Hatching a smoke

Just got back from my trip- don't have much time to tell you all about it yet, but a quick update- The baby birds are hatching!!

An open letter to Lynn

Early Wednesday morning my wife and I are boarding a plane to San Francisco where we'll spend a blissful week without the kids drinking lots of wine and eating good food and having lots of sexy time. We're doing this because it's our 10th anniversary this coming Saturday. Milestone anniversaries don't come very often, so we're splurging and treating ourselves to nice hotels and restaurants. As a result of this trip, I won't be posting on this blog for over a week. (sorry Mike)

I do wish to express myself when it comes to how I feel about my wife before I leave. While I won't be incredibly sappy about it I do think those who wish to think of me as a manly man should leave the room.


Lynn,

Sweetie, I am a selfish man and I don't deserve to be loved and cared for by the likes of someone as yourself. Every morning in the shower I mutter to myself about things that will happen that day or things that have happened the day before. It's just how my mind operates and it's how I reset myself every day to get ready for the world. Ever since I have been with you I have muttered the phrase "I love Lynn/my wife" to myself at the beginning of everyday. I don't think I ever missed a day. While a barely audible mumble isn't really a good way of letting you how much I appreciate you, I do realize just how lucky I am to have you as my wife, partner, lover, friend and mother of my children.

Professions of love are often cliche or are over the top and tend to lack the needed punch of being able to truthfully express one's true feeling. Yet we keep trying anyways. I have no God to thank for you, I have only you to thank, so I'll repeat myself ad nauseum if it'll alleviate the guilt of having someone like you when I know many others don't have it this good. I love you, Lynn You get me. You compliment me. You fortify my weaknesses. You understand my humor, my sensibilities, my outlook and my needs. You still rock my world sexually. I honestly can say that you satisfy every desire and urge that I have even if that means that you allow me the space at times to go out and indulge myself. (ie. take care of the kids while I play poker)

I pledge again this week as I did 10 years ago to give you my heart. I will refocus to make you as happy as you have made me. I want you to know just how much I love you and I know I haven't demonstrated it enough. I find myself trying to refrain from sounding too corny as I wrtie this and I don't want to use hyperbole to take away from the driving impetus I have to tell you that I love you so very much. I will leave it at that and hope that you will continue to love me as you have for the past 12-13 years.

Sweetie, I look forward to our celebration of 10 years this week. I am so glad that the future is still long and bright as it was on our wedding day.

Love,

Brian

Why can't this ever happen to me?

So, I just sat down at a $0.15/0.30 NLHE deep stack table. I get a few crappy hands and fold. I fold a K6 offsuit and watch some interesting fireworks. Usually when you get quads (aka 4 of a kind) you don't win a big pot. In live and online play (non-tourney) I've had quads maybe 4 or 5 times. Once I won more than a few bets. It just goes to reason that if you have a chunk of the board in your favor, it's unlikely that your opponents will have much at all. So, unless your opponent bluffs you usually won't make much.

Not so for the lucky bastard pictured above...

He got paid off by TWO opponents. (about $60 each, which is the approximate buy-in)

Both his opponents had the misfortune of having tens full of nines, the 2nd "nuts" for this board. (nuts being the best possible hand) Unless someone has quad nines, then your tens full is a winner. Imagine their surprise when they see that 2 other people are all in with them in the pot. You figure that maybe one other guy has a ten and you're chopping the pot. (splitting) It probably felt like they got hit in the gut when the quad nines showed.

I just want to know what the guy with the 9's felt when he saw his opponents raise and reraise. I can only guess....

Now serving

Picking both these kegs up Friday. Mmmmmmm..can't wait.



(Nicole and Karen- call ahead before stopping by....)

The birthday blues

April 24th is my birthday- brace yourselves for a "woe is me" kind of entry!!

I think since I've turned 30 I've looked less and less forward to birthdays to the point where I start to dread them. Tomorrow I turn 38. While it's no milestone birthday, it still sounds incredibly old to me. Besides, with my 10th wedding anniversary and 20th high school reunion approaching this year, I don't think I could stomach another milestone like turning 40. (like my brother did 2 months ago)

While I realize tomorrow I'm just another day older, the event itself is like a hard poke to your side ribs and a lingering painful reminder of my mortality. Despite the best efforts of my wife and kids to make me happy, I'm sure I''ll end up being a dour piece of ungrateful shit during the whole festive event. This, of course, will lead to Lynn getting upset that she can't make me happy and she'll get all pissy as well. At least misery loves company?

If I get this crummy when I turn 38 just imagine how hard "mid-life" crisis is going to hit me when I get to be in my 50's. (altho-technically if I live to 76 like I'm supposed to then I'm in "mid-life" right now.) I sure hope I'll have enough money to blow on hookers and exotic sports cars or else I may just have to become a serial killer that goes around killing people in their 20's because I'm jealous of their youthfulness and vitality.

Also- please spare me your "38 is the new 28" and "you're only as old as you feel" comments. I will hunt you down by your IP address and get an early start on my new psychotic career.

Happy fucking birthday to me.

Who says smoking is bad for the environment?!

In some ways I'm embarrassed to show this picture but it's too funny to keep to myself.

Today is my son Gabriel's 7th birthday. He was out in the back yard playing with his friends and dinner time was approaching. Since it was his birthday I needed to ask him what he wanted to eat so he could choose his favorite. (He chose mac and cheese) I was in the bedroom at the time and we have a small upstairs patio that you can access thru a door from the bedroom. I opened the door and went onto the patio to ask Gabriel what he wanted. I haven't been out on this patio since I quit smoking (I would never smoke in the house). I guess I prefer my patio on the ground.

Now here's the embarrassing part. I used to dump my ash tray into a trash can that was on the patio. I guess since I haven't been on the patio in so long I've forgotten to empty the trash can which is filled about 2/5's of the way up with cigarette butts. Pretty gross, I know. I'm a slob, I admit it.

Just as I was about to shout down to Gabriel I noticed the trash can and a bird that made it's nest inside of it!! I can't tell if there's eggs in the nest of butts and twigs that the bird had made for itself, but I don't have the heart to chase the bird away.

Anyways, here's a picture that my wife took of the bird. You can click on it for a blown up view. I truly hope she doesn't get addicted to the butts.

Looking for beer suggestions

I just tapped my Magic Hat number 9 a moment ago, I am sad...

The Yuengling Black and Tan is what's left and that was bought more for Lynn as it's one of her faves. Besides, that's a good 10-15 beers away from getting tapped as well.

So I need beer and need to call my new pal Bob at Bob's Kegs and Cases and tell him to get me something. Thus what brings me to a dilemma- Spring ales are usually not what I like in a beer. Most are too hoppy or are too pale for my tastes. I love the winter lagers, October fests, scotch ales and deep caramel flavorings.

Not knowing what to get, I am leaving my next beer choice in your hands. The 1st person who suggests Coors Light will be permabanned.

What a great day for baseball

Yesterday afternoon I was able to go to the Phillies business person special. There wasn't much that could've been done to make it a better experience. For starters, they won in a blow out 10-2. Seven of the Phillies starters got 2 hits (you suck Bruntlett!!) and four hit home runs. Myers pitched a gem and allowed only one run in 7 innings.

The other thing you couldn't beat was the weather. It was a gorgeous day. The high temperature was about 75 degrees, it was sunny without any clouds, and there was the gentlest of breezes wisping it's way thru the park. I could've just sat there and watched a cricket match and not cared since the weather was so nice.

I also partook of one of my favorite ballpark treats, the Schmitter. It's basically a cheesesteak sandwich served on a Kaiser roll, with tomato, onions, a slice of salami and special sauce. A tasty sandwich named after my favorite childhood ball player. I also bought a 7 dollar cup of Blue Moon wheat beer to wash it down. Later Dan and I wandered over to the Turkey Hill stand and got a pint of Ice Cream. It was just one of those days that everything was relaxing, enjoyable and fun.

I even laughed when Carlos Lee, the Astros portly left fielder, decided to tease the crowd. At the end of the 7th inning he caught the last out. As some players do, he whisked around towards the crowd as if he were to throw the ball into the stands for a souvenir. He made the throwing motion but held onto the ball and quickly ran back into the dugout, laughing to himself the whole way as the crowd jeered him loudly. What a dick!

Unfiltered

I feel like my brain has no filter or self editing feature. I am often impulsive and say whatever comes to mind without much concern for what I'm saying. As quick witted as I can be at times, I sometimes come off as being flat out obnoxious. My manic mind speeds along too fast and I must skip the filtering process of thinking to myself- "Is this a good idea?" Most of my friends and family are aware of this and as a result I have no shock impact anymore. "That's just Brian." is a common sentiment held by my in-laws.

