite my loathing for the show and it's insipid themes, empty characters, poor animation and overall crappiness I allow my sons to watch the show. collect a few cards and play the Nintendo DS games. If they can't talk the playground jargon and share in a cultural commonality then they'll certainly lose out in the ruthless pecking order that kids establish for themselves.

My friend Mike thinks that since there is so much choice in TV, movies and games these days that the current generation of kids won't have much to share in their common pop-culture like we did when all we had was Saturday morning TV and Brady Bunch and Gilligan's Island reruns on UHF channels after school. I agree with him for the most part, but Pokemon for whatever reason trancends that barrier. (he also had a great point about how there is no more nostaglia, but I'll save that for a later blog)

Basically the show is about a boy named Ash and his friends and they travel around a Japanese fantasy world looking to capture and then train mystical and mythical creatures to fight each other. Ash's prize Pokemon is an annoying, saccharine yellow blob of a rodent with lightning powers named Pikachu. All it ever says (and the same with all other Pokemon) is it's own name over and over in a helium induced voice. My sons know the names and powers of quite alot of these Pokemon. Apparently they also "evolve" and become bigger and better with age, kinda like mutant atomic caterpillars.

Here's some constructive criticism for y'all- The show sucks. It sucks, it sucks, it sucks. It brainwashes my sons to want to behave like Ash and collect all the Pokemon they can. Quite the marketing genius, the Japanese will own this country one day in the future- crafty little buggers, those Japanese businessmen. Maybe someone should drop an atom bomb on us to wake our lazy asses up.

I give Pokemon a rating of 2 out of 10.

Joke Day!! (NSFW)

A married couple was lying in bed at night. The wife was trying to go to sleep while her husband was up reading a book. As he read, he had stopped for a second to finger his wife's pussy before going on back to his book. Aroused by his touch the wife gets up and takes her clothes off and the husband asks, "What are you doing?"
She responds, "I thought we just had foreplay..."
He says, "No...I needed my fingers wet so I can turn the page."

I must secretly desire yellow teeth

Today marks exactly one half of a year since I smoked my last cigarette. As I mentioned in an earlier blog, I quit with the aid of Chantix and now I have no real desire to resume smoking again. Last night confirmed it for me. I met my buddy Mike at a bar last night to play for some cheap T-shirts in a trivia game. (did you know that Thomas Jefferson invented the swivel chair?) As I walked into the bar from the bitter and wicked cold weather the first thing I noticed was the thick cloud of smoke. It was nasty and smelled awful. The air was stale and rank. It wasn't pleasant and what I used to like smelling now repulsed me.

Don't get me wrong and think I'm going to become a anti-2nd hand smoke crusader and call for the ban of all public smoking, because I won't. It goes against my natural inclination of what freedom should be. If a private business wants to allow their patrons to smoke then that's their business. It's our choice as consumers to decide whether to patronize a place that's smoky. Thus the free market dictates to a business what the current morals are by profit incentive instead of making absurd laws that inhibit our rights.

But I digress....

Smoking disgusts me now and that's a good thing in my eyes. My 6 month abstinence calls for a celebration. Hopefully Lynn will think the same thing and reward me later tonight (wink, wink).

Of course, as I gave up one addiction I picked up another. When I smoked I lost my tolerence for caffeine. I could barely drink a 12 oz Diet Coke without having my heart rapidly aflutter. I actively avoided coffee, colas, Barq's root beer, Mountain Dew, Excedrin and binging on 5 pounds or more of chocolate. It's my understanding that nicotine is a stimulant, so I guess the extra jolt of caffeine would be a bit too much for me. (funny how a stimulant "calms you down" when you smoke, it's calming because you're in withdrawl) So when I quit I started drinking coffee to wake me up a bit as I was dragging somewhat from the lack of stimulants I got from smoking.

Yesterday, I decided to go without a cup of coffee.

I got a headache and felt tired. I drank a Diet Pepsi at lunch and felt better, guess I have a new monkey on my back.

Just my luck, coffee, like cigarettes, make your teeth yellow....

Slowly regaining friends and freedom

I love my kids.

I wouldn't trade the experience of raising kids away for all the money in the world.

That said, you lose a bit of yourself when you have children. You can't go out very often anymore. No concerts, no adult-themed movies, no whimsical excursions to Vegas, no fancy schmancy restaurants, no bar hopping, no getting stoned until you feel your face melting away, and no drop everything and go where you want. Sure, there's babysitting, and Lynn and I are very lucky that we both have parents that are more than willing to watch the kids on occasion so we can go out. Nonetheless, the whole time you're out when your kids are young you can't fully enjoy the fancy schmancy restaurant because you're worried if the kids are okay and you miss them if you're gone more than 3 hours.

Not only that, but the kids become your life and almost all that you know. Conversations with friends are dominated with the wonderful things your children do. When they're babies you even talk about their bowel movements to friends who also have infants. As they get older, their achievements are bally-hooed to whomever will listen to you.

Naturally, you begin to lose touch with friends. You're too busy taking your kids to Karate, swimming lessons, school, camp, or whatever it is that they're busy with and so are your friends as they also have children. My wife and I used to go places all the time with another couple and now that we both have kids, it's next to impossible to even see them twice a year, even if we get the kids together.

Thankfully the internet is here! Over the past few years I've reconnected with some old friends and thru email I'm able to keep in touch. I rarely see any of them on any regular basis. But at least I have some form of adult contact outside of my wife, work and poker group.

Unlike my parents, when my kids are old enough to go off to college or move out I don't think I will have to deal with the "empty nest" syndrome. My parents certainly had the worst of it and even separated for a year shortly after my brother and I moved out. I don't think they knew how to deal with each other when they didn't have the common thread of raising us. Their social skills with adults were diminished to a huge degree and they suddenly had different interests.

As I regain contact with old friends and gain some freedom as my kids get older I feel myself becoming whole again (but different). However, it was good giving up part of myself to create a family, and some parts will never be back. I say good riddance to that.

More Ham and Cabbage

Okay, the house still reeks. I don't recommend slow cooking ham and cabbage without proper ventilation. At least the flatulence that resulted in consuming the ham and cabbage was masked and I didn't even have to blame the dog.

at least you can turn a 7 into an 8

Made my first date screw up of the new year and dated something 07' today. Luckily, you can keep making the 8 after you catch the error, it just looks a bit angular and kinda like the symbol for the artist formerly known as prince. But, it's much better than last year when you had the erase or cross out the 6 since you can't salvage it into a 7.

Ham and Cabbage

mmmm...that's what my house smells like right now! Jealous?

Thought so...

It's Jammuary!!

On my Comcast on-demand options there has been a concert channel in the music section. They occasionally play some jam-band music, which is great because I hardly get to attend concerts like I used to before I had kids. I'm overjoyed when I found out that they are having a "Jammuary" theme this month and will be showing all sorts of concert snippets from all of my favorite bands from Phish to Widespread Panic to Umphrey's McGee to moe. and a whole bunch of smaller bands that get the groove going. So, if you have Comcast digital cable and like improvisational music I recommend you check it out!