This opinion that is held of me, of course, allows for a certain amount of freedom. Even back in college I could reach out and grab some of my female friend's breasts and get little to no reaction or indignation. "That's just Brian." after all. Copping a free feel was among the perks of being a lovable lunatic. Even recently, I've been able to tell my in-laws to their face that they're harder to get rid of than Herpes. (in regards to how long they stay after a party or event has ended)

Don't get me wrong, I'm sure my words and actions have impact, even if it isn't shocking. However, the impact is freeing because it allows me to say things through humor that I wouldn't ordinarily be able to say with a straight face.

Needless to say it does get me into trouble. My brother-in-law isn't a big fan of mine and he's probably one of the few people I tend to step on eggshells when I'm around him. It also leads to some interesting moments....

Last week I was driving back from running some errands in town and I was driving past the adult book store on Upper State Road. I noticed a guy in his 50's get out of his car in the front parking lot. The store has it's own lot, so there really wasn't any good reason for him to be there other than to buy some porn or sex toys. Far be it of me to judge a man for this. I certainly have gotten my porn urges on as well. Heck, I think it's unhealthy to not watch porn sometimes. Even if he were to get gay, bondage, rape, scat porn I couldn't care less what gets this guy turned on and I will fight for his right to walk into a porn shop and get said filth.

Despite my firmly held beliefs, I rolled down my window and screamed, "PERVERT!!"

It was pretty funny actually, he jumped and walked faster into the store. He probably thinks I was some moralistic nut job.

He's only half right.

A Taxing day

I just finished my taxes.

Every time I feel myself leaning liberal, I need to remind myself of days like today. Screw the poor, I want my money back.

Okay, so maybe we can blame the war too and stupid pork barrel projects. I guess it's why I'm mostly libertarian these days. I just wish someone who is libertarian and appealing (ie. not a nut job) would run one of these days.

Sigh

The Iron Pigs are already rusty

The Phillies new triple A affiliate in Allentown, the Iron Pigs, have started their season at 0-9. Usually, I don't care too much about the wins and losses of a minor league team because the minors is all about player development. I guess you can argue that winning breeds winners, but even the 1985-90 University of Maryland football team, which was awful, produced some quality NFL quarterbacks, including Boomer Esiason, Neil O'Donnell, and Frank Reich.

It really does speak to the quality of the upper level prospects that the Phillies have currently. They have some really nice prospects that are just entering the Reading club in double A like Carlos Carrasco. But the best prospects at Allentown are guys who project to be a 5th starter or long relief like J.A. Happ or are destined to be a backup catcher like Jason Jamarillo. The rest of the team is filled with career minor leaguers, rehabbing players, and guys who just can't seem to make the jump to the majors.

Being that Allentown is only about a 45 minute drive, I thought sometime this summer I'd take the family to see some cheap baseball with guys who could be future stars, but I fear the only future stars I'll catch will be on the opposing team. I guess that 2008 won't be a stellar debut for Allentown, but I hold out hope that next year we will finally have some quality prospects playing there and looking thru the window to the majors.

UPDATE 4/13- Now 0-11!!!

UPDATE 4/14- They won!! 1-11!!

I miss smoking today

Now before you call the anti-smoking police, I don't miss it enough to start up that stupid habit again.

It's been 9.5 months since my last ciggie. I certainly don't miss the constant hack that I had developed and I don't miss the wheezy gasps for air nor the lack of smell and the smell that perforated me and my clothes.

It's just that today is the first really super nice spring day of the year. I always used to love to go outside and enjoy the day and well, ....have a smoke. So, I guess it's not the smoking per se that I'm missing- It's the excuse to leave my desk or warehouse for a moment and go outside in the nice weather. Little 3 minute breaks while you're killing yourself with a cancerous inhalant are surprisingly refreshing. I suppose if I were to remove the latter part of the equation I still could enjoy myself, but I'd get strange looks from my brother.

Meh, who cares what he thinks?! I'm going to go take two 3-minute air breaks an hour today!

My video past, part I

As stated earlier I am in the process of digitizing my old VHS tapes that contained the sketch comedy and home movies that I made in college and high school.

So without further fanfare, here's a sketch I wrote and directed called, "Sight Reading Theater", for a University of Maryland produced TV show called, Nitelife U. It's the best production values of anything I've made obviously since we were using top notch equipment for the time.

In the next few weeks I'll be posting even more stuff from my video past. Enjoy!

4AM Pot Limit Omahahahahahahahaha!

I hosted a cash game of poker last Saturday night. I had a decent amount of people show up , altho I had about 4 no shows that said they were likely coming. I had a no-limit hold em table running and we had a HOARSE game going as well. (a rotating game of various types of poker) Towards the end of the night we started up a pot limit Omaha game as most of the players had left by 3AM.

I guess if you're stuck a hundred dollars or so, it's not a bad game to play to see if you can win back some of your losses or get even deeper as it's a high variance and fast game. I probably lost about 70 bucks in that game making me a small 11 dollar winner for the whole night.

Despite my paltry winnings, I had the most fun playing poker I've had in a while. I can't explain why either. Maybe I was in a good mood or maybe I'm getting bored of the NLHE tourneys. In either case, it was good to exercise the mind and stay up late for a change instead of being a fuddy-duddy and sleeping at 10PM every night.

Oh thank goodness!!

Well it finally appears that I've been doing something right all these years!

A survey of sex therapists has revealed that quickies are indeed the way to go. Aside from the occasional whiskey dick, my performances usually don't make it past the halfway point of a Phish performance of Run Like an Antelope. Now, if only the survey could relieve me of my other bedroom worry and my perceived...uh...shortcomings. Deep down I have a hidden desire to move to Asia so I won't have press up so damn close to the urinal in fear that I am the smallest man in the room.

Reading further down I see that length of foreplay still seems to be the prevalent problem and concern of most partners. I guess the whole idea still seems foreign to me. Usually all it takes is for me to pinch my wife's ass and I'm sportin' wood. Hell, sometimes a gentle breeze is a nice pick me up or even a Jergins lotion commercial will get the blood flowing.

I've always contended that it's a good thing that we don't mate like most mammals and have our women go into heat, although, it would be quite interesting. I could just imagine that about 10 times a year a woman would walk into a bar and start screaming "Fuck Me!!" and raise her behind into the air and "present" herself. At that point all of the alpha males would either start fighting each other or pissing all over the place to mark their territory. In either case, it would get quite messy until things get sorted out, but there would be no talk of not enough foreplay, I'll tell you that much.

The write stuff

I always enjoyed writing and consider myself to be a good writer. Not a great writer; I can't inspire or sound melodious or argue an opinion convincingly. But I might make you laugh and I can conjure up some good imagery. I feel that my writings are good enough to get an 'A' in an English 101 college class despite what Lynn's professor thought of a brilliant paper I wrote for her once. I was fuming when she got 'B+'. If Lynn wouldn't have been kicked out of college for getting me to do her work I would've stormed into the professor's office and argued for an 'A'. It really was one of the best papers I wrote, I wished she saved it. (altho, it wouldn't surprise me if my mother-in-law still has the Apple computer with the file still on it.)

Blogging has allowed me to write again and it fulfills me. I have no real deadlines. I can write about whatever I choose and I'm not being graded. Despite that there's no stickler of a professor with-holding a well deserved 'A' from me I do feel somewhat overshadowed by some of my fellow bloggers, including the people I link.

Paul wrote a wonderful essay about baseball's opening day. Despite the fact that he's a college professor that probably unfairly gives 'A' papers B pluses, I enjoy his musings and think he's a better writer than me.

Andy always writes some wonderful stuff and I really enjoyed his take on Facebook friends today. Andy is truly a creative force to be reckoned with, whether if it's thru his acting or thru his writings. I wish he could find the time to blog more often.

Bill knows his baseball. Bill can argue logically, present ideas clearly and can critically analyze a sports journalist's article thoroughly. You can pick just about any posts of his like this one to see what I mean.

Instead of singling out one of the numerous contributors over at the Good Phight I recommend that you read every post if you're baseball fan or Phillies fan. These guys know their stuff and I'll read them over the newspaper any day of the week.

I'm usually not one to argue politics if I can help it. And even though I'm libertarian I really enjoy reading David's blog. His viewpoint on Hillary's tall tales of adventure in Bosnia made me smile and I always respect what he has to say on the American political landscape.

I sometimes wonder to myself if my writings stand up to the same high level. I always have surrounded myself with intelligent friends. I suppose my links should be no exception. I'm proud to link them even if they do sometimes make me look bad.

So much for that...

Well, the friggin parachute ain't D.B. Cooper's.

I'm so disappointed.

I'm an April fool

I have a devious mind at times and warped sense of humor. If you were to say that April Fool's day was meant for me specifically, you wouldn't be too far off. Every year I try to get someone fooled by a prank, most years I'm successful. My favorite one was when I saved the newspaper that we had delivered from April 1st, 1985 and woke up early on April 1st, 1986 and replaced the new one with the one from last year. It took my Dad 5 minutes to realize he was reading last year's news. The paper was slightly yellow, but he still got fooled. Generally speaking, I think we don't notice things out of the ordinary unless it's blatantly obvious.

That leads us to this year's prank and victim.


About 3 years ago I run into my ex-high school sweetheart, Karen at the local Toys R Us. Turns out that she lives about 5 minutes from me. A year later we run into each other at the Walmart, at this point we exchange emails to send pics of our kids to each other. We exchange pics but the correspondence stopped there.

Then last year I get an email about her Komen's women breast cancer walk on Mother's day and if would I like to sponsor her. It was a chain email that she probably sent to her entire email address book and I'm sure she wasn't even aware she had me on it. I decided to donate 50 bucks and left a note "anything for an old friend". She then emailed me back thanking me and we started to email each other during slow periods at work and we rekindled our friendship. There was no inclination for either of us to have an affair or anything like that. We've met with the kids a few times at the playground and she's come over my house twice for events and we went out together with our spouses a few weeks ago.

Today I sent her this email:

I'm sorry I have to say this. So last night I had one of those knock down drag out fights with the wife. Eventually the subject of you popped up. I guess I didn't realize that Lynn was hiding alot of insecurity and jealousy. You and I both know that's there's nothing going on with us whatsoever aside from friendship and boredom at work, but for some reason she has really harbored some ill feelings that I email you so much and keep in touch with you. I will spare the details of our "spat" but unfortunately, Ive been put in a position that I feel is unfair to me and you but nonetheless I have no real choice as to what to do. I have to end our correspondences and keep our friendship on the back burner. I will still host the party in 2 weeks, but I understand if you feel uncomfortable to not want to come. I wish there was another way and I know it really sucks and I truly hope you understand that this is an April fool's joke and you've been had. I'm such a brat. Really, you didn't seriously believe that Lynn would act that way?!

She called me up in less than 5 minutes and started to needle me because I fooled her.

Pranks are fun. I'll have to start planning next year's prank tomorrow.

Opening day blahs (or Tom Gordon sucks donkey balls)

Yet again our fine baseball team, the Philles, had trouble beating their opponent on opening day. Despite a nice comeback to tie the score at 6-6, our fill in closer Flash Gordon started off his seaon with a 135.00 era and blew the game.

And it was rainy/drizzly and somewhat chilly.

You'd have thought that I had a bad time.


Not so, for starters, I was watching baseball and that's usually never a bad thing despite the outcome. Especially considering it's the 1st meaningful baseball I've watched since the playoffs. I also met a bunch of people that I've been having conversations with over the internet for up to the last 3 years. I met people who go by the names, Uncle Milty, meatball, Ramon Gris, and Drugs Delaney. I also met up with another guy who I play poker with but he also is known as seke2. Of course, they all knew me as The Red Tornado. We all post about our shared love for the Phillies on a message board called Backshegoes.com.

It's nice to put faces to the names and opinions that I have gotten to know so well these last few years. The internet makes our world smaller and I met some people that I never would have without it. That's a good thing.

Looking to preserve my comedic history

Most of my friends and family consider me to be funny (and obnoxious). My best material is often ad-libbed zingers in social settings.

However, once upon a time, I actually wrote and performed sketch comedy and I even had a stand-up routine. Eventually, I think my nerves and mental disorder got the best of me, plus I never did push hard enough to get anywhere with my comedic "abilities".

As my regular blog readers know, I have been doing alot of reflection towards my past lately. Thus recently, it's occurred to me that I should start transferring all of my comedic works from VHS tapes to digital. Of course I can't seem to get the damned video capture device to work, but I will figure it out sooner or later. I may be in my 30's but I some rudimentary knowledge of how a computer operates!

Oh, and when I do, I'll start uploading the stuff to this here blog.

Won't that be fun?!

You can all marvel as to how skinny I was and wonder if I've been eating jars of frosting all these years.

You can make fun of me all you want- just don't say I'm not funny. I don't think I can take that.

Unsolved mysteries

I love a good mystery, but I need resolution.

It's part of my nature; I can't stand not knowing something. My mother always complained that I asked too many questions. I guess in some ways it makes me nosy, but ultimately my inquisitive desire has led me to greater knowledge. Overall, I don't think that it should be considered a bad thing.

The D.B. Cooper mystery has always fascinated me ever since I learned of the caper as a teen. The idea that someone could jump out of a plane with a substantial amount of money and leave no trace, alive or dead unnerves me to no end. I have to know- who it was, why he did it, what happened to him if he landed safely, what happened if he died and where his body is, etc, etc.

Imagine my delight when I read this morning that it's decent possibility that they discovered his parachute. I have been strangely excited since and have been scouring the internet in hopes of an update. I have also reacquainted myself with all of the kooky theories and crackpots that come out of the woodwork and claim that they know who D.B. really was or that they themselves are the infamous D.B. Cooper.

Like I said, I love a good mystery. But, dammit, I really hope that this parachute leads somewhere. After all, if it doesn't then more questions arise like- why did someone bury a parachute in rural Washington state?!

I should resolve myself to disappointment, however, even if the parachute is proven to be D.B.'s parachute, all it really does is prove that he landed safely. No answers as to his whereabouts or ultimate destination will be revealed. But still, it's something interesting, and it got my inquisitive juices flowing.

And I do love a good mystery.

4 years later...the poker boom on TV and the WPT on GSN.

There were 3 main things in 2004 that led to the huge boom in poker on TV.

1) The 1st and most important reason was the invention of the hole camera that allowed viewers at home see what the player's hands were. This allowed the TV audience to see how the pros and amateurs would play hands in certain situations. Without the technology there would be no poker boom. However, without proper application the technology would've gone to the wayside. That leads us to...

2) The Travel Channel and ESPN and the respective World Poker Tour and World Series of Poker telecasts brought poker into everyone's living room. It turned the game into a spectator sport. Not only could the average Joe at home watch Phil Helmuth win a tournament but they also could watch him whine and complain and understand why he was acting like such a dip, since they could see that his pocket kings lost to 9 7 offsuit. The WPT on the travel channel allowed certain players to become stars much like any pro golfer or NASCAR racer. The TV poker pro emerged from this era, and people like Howard Lederer, Phil Ivey and Daniel Negreanu became recognized as the top players of the game by winning or placing high in WPT tournaments. While ESPN did cover the WSOP since the 80's, the hole cam allowed them to expand their coverage in 2004 and that leads us to the 3rd reason for the poker boom....

3) Chris Moneymaker won the 2004 WSOP main event. The fact that your average stiff could win a 60 buck satellite online and then ultimately win 2 million dollars without having been the best but get lucky led to the biggest boom of all. We all could envision ourselves winning a major tournament and the flood towards online play, home games and casino poker started.

So, why the history lesson?

I watched the WPT coverage last night on GSN. (their debut episode)

It was mostly the same as it had been on the Travel Channel, with the exception of some better graphics and info. I was hoping it would be much better, but the tournament format that made poker popular in the 1st place is what is making it boring to watch. But I have to remember it was once exciting to me to watch and it's what mainly inspired me to go out and play without fear that I would suck. The WPT and tournaments like it give the viewer that hope that if they get the right cards and not play like a complete fool, they too can win a big score.

Of course, I've grown as a player and found much more vital information through experience and books than I ever have watching it on TV, but it was an easy way for to learn enough to get started. I've been hooked since. I also hope that the popularity stays, people at the casinos are playing like they are in tourneys and don't adjust well enough for a cash game. Needless to say, it makes me more successful in cash than in tourneys.

Although my response to watching was somewhat tepid the show did have interesting moments. Watching Phil Ivey go the rail early for the 7th time at a TV final WPT was amazing. He truly is a top 3 player in the world if not the best. For him to not get a WPT bracelet after 7 close tries is incredibly unlucky. It was also interesting to see the younger internet players take over the last 3 spots. I wish their naked aggressive style would work for me lately...

One more week!!

I don't have much time today as it's been somewhat busy at work today.

BUT

Just to brag- In a week at this time I'll be watching the Phillies open their season against the Washington Nationals at the park.


I can taste the beer now. I can't wait!

Limiting one's strategy

Last night I donked out by the 1st break in a tourney at Lottery Larry's house. I was already getting short stacked and was on the cut off position (the seat right before the button) with no one in the pot yet. It didn't matter what cards I had as I needed to pick up the blinds and this was a rare pot that had no one entering in from early position. (I had 10 8 off suit) I went all in and prayed no one would wake up with a real hand and just then the host himself starting counting out his chips. It looked like he might call but was worried that he wouldn't be left with alot of chips if he lost as he was counting the stack that he would have left if he called. I held out hope that he would fold.

Well, my read was completely erroneous and he was counting his remaining chips so he could announce his all in re-raise. I figured I was pretty much cooked after that announcement, but it turned out to be a good thing for me as he pushed out the big blind who showed pocket 9's as he folded.

Lottery Larry tabled his pocket 4's.

I was elated to have 2 overs and an near coin flip situation to double up and stay alive. I queried as to why he went ape with the pocket fours and he seemed to have a superstition about "the power of 4". I guess he's either a Charmed fan (and got it wrong- it's the power of 3) or has unusual positive expected value with pocket 4's. Usually, I say that superstition is bad luck, but the flop was unkind to me as was the turn and river and I was sent to the rail before the night was still young.

This was becoming a regular situation for me this year and I don't know if I've been unlucky or just playing poorly. I'll have to reassess my play when I have more time and try to recall situations and see if I acted too early with my pushes.

Shortly after my exit I played in a side cash limit game that was a rotation between Hold 'em and Omaha. Omaha is a cruel mistress when played as limit. As hard as it is to push out people drawing in no-limit or pot-limit, it's a damned near miracle to chase anyone out when you have the stone cold nuts on the flop and vulnerable to the flush or full house.

The one hand that almost had me as a tilt monkey the rest of the night I had KdKhTdAh. I was double suited, paired up and on the button in great position, so I raised. Of course, everyone called including the blinds. The flop came Qs Jc 9h. I had the nut King high straight. It was bet, so I raised and everyone called! The turn was still safe but started to get dangerous as an 8s peeled off. It was checked to me so I had to bet and of course everyone called. I guess I should feel fortunate that I was getting a big pot for such a strong hand, but I just knew that the river was going to kill me with so many people still in the hand. Another jack hit the table.

Fudge

It was bet and I really had no choice but to donate and call. Of course I lost to the full house held by a James Caan look-alike. At least he didn't go all Sonny on me and have me whacked.

Considering I have not played limit in a long time, I did make a nice recovery. Maybe I was just getting lucky but I felt like I was making some nice bets and check raises at the correct times and maximizing my profits. I was ahead when I should have left and started to get some cold cards when I stayed a bit too long. I did just about break even for the game. The silver lining was that I donked off some chips to Larry's wife, so both my host and hostess benefited from my appearance. I hope they repay the favor if they come to my cash game in April.

The Easter Bunny has ulterior motives

As nerve racking being the tooth fairy can be, being Santa or the Easter Bunny has it's perks. The Easter Bunny is starting to develop a reputation in our house for bringing some candy that my kids don't really like but my wife and I do. What a stinker he is! How dare he bring jelly beans, Almond Joys and Cadbury creme eggs! He even had the audacity to leave Peeps last year, a candy that no one in the family likes with the exception of moi.

That is until I heard Gabriel utter the phrase yesterday that he now likes Peeps. I'm starting to wonder if the Easter Bunny should leave any Peeps and just let them sit in our garage and get stale since they taste better that way anyways. Peeps are better as they age and get a little chewiness to them and "bite". However, you cant let them age too long or else you have little ceramic like bunnies and chicks that look gaudy.

BTW- Has anyone else noticed that the Cadbury creme eggs are getting smaller? A little video snippet from the Conan O'Brien show seems to prove that we're right!!

The Harrington books are here!

As mentioned before, I am anxiously awaiting the arrival of the 2 books written by Dan Harrington on playing cash games in poker. Unfortunately, I'm getting these books for my birthday from my dad so I'll have to wait another month. Until then I've been reading the free excerpts on the 2+2 website and they just had him as a guest on their podcast.

Dan has already written what has fast become considered the no-limit hold 'em tournament bibles. I hope the cash books live up to the hype, and I think they will. Unless, if any of you reading this blog post play poker with me, in that case- I'm sure these books will suck and you should avoid them at all costs.

I do have a cash game coming up at my house in Early April, so for those interested, drop me a line.

Time to brag about my son

My oldest son Jonathan is 9 1/2 years old. He's always drawing his favorite cartoon characters and Pokemons and dinosaurs. He's actually very good for his age. He's been good ever since he could draw. If you ask me, he draws better than most adults. Yesterday, I saw him drawing and he was copying a picture of a Dalmatian puppy he had in a book. (copying from freehand, not tracing the picture) After he was done the picture, he drew his own background and gave the dog toys, food and even a fun portrait was hung on the wall. He did this picture in less than 10 minutes.

Needless to say, I'm beaming with pride as his talent seems to be getting more refined and mature. I may have to find a way to sqeeze in art lessons between his swimming, karate and piano lessons.

The Beer Man Called!!!

Now being served in my basement:

Help! My wife is becoming an addict!

My wife, Lynn, is not a fan of video games. I think her dislike stems largely from the fact that she isn't very good at them. I must admit that once you get past an Atari joystick, with its one button and one motion control that most controllers, with it's 6 buttons, 2 motion controllers and 2 triggers, can seem daunting to those who don't wish to keep practicing. So once she heard that the Wii is more intuitive with its motion detector from her coworkers (a bunch of 50+ women), she started to express her desire for us to get a Wii. One mention was all it took for me and I immediately starting seeking one out. (see previous blog)

When I bought the Wii I purchased 2 games to go along with it aside from the fun sports games that it comes with- Super Mario Galaxy and Wii Carnival. The Carnival game I bought because it had skee ball in it and my wife loves to play skee ball whenever we're at the shore or at an amusement park. I figure it would best to keep her happy when it came to the Wii so she wouldn't feel buyer's remorse if the bulk of games weren't up her alley. (excuse the pun)

Lynn works the graveyard shift at a local hospital as a lab tech. So if you're in the ER in the middle of the night for crashing your car while DUI, she may be the one who's testing your urine to see how drunk you are. She may also be the one who types your blood so you get the much needed replenishment from all of your bleeding from your massive head injuries, you dumb ass! (Driving drunk, what were you thinking?!) The schedule works out fine while our kids are young. She gets home at 8am, just when I need to leave for work, and puts them on the bus at 8:45am and then goes to sleep until 4pm, when they get home. No day care expenses is a wonderful thing.

The problem is that she needs to get to sleep right after the kiddies leave. It's barely 7 hours if she were to fall asleep right away but usually she needs to wind down a touch and she's happy to fall asleep at 9:30am.

The past week and a half I have been getting calls at work around 10:30am from her. The tone of her voice is the frantic type of ranting that most spouses recognize as when to shut up, listen as best as one can, and then reassure them despite what one thinks. (because if one doesn't then you can kiss sex good bye for at least a week.) I tried my best to keep up with what she was saying and I heard bits and pieces like, "...I can get the ball in the 100 point hole when I snap the remote against my shoulder.." and "..knock all of the clowns down with the ball.." and "...but, no, the damn remote won't fucking respond the way it should..." It was becoming apparent that she is getting addicted to the Carnival game.

The first few calls I figured she was just blowing off steam from a hard night's work. Now I am getting worried that if the trend continues I may fear for my and my children's safety. I can just imagine her forcibly grabbing a remote from their hands and hissing, "Mine! I'm the one who worked hard into the nights for this!! My precioussssss!!" I worry that on the nights when she's off and that she's in bed with me, that she may start wildly flailing her arms around in her sleep as if she were trying to get the damn ball into the stupid fucking 100 point hole. I may suffer a serious eye injury or worse she may impale my crotch as she's trying to bang the remote.

As a crazy person, I readily recognize crazy behavior in others. Obsessing over an activity that causes your endorphin levels to rise is something that is no stranger to me. I am a poker addict and I used to be a smoker. I wish I knew how to stop her from self-destruction, but alas, nothing really worked for me until I hit rock bottom. I guess I'll have to idly stand by and wait until she falls so that I can catch her.

I wonder which will come first- rock bottom or getting the stupid fucking ball in the Goddamned 100 point hole?

Grandson of 6 degrees of Napster

Okay, same rules as before, but this time we'll start with a group I don't care for all that much and see if we can make our way towards a cool band or singer.



We'll start with a 80's hair band that my wife loved as a girl- Poison. Besides watching Bret Michaels being pathetic on VH1's Rock of Love, their music was filled with overall crappiness and banality. So let's see if Every Rose has it's Thorn, shall we?


1) People who enjoy Poison also enjoy Twister Sister.

I admit that I liked We're Not Gonna Take It, but that's probably because of the video... At least Dee Snyder is kinda cool and isn't pretentious at all. An improvement but we have a long ways to go still.

2) People who enjoy Twisted Sister also enjoy Alice Cooper.

How ironic, Alice's biggest hit (and most annoying song) is titled Poison. Alice did have some decent tunes in the 70's and apparently is a decent golfer, go figure...

3) People who enjoy Alice Cooper also enjoy Foreigner.

Huh? I guess, I'm used to the 80's Foreigner. Foreigner did have some stuff in the 70's that would be considered more heavy metallish than I Want To Know What Love Is.

4) People who enjoy Foreigner also enjoy Hall and Oates.

Sara Smile is a very cool song and one of these guys is from Philly (the one who looks like Baba Booey?), but I just can't get past Out of Touch to consider this a success yet.

5) People who enjoy Hall and Oates also enjoy The Cars.

Ric Ocasek is one very ugly mother-fucker. But the dude had so many big hits that he scored with Sports Illustrated super swim-wear model, Paulina Porizkova. (Billy Joel also bagged Christie Brinkley around the same time.) Even though the band oozed cool, I was never a huge fan. While I usually won't flip the radio when Drive or Just What I Needed comes on, I don't actively seek their songs out.

6) People who enjoy The Cars also enjoy Talking Heads.

Success!! I love the Talking Heads. And She Was is one of my favorites; Psycho Killer and Once in a Lifetime are great as well. I could listen to entire albums of theirs.


So we made it from mediocrity to something special. Hair to slick new wave. Whodathunk it?

The Phillies are just plain tapped out....

I'm just imagining that the Phillies are like a hobo with his pockets turned inside out and his shoulders shrugged, all the while a violin plays some whiny and sad music.

Apparently, despite all of the pitching woes that they are experiencing during spring training, the Phils just can't afford another 4 million dollars for another starter that's readily available. (Kyle Lohse)

"We don't have any interest in him," assistant general manager Ruben Amaro Jr. said of the free agent, a former Phillie. "The fact of the matter is we may not have the dollars and cents to do something like that at this time."

The Phillies have a payroll that could exceed $106 million on opening day, which would be a franchise record. So even if Lohse is seeking a one-year, $4 million deal, they are not interested.

So I guess they'll be trotting out some really bad pitching this year. The Durbin boys, Travis Blackley and Rosario are our best options for the 5th spot (and Kendrick may be falling back down to earth, cross your fingers he rebounds later this spring) since Eaton is a lemon and I'm glad he'll end up on the DL anyways.

Here's hoping we score 12 runs a game....

First an extra day of work and now we lose an hour of sleep?!

WTF?!

Just recently I had to work an extra day without additional pay (see leap year post), now you're telling me that this weekend we have to lose an hour of sleep because we have to "spring forward"?!!

Who was the Einstein who thought up this friggin' bright idea? It's the middle of the night and we're supposed to skip ahead an hour?!

Hey!! I have an idea!! - here's what we should do instead!

When it's time in the spring to set the clocks ahead an hour, how 'bout we do it at 4pm on a Friday?! That way the large majority of us will get to go home an extra hour early!

Brilliant!!!

But NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! Those evil corporate bastards would never go for that idea and they would never let their political lobbies allow their paid off congressmen and senators vote for such an idea.



sigh

He without schmaltz cast the first tease

I've been getting some flack about having "Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head" on my mp3 player as posted on yesterday's blog entry.

Let me get this out in the open now.

Everyone secretly likes some sort of sappy or syrupy entertainment whether it be music or a show or a movie or what have you that is largely considered by the public as schmaltzy.

Aside from having "Mandy" by Barry Manilow on my mp3 player, I always stop to watch Riverdance when I'm flipping or enjoy some QVC or infomercials. I'll sing along to "Afternoon Delight" by the Starland Express if I hear it and sometimes I'm in the mood to listen to Olivia Newton John, Dammit!!

So if you say that you don't like anything that's "uncool", I don't believe you, you fucking liar.

My mp3 player is reading my mind!!

I realize that this sounds completely made up or I've gone off the deep end (finally!!) but I swear on my left testicle that it's true.

This morning when I was ready to leave for work it was pouring rain. Dummy me, I left my umbrella in my car, so I had to make a break for it and I got soaked as I ran to my car. Once inside I started up my mp3 player and hit the shuffle button. I have 641 songs on the player, it's supposed to hold 1000 songs but I have alot of jam band songs that last 10 minutes or longer on the player, so I'm actually surprised it holds that many. So out of the 641 songs I have, it decides to play "Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head". Now I know most of you are wondering why the hell I have that song on my player. But I allow myself some guilty pleasures like BJ Thomas and Barry Manilow, thank you very much.

Of course I recognize that the apt song playing at that particular time was a small coincidence. But just then- I drove through a large puddle and swerved and lost control of the car a bit. The Blind Melon song, "No Rain" came from the mp3 player.

I quickly called my wife and told her how freaked out I was and how my mp3 player was the devil or possessed by demons or it was magical and it will somehow lead us to the promised land. She scoffed at me (yet again) and I hung up the phone. I turned onto Bristol Road in Warrington as the clouds were parting and the sun started to peek it's way through. "Here Comes the Sun" by the Beatles was the next tune the shuffle produced for me.

I called my wife yet again sounding even crazier than before. "It's trying to tell me something!!" My son Gabriel also picked up the phone and started to laugh at me. My own son, a non-believer. I hung up the phone and screamed frantically at the player-

"What is it that you want?! Tell Me!!"

I hit the next song button.

"Hold Me" by Fleetwood Mac came on.

Stupid me. It had wanted what everyone wants, a little love and attention. How could I have not seen this before? I held the credit card sized player gently and caressed it's display and whispered, "shhhhh...there, there, poor sweet baby"

I think it liked that as it started to play, "And You and I" by Yes.

When I arrived at work I knew our short but intense affair had to end. No one could ever understand how two things so different could be together. I had to turn off the player and right before I did it started to play, "Let Forever Be" by the Chemical Brothers.

Yes my little mp3 player, I will let forever be.

Is there a 12th level cleric with a resurrection scroll in the house?!

RIP

Gary Gygax
July 27th, 1938- March 4th, 2008

creator of Dungeons and Dragons

Now with O hit points

Secret little moments of emotional wussiness

Last night I'm sitting my easy chair and I'm watching my wife and 2 kids interact with each other. I don't even really know what they were talking about but they were laughing and smiling at each other and my 6 year old son, Gabriel seem animated and hamming it up while the 9 year old, Jonathan tried in vain to get him to stop. Meanwhile my wife Lynn was doing her best to be attentive to both kids.

Then I started to get a lump in my throat and my eyes welled up a bit (not even from the pink eye) as I thought about how much I cared for all 3 of them. As soon as the moment hit me I regained my composure. I am a man after all. I can't show stupid little moments of emotional wussiness like that.

As a preteen, I was always an emotional wreck, I cried quite a lot and would dangle my Phillie Phanatic out the window with my Mork from Ork suspenders. I would imagine how sorry they'd all be if I was the one who went out the window. Eventually, I learned to control my sadness and crying fits. I clamped down so hard that I never cried again until the week before my mother died. (and I didn't cry at the funeral) I've maybe teared up a few times since, but never let the tears come streaming down my cheeks and had an outright bawling session. It's become a natural reflex for me to stop the tears if the urge to cry ever starts.

I suppose it's emotionally unhealthy to do this. I also suppose that I come off as being cold to the people around me. But, I do have those moments of emotional wussiness and as I age and as my family grows and I become ever more fond of them with each passing day I find these moments coming to bear more and more often. Sooner or later, I will be found out and outed as a fraud. I will savor the time when it does.

Sick of being sick

So there I was, confident and cocky that I would make it through the winter season without getting an illness that was more than a 24-hour stomach bug. I was bragging to people that I was healthy this winter since I quit smoking. I laughed at the face of sniffles and sneezes and coughs. "Ah-hahahahaha!!" I'd bellow, "You shall not make a sick man out of me, oh you hoary hosts of viruses and germs!!" When I made this speech aloud, I 'd get weird looks at the grocery store, but I would just shrug them off and smile, knowingly, that I was protected this year from sickness!

Then suddenly by the middle of February, all around me people were getting this horrible cold. My trusty employee started to hack and cough and then called out sick for 6 days! I also found out that my old friend Karen was hacking and wheezing her way through work for over a week. (I successfully avoided contact with her!) Then come poker night, my good friend Dave was sniffling and hacking his lungs out while he was in my car! Almost a week passed and I thought I was safe, dare I thought nigh-invulnerable to this dreaded disease.

And then Thursday night came....

At first it seemed like I had a small head cold. "No biggie!" I thought to myself, a little sinus pressure but no coughing. "I can handle this with some antihistamines!" I swallowed a few Tylenol PM's and when I awoke Friday morning, my eye was glued shut with eye boogers. Having been through this experience before, I knew immediately what it was. I had pink eye a.k.a. conjunctivitis. It feels like your eyelid is made of sand paper and your eyes are constantly seeping with goop. The first time I got it I was visiting my friend Mike at his college at Rutgers University in my early 20's. I recall screaming across a study hall to his roommate to see if he had any Visine. It must have appeared that I was huge stoner for yelling that. (well, I was, but I wasn't stoned when I asked.) Needless to say, pink eye is a rather uncomfortable experience.

Then Friday night I started to get a low grade fever that continued all weekend and my head cold made me feel even worse. My sinus pressure is awful and I even resorted to using those kooky sinus rinses where you squirt a solution up one nostril and it comes out the other nostril. I feel tired and somewhat achy but I haven't started coughing yet. I know the hacking and wheezing will eventually come. I have resigned myself to the cold Gods and will soon sacrifice a lamb to appease their anger at me for being so bold. I can only pray that my cold ends soon or that my death will be a quick and painless event.

Stupid leap year extra day

I have pink eye and a nasty head cold and today, so far, has been rather busy at work (reason for the short entry). Had this been a year not divisible by 4 I wouldn't have to deal with this crap.

What do we get for having this extra day? Since I'm salaried, I don't see any extra bonuses in my check today for having worked an extra day. Plus doesn't it screw everything up when you say, "a year ago"? Now you'll have to say a "year and a day ago, such and such happened" for another year.

I'm not happy about this situation and I want answers and I want retribution.

Could blood test for bi-polar disorder be a good thing?

My father recently sent me this link to a news story about how they may have created a blood test that can diagnose bipolar disorder.

The article goes over the debate of whether it's a good thing because of the ease to make diagnoses or a bad thing for privacy. I find it hard to believe that most employers would pay to have your blood tested for this kind of thing, but you never know when it comes to that sort of stuff. Overall, I do think it's a good thing. Personally, I would've been appreciative to know of my disorder 2 years earlier when I went to a shrink for depression. It wasn't until I met a fellow bipolar person that I knew what I had. (after all, who goes to a shrink when you're feeling good or great?) Heck, I may have been able to graduate college instead of crapping out during the worst of my mood swings.

The best thing is that it may be very useful for diagnosing children. Without going into much detail (somethings I will keep more private), a blood test may turn out to be extremely useful diagnostic tool for one of my sons. Diagnosing mental disorders depends largely on the patient relaying their feelings and symptoms to the doctor and many may intentionally omit or overlook important information. I think if I could get a proper diagnosis I could save him from a lot of stress and unnecessary strife.

Of course, the real kicker would be if I took the test and found that I have histrionic personality disorder and not bipolar disorder...

Beer week in Philly!!

I have a kegerator in my basement and my handy dandy wife built a bar complete with a beer tap to accommodate our thirsty needs. I like mostly micro-brews and higher quality beers. Call me snooty but Bud and Coors Light just don't cut the mustard and I would only consider drinking the stuff if my wife divorced me and I had nothing else to drink to get drunk to drown my sorrows.

So imagine my excitement levels when I discovered that soon there will be a beer festival in Philadelphia!! My excitement levels are already elevated from playing poker and Wii in the last few days. I might have to get Ben Gay to soothe my cheek muscles from smiling so damn much lately.

I'm going to have to come up with a really good excuse for missing 10 days of work. Although, I suppose, the work part is easy, as I can always fake a pulmonary embolism. The wife is another story- as she'll smell the beer on me and get jealous and want to escape herself. It's times like these when I wish that the children had an off button and you could store them safely in the closet while you go out having fun and sinning.

Nonetheless, when there's a will there's a way of fooling yourself into thinking that you deserve to go out and have fun and shirk adult responsibilities. Please excuse me while I go to post an ad on craigslist for an O-neg type liver as I'm sure mine won't be any good soon.

Poker updates

Up and down game this past weekend in the regular Saturday tourney.

The good:

I came into the game with a goal- (I do this sometimes to work on my game skills) Successfully bluff someone who would be hard to bluff. In other words bluff a player who is loose aggressive and would usually call with weakish hands in a wide variety of situations. My goal was accomplished early in the tourney when I sat out the 1st 11 hands and then came in strong with 9 8 off suit and isolated a guy who was already trying to run the table over. I made him fold on the turn and he went into the tank for a long time. He said after I showed the bluff that he almost went all in.

Went into the game after the break/rebuy period as chip leader.


The bad:

Had my pocket kings busted by an any ace type of player when an ace hit the flop. Was all she wrote for me. I wouldn't be so frustrated with losing on a bad beat, but my chip lead was dwindled to the point that I had to move all in from some bad play and bad luck shortly after the break. I'm disappointed in myself for being impatient in some spots.

Since I had to wait for my buddy Dave to bust or win I decided to help deal. Then this one guy who I never played with before starts complaining about how I'm dealing. I was putting the flop and turn and river out face down after the deal. I usually don't do this while playing but the table was only 4-5 handed so I figured I could speed things up by dealing and having everything ready after the deal. So this guy starts complaining about it in a somewhat snippy fashion, so I told him I didn't want to ruffle his feathers and won't deal anymore. Turns out that Dave busted on the same hand so I was leaving anyways. Could've turned more ugly than it did. Just kinda ticks me off that I'm being helpful and someone cops an attitude with me when I'm helping when I didn't have to.





Also, more poker related news---

The bankroll challenge is officially over- not because I lost it all (I ended up with $51) but because I'm having a private tourney on Full Tilt for Phillies message board posters. But even if you're a Phillies fan you are welcome to come join us-

The tournament is Tuesday the 26th at 9:15 PM in a room called backshegoes, the password is herewegoagain and the buy in is $10+1 for a NLHE double stack game. Hope to see you there!

Wii? Oui!!

Mission control we have Wii!



Let the games commence!!

I want justice!!

Today I found out that my business American Express has been used this month for unauthorized purchases. I've only used the card online twice so I doubt that the source was through the internet. Also, under further investigation, I was able to get the address to where the stuff was shipped to and it's a business that's only a mile away from my business (using my name).

If the weather wasn't so crappy I'd gather up my pitchforks and torches and burn the place down!!

But, alas, my thirst for blood will have to wait.

Perhaps I should dress up in a UPS uniform and walk into the business and ask for myself for a signature to see if anyone comes to get the package.

But I'm a big wimp.

I suppose the police will have to be brought in for my $200 worth of personal violation.

Case of the Blue-Rays

The dust has finally settled and Blue-Ray has won the high-def DVD battle. With me being a big movie watcher and especially a big at home movie watcher (when you have young kids you don't get to go see movies that aren't PG or G too often), you'd think I'd be rushing out right away to get my fancy and shiny new Blue-Ray player for my LCD high-def TV set.

Well, I guess you forgot what a cheapskate I am at times. I would hate to pay $300-400 now, when I know that in just a few months the price will probably drop to $200-250 and then come Black Friday you'll see a great deal at the Walmart for $88 from some weird electronics outfit that you've never heard of before. (I can picture names like Aiwony, Santhro, Yomikishu, and Mismachi- Japanese sounding but made in Hong Kong or Mexico)

There's something about feeling ripped off when you know that there's a better deal around the corner. The problem being is that often you wait and wait and wait and you never get the item and the next you know a brand new fancy and shiny invention comes along that replaces what you wanted in the 1st place. But you can't buy the new invention because it's too much and you know that it'll be cheaper if you wait.

Wash, rinse, repeat.

It's why buying a computer sucks. 2 weeks later and you see your computer cheaper or it has much better upgrades for the same price.

It's all a big conspiracy, I tells ya. Those Japanese are still pissed off at us for nuking their asses and having bigger penises.

I've arrived!

There are moments when you come to the realization that you've really accomplished something.

An hour ago I typed the following into the Google search engine:

"Poker Phillies Bipolar"


The very 1st result was this blog.

(strangely enough my friend Chris is number 2 and even though he's nuts he isn't bipolar)


A tear came strolling down my cheek after I saw that.

3 relatively common words and I'm the number one on the interwebs. My kids will be so proud.


I'm number 1!! I'm number 1!!!

Should we be scared of the boogey man?

The Mets acquisition of Johan Satana is a big blow, but will it spell doom for the Phillies?

The bad news-

He's the best pitcher currently in the majors and it will create at least an additional 5-6 wins for the Mets.

If Pedro is healthy, then the Mets have the best rotation in baseball.

The good news-

The Phillies still have the best offense in the National league.

Despite the anemic off-season, we still pick up some wins by moving Myers to the rotation.

The Mets will eventually regret the contract as Johan will decline or get injured.



The Mets and Phils are pretty evenly matched this year- it will be a classic battle of offense vs defense. Should be fun. Here's hoping for a repeat division title and more!

Baseball is coming

Can you feel it?!

Photos from Yahoo! Sports

Wii- Waaaaaaaahh!

The local Gamestop got in 7 Wii systems yesterday morning.

They sold out in an hour.


It's 2 months past X-mas and you still can't readily walk into a store and buy a Wii?!


WTF?! Doesn't everyone have one by now?

My wife, who isn't a video game fan in the slightest now wants one- so I'm trying to take full advantage of this fact before she changes her mind.

But the damn stores can't keep them in!!


I guess it's because other non-video game playing people like her also want a Wii.

To make matters worse, I keep hearing from friends who have a Wii about how freaking awesome it is and how it's the greatest game system ever.


I refuse to over pay on Ebay and will not buy a huge bundle pack of extra crud that I don't want. So, I'll wait some more and make more calls until I find one.


Bitch bitch bitch

moan moan moan

Waiting for mistakes

I played in a poker cash game that I haven't played in before on Saturday night. The game itself was fun, the host, Ron, did a nice job and the players were solid. The stakes were lower than I usually play, but I didn't mind as I needed a low key game to get myself back on track for this year. I did win about 50 bucks so that puts me back to even for the year if you don't count the small win in online play.

The very 1st hand I got paid off big by a person with top pair when I had 2 pair. It was probably because I was a new face. Most new players are often thought of as trying to steal or bluff alot. Shortly after the big pot I earned respect as a tight player and most of my raises were met with little skepticism and folds. As a result I made 2 successful bluffs and 1 bad bluff that I couldn't follow through with on the river because I knew I was getting called if I fired a 3rd bullet. I've made less and less bluffs in cash games through the years and it's been paying well for me. Basically, when I face solid players like I did, I usually sit back and wait for mistakes. As a general rule, I try to only bluff once per hour unless a good situation pops up.

It's boring to do that, but thankfully the company was fun enough that I could wait for big hands. As the night wore on, the players, who were drinking high quality scotches and bourbons, were getting looser and looser. I wasn't catching cards as well as I hoped, but I made enough hands to be a winner for the night. I could've made about 20 bucks more if I didn't keep adding to the straddle. I'll have to remember it's a dumb play and you'll usually lose money if everyone doesn't participate.

With my small online success and Saturday's win, I feel more focused going into this weekend's tourney. There will be more players than usual, so I'll have to listen to my own advice and sit back and wait for mistakes. They will come and hopefully, I'll be there to capitalize on them and not make any of my own.

A different take on things...

What my blog would look like if...


Ants attack!


Snoop Dog wrote it.


Mars attack!!

In memormiam: Joyce Klaus 3/8/1944-2/17/1995

Mom,

It's been 13 years since you died and I still think of you often. Your grandchildren are doing so well and I know you would have spoiled them silly. I really wish you could've met them. You live on in my memory and your traits of sensitivity and generosity have passed on through my children. Duane and I get along much better than we did before and you would be proud of how the 3 of us have built a successful business together. I can honestly say that I have a great life and I'm happy. I have you to thank for that.

I'll talk to you next year.

I love you,

Brian

All you need is love

Today I watched Across the Universe on DVD. While it's stylistically fun and the soundtrack is great (it is the Beatles after all...) the actual plot wasn't anything to shout about. The plot was a typical late 60's story and the themes have become cliche and somewhat boring. The best part of the movie was listening to Beatles tunes.

I've recently ripped my Beatles CD's onto my laptop and mp3 player. Rediscovery is always a neat thing. Aside from wondering why you ever stopped enjoying something, you also recall the times and events that surrounded you when you first discovered something. The Beatles was one of the first CD's I bought when I got my own CD player. (cutting edge back in 1986!) They released them slowly and one at a time, so as soon as the next one was available I went out to the Sam Goody and bought it. (I believe Peter Gabriel's So album and Sting's 1st solo album were also out at the same time.)

The Beatles early pop tunes are good stuff but Revolver and Rubber Soul was the beginning of something really special. I know Sgt Pepper and the White Album get tossed around as critical masterpieces (and they should) but if you get some time this week, go back and play these 2 albums. You won't be disappointed. Songs like Norwegian Wood, In My Life, Nowhere Man, Eleanor Rigby, Tomorrow Never Knows, and And Your Bird Can Sing are all beautiful and classic.

Of course, this being Valentine's Day, I would be remiss to not mention that the main theme of almost all Beatles songs is love. While certainly songs today have this theme, you just don't see it as often or with such poetry. Maybe I'm being one of those crotchety people who don't think things are as good as they used to be (and also complain about how hard they had it!) but pop music seems so manufactured nowadays and doesn't come from the heart or soul.

So dust off your old albums or cd's and play some Beatles during your romantic dinner tonight, I bet you'll thank me tomorrow.

Kris Benson signs with Phillies

Kris Benson, trying to make a comeback from shoulder injury, just signed a minor league deal with the Phillies. While not exciting in of itself because even if Kris is as good pre-injury, he ain't all that great. Nonetheless, it's a cheap move and low risk, worst case is that you dump him, best case is that he is a serviceable back end of the rotation guy.

And then there's some "other" perks to this deal....

Kris is married to Anna Benson (pictured right) and we may be hearing and seeing more of her if Kris makes the team. I've heard she's nutty, but that just means she's full of passion.

BTW- Here's an open letter to Michael Moore that Anna has posted on the web back in 2005- hahaha, I may learn to love her.

Bankroll update

As of last night my tight play has bumped my online bankroll up to 62 dollars ($7.50 of it was released from bonus, which expires tonight- I doubt I'll reach the next release). I'm still playing the cap games but if I get to $100, I'll play the 5cent/10cent NLHE and buy in for 10 bucks. I had some rough patches but overall my play seems to be superior to the typical player at those levels.

I think the reason that I'll never hit the $10K goal is that the level of skill in the players at the higher levels is much greater than that of your typical casino player. At the Borgata, a $1/$2 NLHE game is a donkfest (poker slang for lots of bad players), but if you play at 1/2 online then you're usually playing against some really good players. (probably 18 years old and already has more experience than me) The players also tend to have the latest software tools that help them analyze their game and the other players and they play even more effeciently. If I do get up to that level I may invest in some of the programs.

I'm in the wrong business

Just a half hour before the trade show that I attended last week started, I walked around to look at the other booths to see what was new and who was there and gather general info about the industry and my competition. If I haven't posted it before, I am part owner of a family business and we sell physical therapy exercise equipment like latex bands, tubes, stability balls, range of motion pulleys and the like. Most vendors at the display booths were selling similar equipment or recruiting for jobs or schools, or selling software, or selling large, bulky, and expensive medical equipment. You also see some of the chiropractic quacks with their natural cures and back cracking equipment.

Just having completed my look-see around the hall I wandered up to my booth and said hello to the guy in the booth next to me. I glanced down at his medical devices and products to see what he was selling and saw a weird oval pump with a tubular attachment. The sign above it read, "Clitoral Pump". I continued to walk towards my booth and suddenly my brain screamed, "Did that just say clitoral pump?!!"

Nah...

I must've been seeing things. It had to have said, "Clinical pump."

I spun around to double check and noticed the guy start to giggle. Sure enough, it was a clitoral pump. Not only that, but upon closer inspection, he had all sorts of plastic phallic "vaginal dilators that vibrate" and lubricants and a life size female pelvic model.

This guy was selling sex toys!

He was calling them "medical therapeutic devices for women's health", and instead of pornographic pictures on the box they were stark white and clinical. But let's call a spade a spade here, he had dildoes, vibrators, clit pumps, lube and sexual position instructional books. Most of his stuff could be found in an adult book store.

"Hahaha! I get that double take all the time!" said the man who was minding the booth.

"You're a thinly veiled smut peddler!" I remarked back while holding up the clitoral pump.

"Well, women who have diabetes issues with circulation and..." I interupted him before he could finish pleading his case, "You don't have to tell me, I understand completely. Besides, there's nothing to be ashamed of, sex is fun and natural and completely healthy. It probably does wonders for healing. Better than that back straightening device, I bet." I pointed to the booth across from me where the yoga guy who I nearly chewed up and spit out hours earlier from travel frustration was hanging upsidedown on a torture-like device. (see earlier blog about him) I continued my unsolicited thoughts on sex and ended with the phrase, "You're doing God's work."

It was fun for the rest of the show watching others do the same thing as I did and do double takes. There were alot of fine looking young women PT students at the show and I was certainly tempted to ask a few if they wanted to try out some of the equipment in my hotel room later that night. You know- for science. But alas, I don't think Lynn would completely understand my thirst for scientific endeavors and knowledge that could benefit all of woman kind, so I kept quiet and sold my comparatively boring latex items, straps, cuffs and balls.

Six Bombay Sapphire and tonics, one 22 ounce rib eye steak and one Goo Goo Cluster later....

Life is good...

It's the little things that matter...

Every time you travel, whether it's business or pleasure, you run into little snags every now and again. Usually, you don't let small nuisances stress you out as you've come to expect a little inconvenience when you travel. BUT WHEN EVERY SMALL NAGGING NUISANCE POSSIBLE HAPPENS YOU START TO GET A LITTLE ANNOYED!

What's happened to me so far:

• 90 minute flight delay, including an hour of waiting on the runway, so I couldn't even get out of my seat to stretch or pee.
• Forgot to charge my mp3 player, so it died before takeoff.
• Guy sitting next to me had bad breath.
• Woman in front of me audibly and aromatically farted 3 times.
• Baggage was lost, it was found, but I had to wait an extra half hour.
• Hotel sticks me at furthest corner away from the entrance (big hotel too).
• When I finally get to my room, there's an annoying high pitched whirring noise emanating from the industrial heater fans right outside and below my door, I call to get room switched, and had to hike up to the front and then they stick me at opposite furthest away corner.
• Front desk calls me up to say the credit card is declined. I have to go up front desk again and it turns out that American Express wanted them to see my ID to confirm. WTF?! I presented ID at the time of check in!
• This morning I go to shave and notice my razor broke during transport.
• I get to the convention hall to set up my booth and there's no carpeting or furniture that we ordered. I go to see what happened and they claim that they never received order and tried to charge extra for late order- I was fortunate enough to have the actual fax with date and time to argue and get price reduced.
• I go to breakfast while the furniture is set up and come back and they get the order completely wrong!
• I got a huge splinter from our crate that we use to ship the show materials.
• Cheap razor I bought gave me 4 nicks and I now have little toilet paper pieces all over my face.
• I'm in Nashville.
  

AAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!! What's fucking next?!!!

The yoga guy in the booth across from me noticed my stress levels rising and tried to get me to "breathe"- I told him to go fuck himself since he's probably God damned flexible enough to do it for real.

Okay, so that last part was just fantasy, but I really came close to saying it.

Twisted roots

"They took the nails out of my shoes!"

I laugh and make fun of that statement now, but as an 8 year-old kid that's a pretty scary thing to hear your Grandmother say. It was one of the few times I actually saw my Grandmother (maternal) in one of her paranoid schizophrenic states. My parents did a good job of shielding me from the truth and full extent of her problems. As an older teen I learned that she was diagnosed as having Schizophrenia and was hospitalized in and out over the years since she was a young adult. My mother was often cared for by her aunt (since my grandfather passed away when she was a girl) and I think she came to dislike her mother as an adult. I can't blame her for feeling abandoned and resentful for losing both parents through death and mental illness. My father told me that one of the reasons we moved to Richboro was that it was out of range of SEPTA's transportation system. Of course, it didn't help that my cranky great aunt Ruby was always going on about how her problems weren't real. She would cromudgeonly go on and on about how her younger half-sister was spoiled and always got her way and she was just trying to get attention like she always had before. I think after I crapped out of college from my own mental issues, my mother started to understand her own mother and sympathized more.

My grandmother died when I was in college and I just started to develop my own mental problems with bipolarism. Never having known her all that well, her death didn't affect me that much. I do wish I had the foresight to ask my mother questions about her behaviors and problems before she died herself in 1995. One of the things I learned over the years is that bipolar disorder is often misdiagnosed as schizophrenia or has schizophrenic associative qualities. So, while I often point out that my father demonstrates manic tendencies, I really should be delving more into my mother's family tree for my bipolar hereitage.

But alas, I really have no contacts left. My mother and great aunt are gone and I haven't seen my uncle Ed since my mother's funeral. He's not the type of person who I think would open up much about her anyways, so I don't really wish to seek the guy out and bother him with unpleasant memories just so I could feel better about myself.

That's the thing about roots- they're twisty and gnarly and don't look pretty, but without them you wouldn't be grounded.


You see what I just did there? I made a nifty keen metaphor! Damn, I'm a good writer sometimes!

I miss the animated beer bottles

The Bud Bowl was always the big highlight for me when I watched the Superbowl when I was in College. It wasn't a very expensive commercial and it was just pure stupid fun. Those are the type of commercials I find entertaining, so I really didn't find much exciting last night. I most certainly found the SalesGenie.com commercials fairly offensive for this day and age. (Pandas speaking with a Chinese accent?! WTF?)

I did enjoy the Tide talking stain commercial. I don't how often I get a little stain on my shirt and I feel like that's the only thing anyone is paying attention to. I enjoyed the Coke commercial with the parade balloons fighting over the Coke bottle. (Plus it was nice to see Charlie Brown catch a break for a change.) There were a few lightly enjoyable commercials but overall most were not up to stuff, so to speak. (The Audi/Godfather commercial was done so many times before, it was trite)

Oh, and the football game was pretty entertaining at the end. I'm glad to see the Pats flop on their faces and see the cheaters get their comeuppance. Sadly, the Eagles are now the only team in the NFC East to not get a Superbowl ring, let alone at least 3 like the Skins, Cowboys and Giants do.

Bankroll management Schmankroll management

Over 16 months ago, Chris Ferguson, the 2001 WSOP main event winner, challenged himself to start from nothing and get up to $10K in online poker.
The concept behind this is to use proper bankroll management and if you're a good player in the long run you'll eventually hit the stated goal. Of course, starting from scratch meant that Chris had to eventually get lucky in a free-roll multi-table tournament. Once he made a small amount of money, he stuck to his rules of never allowing more 5% of his money be on the poker table and in play. This bankroll management concept figures that if you're a winning player, you'll be able to weather the swings of variance (poker nerd talk for periods of bad luck) that poker will often give you.
So, yesterday I get an email from Full Tilt Poker letting me know I'm getting a free $75 buck bonus since I haven't played in a long time. With a skeptical eye I checked my FTP account to see what the skinny was. Turns out you need to earn your you bonus by playing raked games and they slowly release the 75 smackers depending on their points system. "Screw that!" I thought to myself as I didn't have any desire to deposit any money online at this time.

But wait a sec...

My balance says I have $2.15!

I don't remember the whys or wherefores, so to me that's a free 2 bucks and 15 cents! It's like finding a fin in the dryer lint screen- sure, it's yours technically, but it's free money since you weren't even aware of it in the 1st place.

Thoughts of Chris Ferguson blog posts on bankroll management immediately came to me and soon I was already spending the $10K in my mind. Not a minute longer than that and I was plopping down my $2.15 in a heads-up match ($2 +$0.15 fee- it was perfect!!).

Ummmm..what? 100% of my money was on the table.?!

Chris took his meager freeroll money and played micro-stakes LIMIT hold 'em. Limit is just not my regular game and I knew that I'd probably come out a loser. So I risked it all on the best chance I knew of to double it up. A heads up match- assuming I'm better than my opponent, I had maybe a 55% chance of winning. Besides this is FREE money, right?!

Thankfully, I won. I now had 4 bucks. But instead of another heads up match, I decided to play more conservatively in a $.05/.10 NLHE game with $3 cap. (meaning that most you can bet on one hand is 3 bucks) I played tight as a drum and eventually I've built my 4 bucks into 20 bucks (I'm still far away from getting my bonus). So, I think as long as I stick to the micro-stakes until I've built a substantial bankroll I might be able to build a decent chunk of change.

Of course, having someone bluff into you while you hold quad Kings is always helpful!

Go injuries!!

As an Eagles fan, I have no real rooting interest in either team in this weekend's Super Bowl. Even worse is the fact that I despise both teams that are in it. I guess you could say that I am rooting for good commercials, spectacular Theisman-like injuries and naked titties during the halftime show.

My interest in the Super Bowl has faded exponentially since the Eagles lost to the cheating Patriots a few years ago. I'll be surprised if I watch the whole thing. So if you really want to read a blog about Super Bowl Hype then I suggest you skip this and go somewhere else.

Oh- too late- this post is already over- hahaha tricked ya!